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>> No. 22509 Kraut
25th July 2014
Friday 8:31 pm
22509 Your country's humour
Post examples of typical kinds of humour from your country.

I start:

In Germany, it is considered humorous to sing the following song
"Allee, Allee, Allee... eine Straße, viele Bäume, ja das ist eine Allee."
It's a word play regarding the similar sounds of olé/alé and Allee, which means alley.
Expand all images.
>> No. 22512 Britfag
25th July 2014
Friday 8:37 pm
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>> No. 22513 Cockernay
25th July 2014
Friday 8:38 pm
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Do you think the reason we don't get any Frog posters is because we get so many Kraut posters?
>> No. 22514 Gazza
25th July 2014
Friday 9:00 pm
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I think Krauts are insecure about Brits but the Frogs are terribly aloof.
>> No. 22515 Raoul
25th July 2014
Friday 9:06 pm
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I feel I must apologise for the conduct of my nation in the war!
>> No. 22516 Aki
25th July 2014
Friday 9:14 pm
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Based o my scienctific modelling of Krautchan posts the Latins in general tend to steer clear of English Internet, except south Americans.
>> No. 22517 Cockernay
25th July 2014
Friday 9:53 pm
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It's because French people are shit at English and more nationalist and inward looking than Yanks.
>> No. 22518 Monkey
25th July 2014
Friday 10:09 pm
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I can just about accept the frogs are more insular than Americans, but I refuse to believe they are worse at English.
>> No. 22524 Kraut
26th July 2014
Saturday 10:53 am
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Indeed you should.
>> No. 22642 Garlicfag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 10:15 am
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I thought Frogs were forbidden to post on here. At least it was the case last time I tried.
>> No. 22643 Kraut
6th August 2014
Wednesday 1:10 pm
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Not funny.
>> No. 22644 Vodkafag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 1:39 pm
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All Brits should enjoy the dour, bleak, sarcastic and fatalistic attitude in Soviet jokes. You can find some of the best at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_political_jokes .

Obviously there aren't any jokes about the current regime, as they are considered treasonable offences and penalised by life in jail and/or your own personalised mysterious disappearance.

Comrade Brezhnev, is it true that you collect political jokes?" – "Yes" – "And how many have you collected so far?" – "Three and a half labor camps.

In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes. "What did they arrest you for?" asks the first. "Was it a political or common crime?" "Of course it was political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me seven years.

Dad, can I have the car keys?" / "OK, but don't lose them. We will get the car in only seven years!
>> No. 22645 Raoul
6th August 2014
Wednesday 1:39 pm
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At least you're honest about your shortcomings.
>> No. 22646 Garlicfag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 2:13 pm
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I think Henning Wehn is pretty funny.

>> No. 22647 Cockernay
6th August 2014
Wednesday 2:20 pm
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I can't even remember why we had a blanket ban on foreigners posting. Was it Russians and porn spamming?
>> No. 22648 Raoul
6th August 2014
Wednesday 3:09 pm
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Yeah they like to flood boards occasionally.
>> No. 22649 Grockle
6th August 2014
Wednesday 3:35 pm
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I am laughing endlessly at this one:

Three men are sitting in a cell in the (KGB headquarters) Dzerzhinsky Square. The first asks the second why he has been imprisoned, who replies, "Because I criticized Karl Radek." The first man responds, "But I am here because I spoke out in favor of Radek!" They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him why he is in jail. He answers, "I'm Karl Radek."
>> No. 22650 Raoul
6th August 2014
Wednesday 4:10 pm
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I enjoyed
>An American man and a Soviet man died on the same day and went to Hell together. The Devil told them: "You may choose to enter two different types of Hell: the first is the American-style one, where you can do anything you like, but only on condition of eating a bucketful of manure every day; the second is the Soviet-style hell, where you can ALSO do anything you like, but only on condition of eating TWO bucketfuls of manure a day." The American chose the American-style Hell, and the Soviet man chose the Soviet-style one. A few months later, they met again. The Soviet man asked the American: "Hi, how are you getting on?" The American said: "I'm fine, but I can't stand the bucketful of manure every day. How about you?" The Soviet man replied: "Well, I'm fine, too, except that I don't know whether we had a shortage of manure, or if somebody stole all the buckets."
but don't Russians make jokes about anything other than politics? Maybe those would be lost on us.
>> No. 22651 Grockle
6th August 2014
Wednesday 4:33 pm
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I've heard a few other Russian jokes - incomprehensible tales about bears being depressed in the forest. You've aroused my curiousity now, but my google-fu is too weak to bring anything up.
>> No. 22652 Garlicfag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 5:26 pm
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I used to know a Russian lass who once told me a Russian joke with the Ukrainians being the butt of it. Basically;

3 people are each given 100 apples. A French man, a German and a Ukrainian.

The French man takes the apples and turns them into a cider, so every can get drunk and have a good time.

The German takes the apples and distributes them evenly to the people.

The Ukranian takes the apples and takes a bite out of each one, then he says 'Now no one can have them'.

At which point she started laughing like a fucking maniac.

I didn't get it but found her reaction quite amusing. I never saw them but she was quite small chested and apparently had MASSIVE nipples.
>> No. 22653 Garlicfag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 5:27 pm
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Uggh, sorry for the poor format.
>> No. 22654 Porridgewog
6th August 2014
Wednesday 5:48 pm
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The Russian gives his party the mandated 99 and 3/4 apples and most of his family starves because they only have a quarter of an apple left between them for the year.

The American looks at the apples and wonders what they are. He proceeds to eat his pizza, which counts as one of his five fruit and veg a day thanks to recent legislation.

The Scotsman eats one of the apples and makes an exaggerated show of spitting it out and calling the person who gave him the apples a fucking queer loudly. He then glasses him while screaming the mantra "GLASGAE' RULES CUNT!"

I've always wanted to be thick, racism is just so easy to do and is an excellent bonding tool for stupid people.
>> No. 22655 Monkey
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:28 pm
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>The Ukranian takes the apples and takes a bite out of each one, then he says 'Now no one can have them'.
Ironic that should be a Russian joke, since that's basically Russian military doctrine.

Do you people ever fuck off?
>> No. 22656 Britfag
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:31 pm
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Woah lad, what's all this about?

Stop being such a cunt.
>> No. 22657 Raoul
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:34 pm
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>I'm so much better than the evul racisms, everyone look at how much better I am. I'm so clever, they're so dumb haha
>> No. 22658 Porridgewog
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:40 pm
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I'm sorry that I offended you.
>> No. 22659 Stalin
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:42 pm
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I'll ask some friends (not a native) for some non-political ones, and try to report back.

Comedy isn't that big a thing here at all, except for this one show which is basically a cross between The Generation Game, Who's Line is it Anyway and the Premier League. It's like something the Germans would invent - (fake) impromptu competitive comedy where teams compete under very strict rules to win points from judges and rise within a series of leagues. On TV.

>> No. 22668 Garlicfag
7th August 2014
Thursday 9:42 am
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>The programme was first aired by the First Soviet Channel on November 8, 1961

For Mother Russia!
>> No. 22807 Trotsky
7th September 2014
Sunday 11:57 am
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the thing is, jokes are not so good (because of very VERY bad humor on tv our people cant into fine jokes)
>> No. 22810 Chink
7th September 2014
Sunday 12:27 pm
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Your description of this programme was compelling enough that I bookmarked an episode of this on youtube, but I never found the time to watch it. Probably for the best.

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