[ rss / options / help ]
post ]
[ b / iq / g / zoo ] [ e / news / lab ] [ v / nom / pol / eco / emo / 101 / shed ]
[ art / A / beat / boo / com / fat / job / lit / map / mph / poof / £$€¥ / spo / uhu / uni / x / y ] [ * | sfw | o ]

Return ]

Posting mode: Reply
Reply ]
Subject   (reply to 23019)
File  []
>> No. 23019 Clog
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:01 pm
23019 Expatriates
Alright lads, have any of you here decided to make the leap and do what angry Mail readers often threaten to: leave England once and for al, and bugger off to foreign land?

How have you found it? Got any tips?

I am living abroad in the Netherlands, myself. They only have one chain of supermarkets, really, it's a bit odd.
Expand all images.
>> No. 23020 Aki
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:24 pm
23020 spacer
It's something that interests me, though I am at uni until 2018 so by that point they may have put up a wall to stop travel either way. I hope not.
>> No. 23021 Cockernay
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:39 pm
23021 spacer

> They only have one chain of supermarkets, really, it's a bit odd.

I went back to Amsterdam recently after a couple of years away and was surprised by just how many different supermarket chains there were there now. Back when I first lived there there was only Albert Heijn (you almost can't move for AH's in Amsterdam) and Dirk van den broek, which was cheaper but also somewhat chaotic. Oh there's also been a LIDL in Amsterdam since at least 2009, it's still there. It's also very chaotic.

Yep I realise Amsterdam is to the Netherlands as London is to the UK, but it's my main point of reference, so sorry.

I never really did manage to fit in with Dutch life and culture. I ended up assuming that I must look like a famous Dutch rapist or something.
>> No. 23022 Cockernay
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:42 pm
23022 spacer

Oh and if anyone has any experience or advice on becoming non-tax resident when you leave the UK I would really, really love to hear about it. If I'm sodding off abroad semi-permanently I don't want to be paying half my money to HMRC any more.
>> No. 23023 Raoul
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:47 pm
23023 spacer
If you can swing it so that you spend four months each in four different locations, could you manage to have no tax domicile?
>> No. 23024 Raoul
9th November 2014
Sunday 2:48 pm
23024 spacer
(Also given the Great Wall is still up, only UK, NL and Nepal can post, so don't expect any replies)
>> No. 23025 Clog
9th November 2014
Sunday 3:01 pm
23025 spacer
I pay Dutch taxes straight out of my paycheck, similar to PAYE in the UK, so HMRC don't get a penny out of me; since it's all automatic. Any idea why this would differ?

Also, this means I'm not paying the Student Loan Company a penny, I should hope that their staggering incompetence means they won't notice for a good few years.

Here in Rotterdam, Albert Heijn is still massively dominant. They have the occasional Lidl (fairly similar to the English Lidl), Aldi (way shitter, seems pretty crap and stuck 10 years in the past), and Jumbo (never been). But AH seems to be the only one selling a decent range of stuff. (It's a tad pricey, mind)

>I never really did manage to fit in with Dutch life and culture. I ended up assuming that I must look like a famous Dutch rapist or something.

What makes you say that?

I did love the Kathmandu-lads stories from back in the day. I hope they return.
>> No. 23026 Cockernay
9th November 2014
Sunday 4:12 pm
23026 spacer

> I pay Dutch taxes straight out of my paycheck, similar to PAYE in the UK, so HMRC don't get a penny out of me; since it's all automatic. Any idea why this would differ?

Presumably you get that paid straight into a Dutch bank account too? Technically, unless you've made arrangements, you still owe HMRC their share of all your global earnings. Obviously what they don't see or know about they can't tax, and apparently applying for non-tax-resident status isn't that hard (http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/migrantworkers/tax-non-uk.htm). On top of this a lot of countries have double tax agreements (http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/international/dta-intro.htm) which are designed to prevent you from paying tax in two places at once. Obviously this is all just theory and in practice HMRC will never know or care about what you're earning in the Netherlands (unless you try to bring savings back with you or something).

Personally I'm, for all intents and purposes, self employed. This means that I have to be a good little boy and do my self-assessment tax return every year. I'm just wondering how that'll work out if I keep receiving money into a UK bank account while living abroad and declaring myself non-resident in the UK for tax purposes.

Sage for utter rambling.
>> No. 23027 Britfag
9th November 2014
Sunday 5:48 pm
23027 spacer

Ask HMRC and EUROPA. HMRC are generally very helpful if you're straight with them, and EUROPA provide an excellent and free advice service on cross-border issues. I've had some really complicated issues regarding my business (living in one member state, being resident in another, running a company registered in a third, trading across the whole union) and EUROPA were fantastic in helping me figure it all out.

I wouldn't worry about double taxation - our agreements are very good, and it's only really an issue if your tax affairs are extremely complex.
>> No. 23028 Clog
9th November 2014
Sunday 8:57 pm
23028 spacer
Actually I still get paid into an English bank account. It's a bit of a ballache here, you have to register with the local council when you arrive, and then after registereing, they give you the equiv. of a National Insurance number. Without this you can't open a bank account.

The registration process takes a while, you have to make (and wait for) an appointment where they check your documents, then they decided to inspect my house, and not give me the bloody number. Also, they want me to find my original birth certificate, and send it off to sodding Milton Keynes to get a special stamp from the UK government, before they'll accept that I'm real.

It's a bit of a farce.

So long story short, I'm still getting paid into an English bank account and getting arse-fucked on fees every time I take cash out.
>> No. 23029 Cockernay
9th November 2014
Sunday 9:11 pm
23029 spacer

Wow. That's quite the complex situation there lad, and you should probably talk to HMRC sooner rather than later. If and when they see the money coming into a UK bank account they will consider that undeclared earnings. Obviously you can get it sorted out as and when, but I've always found that it's better to do things as soon as possible (otherwise you might end up with something like a tax demand you don't have the money to pay, with them chasing you up for it while you concurrently deal with the process of legitimising the whole business).

The whole time I lived in .nl I worked for UK company, paid UK tax and got paid into a UK bank account - and just like you I got ripped off 5% every time I took cash out (because obviously nowhere takes credit cards over there). My registered situation in .nl was something like "self-sufficient non-economic migrant exercising free movement treaty rights".

I remember getting my burgerservicenummer there, but I think I only had to show up with my passport and a proof of address (rental contract) and that was that. I got a fancy "burger van de unie" sticker in my passport which "proved" that I was all registered and a letter with my BSN on it. The card never arrived though. I vaguely remember that I was supposed to go back within three months with my full birth certificate but I never did, so maybe that's why. Fuck the police.

The bugger for me was because I didn't have a Dutch work contract no bank wanted to open a current account for me, which left me stuck with a useless BSN and using a UK bank account for everything. I had to go and pay my rent and bills in a bloody Travelex currency exchange place (with 15 euro transaction fees and all) every month. Utter PITA. Also a lot of companies (internet, telephone) only dealt with people who had Dutch bank accounts / could do the Dutch equivalent of Direct Debit. Luckily at least the local authority (water and waste bills) and Nuon (energy) were happy send to what basically amount to Giros which you could pay at the above mentioned Travelex.

Anyway once you get your Dutch bank account sorted out things will be a lot simpler. Then you can just settle down, eat some hash cakes (Albert Heijn do some easy-bake cupcake/muffin boxes that work a treat) and learn Dutch by watching MTV and Comedy Central with the subtitles on. Bliss.
>> No. 23030 Gazza
10th November 2014
Monday 12:19 am
23030 spacer
I'm in the process of applying for a marriage visa (I-129f) for the USA with my Tex-Mex girlfriend of four years and it is an absolute ballache. You essentially have to construct a case with evidence of your relationship, various forms, a statement of your intent to marry, medical examinations, as well as in-person interviews on American soil with immigration officials.

Apparently it's a lot easier to get your green card if you do all this shite via a mail order bride. wtf?
>> No. 23031 Cockernay
10th November 2014
Monday 1:43 am
23031 spacer

That is incredibly heavy.

When I brought my missus over from South America she had to go to the capital city (luckily she had family there) and take fingerprints, pay about a grand in fees and submit a form with a load of supporting evidence that our marriage wasn't false (it's not, and wasn't). That was to bring her to the UK though. Hopefully finally putting her application for British Citizenship in this year. Inch'allah etc.

Most people complain about how heavy UK immigration is (both for tourists and for migrants) compared to the rest of Europe, but I always feel these people have never spent a lot of time visiting the states - those guys are on a whole 'nother level.

The last time I went to the States I got the third degree from their immigration guy "Why are you so nervous? Yes you're nervous, you're sweating, look at you? Don't lean on my desk, don't you get smart with me son". Trying to explain that the Alprazolam I took for the flight was wearing off and that the jumper I'd worn on the (fairly cold) plane was now causing me severe discomfort in the nearly 30oC heat was beyond my linguistic abilities so I just kept on repeating my (true) story until they let me in. I hate passport control in any country except the Netherlands (most chill passport control ever) but coming back to the UK after visiting the Great Satan is like a breath of fresh air.
>> No. 23032 Raoul
10th November 2014
Monday 9:38 am
23032 spacer

I've been living in Moscow for 2+ years now.

Visiting my folks in the UK atm, but despite many years of gs use, Russian IP's are banned and I've gone without my fix for a couple of months now. Even my British iplayer proxy won't work here.

It's a very fucking interesting time to live in Russia. When I first got there they literally worshiped the ground foreigners (especially Brits) walked on. Everywhere you went you were treated like a special snowflake.

It's still like that, but you get a lot more suspicious and negative treatment now. The propaganda machine has made average dumbfucks dislike foreigners very much.

Just to continue the supermarket theme...with the sanctions and currency collapse shopping in Russia is hilarious. I get paid in £s, and the £ has increased like 20% in strength against the Ruble in the past 6 months alone. So every few weeks I look at my shopping bill and the cost is just dropping away. 500g of chicken has gone from £5 to £4 to £3 in the past few months.

I love the UK, and am so proud of it, but fuck me if it isn't a bit too safe and banal at times. There's no adventure in a secure job, good wage, good tv and nice food. Going into my 30s eating the same food and watching the same tv shows as when I was growing up doesn't appeal to me. Also Slavic girls are just out of this world. I'll come back when I've had my fill of excitement.

I just noticed that for the first time in many months, I've been able to post on the internet and not have a filter in my brain that processes everything I say to make sure it doesn't contravene any of the draconian internet hate speech/extremism/unpatriotic sentiment/gay propoaganda laws we have in Russia. Feels good!
>> No. 23033 Aki
10th November 2014
Monday 9:56 am
23033 spacer

>>23032 here

I cannot behind to express my anger at our visa system. I don't know why we have to act like such precocious dicks. I get that the UK is a highly desirable country to live and work in, and that there's a high chance that people will abscond from tourist visas and live here illegally, but how is the Schengen zone any different? Yet their visa process is 10 times less invasive, personal and humiliating than ours.

When I want to invite my Russian girlfriend to visit me in the UK we have to basically submit a portfolio of our lives. She needs to provide bank statements, employment records, financial and credit status, proof of ownership of residence. Then you need to prove the person you are inviting has a legit connection to you, so a photographic record spanning a few years etc etc. Then she normally has to go to an interview and get interrogated. It's so invasive and humiliating. Just so she can come and visit my parents and London for a couple of weeks.

She's been denied 2 visas and accepted for 1 visa despite all this. I guess they have some deep paranoia about non-millionaire unmarried young women visiting the UK or something...

Whereas when we wanted to get a visa to visit France, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Italy it's a bit of paperwork and a passport photo. I'm not sure why we are so special that we believe everyone in the world wants to live on our small island compared to those places...
>> No. 23034 Boyo
10th November 2014
Monday 1:06 pm
23034 spacer
>but how is the Schengen zone any different?
The reality doesn't matter, the impression people who want to live here illegally does, and that impression is that we're a soft touch. Hundreds of thousands of illegals a year speaks for itself, arrogance doesn't really come into it.
>> No. 23035 Fairy
10th November 2014
Monday 1:31 pm
23035 spacer
I'm dubious as to how changes in the visa system have actually helped though. If anything, it seems to have made it harder for everyone else and it is insanely stressful if you're trying to just be with your loved one. It's not good. This is why people (with partners in the EU, at least) were using the Surinder Singh route so much, and in comparison, it is so much easier.
>> No. 23036 Britfag
10th November 2014
Monday 1:35 pm
23036 spacer
>Hundreds of thousands of illegals a year
>> No. 23037 Boyo
10th November 2014
Monday 3:09 pm
23037 spacer
Yeah I know, but I couldn't be arsed to change it.
>> No. 23038 Cockernay
10th November 2014
Monday 5:25 pm
23038 spacer

The fact that she's Russian probably plays into it a lot, we don't have very good political relations with the Ruskies at the moment, we need tourist visas just to go there for a weekend and due to the way diplomatic reciprocity works any time one country tightens up entry rules for a country the other country does the same right back.

Interesting example: Americans going into Brazil need a tourist visa and get photos and fingerprints taken at the border just like happens to Brazilians in the US. Because the UK and Brazil have standard 90 day no visa tourist travel us Brits can just smile and walk right in.
>> No. 23039 Porridgewog
10th November 2014
Monday 7:09 pm
23039 spacer

I tried to post something similar earlier but my phone wouldn't let me.

It boggles my mind that someone who is in what is essentially a transcontinental relationship wouldn't be at least a journeyman in UK/Ruskie politics.
>> No. 23051 Raoul
11th November 2014
Tuesday 2:55 pm
23051 spacer

Well, In terms of British-Russian relations it is, as you say, mirrored in the visa policies. When the price of a British Visa rises, so does the price of a Russian one for Brits. I also hold an Irish passport, and they have significantly cheaper fees despite using the same processing centre in London, the same embassy and requiring the same documentation.

It's obvious from friends that the failure rate of Russians applying to visit the UK and the US has risen in the past 6 months, but my problems/issues go back to 2008 when the relationship between the UK and Russia was positively loved-up. I'm extremely switched on about the geopolitics of the UK in relation to Russia, I read everything about it in several newspapers (British and Russian) on a daily basis.

The issue - as I see it - isn't that Russians are especially punished, but that every non-European is treated terribly when they just want to apply for a tourist visa in comparison to equally rich, desirable, powerful places (say the EU). It's completely different from the issue of migration or residency - that is equally bad.

The hoops you have to jump through to get a migrant visa for a husband or wife is painful and destructive, and sadly at the end of the day (even after going through interrogations, recording all your metrics and volumes of paperwork) just comes down to money. I've come to the decision that I'd rather live abroad than have my partner believe that officialdom views her as a dodgy potential-criminal by default.
>> No. 23103 Fairy
22nd November 2014
Saturday 3:46 pm
23103 spacer

"They only have one chain of supermarkets"

So they don't have any lidl or aldis? That just seems odd
>> No. 23104 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 4:11 pm
23104 spacer

Middle East ex-pat here, hoping my vpn can stay unbanned for a little while, (please Green, you are the BEST).

Any, being a tax non dom is one form, make sure you don't leave any trace in UK that they can use to say you are resident (car, rental property in your name). I got a nice little rebate from my tax code too because I left half way through a year, if you are a boring cunt you might want to consider voluntary NI contributions, personally though, fuck that noise.

If you have a student loan, the tax people will tell them and they will want to access your overseas earnings (with proof), my HR director throws me together a (bullshit) stamped letter saying I earn 10,000 quid a year every year, I send them it and they send me one back saying I don't need to pay.

I open to enquirers on life in the igloo lands.


Is inchallah a thing now? I first heard it moving to ME yanni.
>> No. 23112 Clog
22nd November 2014
Saturday 8:07 pm
23112 spacer
They exist in the sense that British Home Stores exists. (Not many of them, far out of the way, and frequented by very few people.)
>> No. 23114 Clog
22nd November 2014
Saturday 8:25 pm
23114 spacer
Ah, this is smart - I presume you earn more than £10k and this letter is stretching the truth to avoid the SLC gouging?

Thanks for the tip, anyway.

Does voluntary NI contributions give you any benefit? Like access to the dole if you come home, or something similar?

And how do you enjoy the igloo lands, what are the big cultural differences to the UK?
>> No. 23116 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 8:42 pm
23116 spacer
SLC assessment of required earnings for where I live is a joke. The threshold for paying is less than UK while cost of living out here is way higher, so the truth must be stretched.

As far as I remember between 16 and 66 ( or whenever the fuck they let people retire now) you need a total of forty years worth of NI contributions to get max state pension.

Igloo lands are different, not always great, pretty repressed but there is an expat culture, mainly ITV watching, Daily Mail reading mid 20's twats in Media, PR, Real Estate, Events or advertising sales. Must not forget the fat middle aged oil workers and their shrew like wives and multinational prostitutes. Like many places, it would be better without the British/americans/aussies/sithifrican.

Shit loads of money swilling around though, less than 2 quid a pack of fags, fill your tank for a tenner. A pint does cost 8 quid, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Also there really, literally is no alternative culture, in either the normal sense or the /a/ sense.
>> No. 23118 Cockernay
22nd November 2014
Saturday 9:02 pm
23118 spacer

Sound like Saudi Arabia. I did a few stints out there six or so years ago. Everything was cheap as chips but the lack of alcohol and lack of women (I mean you literally do not see a woman the whole time you're there) really, really got to me after a while. I would get on a plane out of there and almost salivate over some middle aged trolley dolly serving the drinks "Jesus, I almost forgot that women existed".
>> No. 23119 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 9:08 pm
23119 spacer
Prime example of the kind of cunts mean see below.

This is a genuine voicemail doing the rounds lately left by a one of them on a girrls phone.

>> No. 23120 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 9:26 pm
23120 spacer

What is that he is saying at 0:18 and a couple of times later in the clip?

"...massively happy to give your ????????? to your pal Lauren"
>> No. 23121 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 9:32 pm
23121 spacer
Tom Ford's.

Either handbag or shoes it is assumed. Probably in the price range of 1-2 grand.
>> No. 23123 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 9:50 pm
23123 spacer

Cheers. I never even knew what a Tom Ford is before now.
>> No. 23125 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 10:01 pm
23125 spacer
>> No. 23126 Britfag
22nd November 2014
Saturday 10:03 pm
23126 spacer

Evolution ended in 1991 for Homo Sapiens. It's all a steady regression sped up.
>> No. 23129 Clog
23rd November 2014
Sunday 12:12 am
23129 spacer
The fuckers at the AA just charged me £70 odd quid to renew my breakdown cover despite being abroad. This will be a ballache to get refunded.

Any ideas for shortcuts saving me calling their 0870 number through Skype or some nonsense? Can I get my bank to do something? Or just write them a strongly worded letter?

(the cunts)
>> No. 23130 Fairy
23rd November 2014
Sunday 12:17 am
23130 spacer
Isn't it the case that you forgot to cancel what you knew was an auto-renewing subscription?
>> No. 23131 Aki
23rd November 2014
Sunday 12:27 am
23131 spacer
It may be the case that he forgot to cancel what he didn't know was an auto-renewing subscription.
>> No. 23132 Fairy
23rd November 2014
Sunday 12:34 am
23132 spacer
If only there was some interrogative form of communication we could employ to ascertain that.
>> No. 23133 Cockernay
23rd November 2014
Sunday 12:47 am
23133 spacer

It's most likely the case that he forgot to cancel what he will claim adamantly that he did not know was an auto-renewing subscription, though he signed a document (or provided a form of consent equivalent thereof) which almost certainly stated that it's an auto-renewing subscription.

The chances of him getting a refund will depend entirely on how many point he put into his Blagging Call Centre Drones stat. In cases like this you usually need at least a +7 to get on to a manager, and roll two D6 to see what kind of mood said manager is in.
>> No. 23134 Clog
23rd November 2014
Sunday 11:56 am
23134 spacer
Yes, indeed. After looking at their website, they send you a reminder letter 10 weeks before (10???). Anyway, I have moved house twice since then, so needless to say, I received no reminder letter.

Bugger. This will cost me a fortune in calls.
>> No. 23135 Gazza
23rd November 2014
Sunday 3:28 pm
23135 spacer
>proper weapon
Is this the original call from the Nathan Barley pilot before it was toned up to be totally fucking mexico?
>> No. 23136 Britfag
23rd November 2014
Sunday 4:38 pm
23136 spacer
There is a hack for it.

Be a horrible, horrible cunt to the drone, they tell the manager you are a horrible cunt. Manager doesn't actually want to talk to a horrible cunt. Be nice as pie to manager, sheer relief will put them in a great mood. Works every time.

Return ]

Delete Post []