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>> No. 22509 Kraut
25th July 2014
Friday 8:31 pm
22509 Your country's humour
Post examples of typical kinds of humour from your country.

I start:

In Germany, it is considered humorous to sing the following song
"Allee, Allee, Allee... eine Straße, viele Bäume, ja das ist eine Allee."
It's a word play regarding the similar sounds of olé/alé and Allee, which means alley.
24 posts and 4 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 22658 Porridgewog
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:40 pm
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>>22657

I'm sorry that I offended you.
>> No. 22659 Stalin
6th August 2014
Wednesday 6:42 pm
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>>22651

I'll ask some friends (not a native) for some non-political ones, and try to report back.


Comedy isn't that big a thing here at all, except for this one show which is basically a cross between The Generation Game, Who's Line is it Anyway and the Premier League. It's like something the Germans would invent - (fake) impromptu competitive comedy where teams compete under very strict rules to win points from judges and rise within a series of leagues. On TV.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KVN
>> No. 22668 Garlicfag
7th August 2014
Thursday 9:42 am
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>>22659

>The programme was first aired by the First Soviet Channel on November 8, 1961

For Mother Russia!
>> No. 22807 Trotsky
7th September 2014
Sunday 11:57 am
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the thing is, jokes are not so good (because of very VERY bad humor on tv our people cant into fine jokes)
>> No. 22810 Chink
7th September 2014
Sunday 12:27 pm
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>>22659

Your description of this programme was compelling enough that I bookmarked an episode of this on youtube, but I never found the time to watch it. Probably for the best.

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>> No. 21252 Cockernay
11th August 2013
Sunday 1:00 pm
21252 spacer
Is it true that average-looking autismal 20-something virgins living in the West can easily get laid if they travel to East Asia?
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>> No. 22691 Kraut
23rd August 2014
Saturday 1:58 pm
22691 spacer
>>22689
>Russian bird

Better get a thai or a jap.
>> No. 22692 Fairy
23rd August 2014
Saturday 2:58 pm
22692 spacer
>>22691

Not a Thai bird, they all chew their nails.
>> No. 22693 Aki
23rd August 2014
Saturday 4:51 pm
22693 spacer
>>22692
If she can reach her fingers then you didn't Thai her up properly.
>> No. 22694 Rasputin
23rd August 2014
Saturday 6:59 pm
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>>22691

You have no idea....
>> No. 22806 Rasputin
7th September 2014
Sunday 11:45 am
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>>22691
in Thailand there's a high possibility to bump into transsexual guy, check the neck for Adam's apple
in Russia... well, whores are pig disgusting, but you can get yourself a nice girl, although recently there's a bit less really nice girls and a bit more brainless but cute girls. also for some reason a lot of people have very poor english

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>> No. 22726 Kraut
30th August 2014
Saturday 12:19 pm
22726 German Industry Representative
Why don't you buy a Mercedes-Benz camper van and start living in it?
20 posts and 9 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 22767 Clog
31st August 2014
Sunday 10:39 am
22767 spacer
because i don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.
>> No. 22768 Clog
31st August 2014
Sunday 10:46 am
22768 spacer
>>22767
Why not?
>> No. 22769 Kraut
31st August 2014
Sunday 1:43 pm
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>>22763
Well, for one thing, these campervans usually do not include toilets/showers, which might be a problem, unless you are french.
>> No. 22770 Gasthief
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:28 pm
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>>22741
Garlicfag?
>> No. 22772 Garlicfag
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:39 pm
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>>22770
Yeh, I'm in China.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garlic#Production_trends

nǐ hǎo!

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>> No. 22722 Kraut
30th August 2014
Saturday 8:37 am
22722 spacer
Why didn't declare France war on Russia, when they invaded Poland, too?

This is really confusing.
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>> No. 22757 Britfag
30th August 2014
Saturday 10:17 pm
22757 spacer
>>22755

Voetsek. Vokken doos.
>> No. 22758 Raoul
30th August 2014
Saturday 10:22 pm
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>>22757
Get yerself a Z3, you doof.
>> No. 22759 Britfag
30th August 2014
Saturday 10:41 pm
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>>22758

Voetsek joi naai
>> No. 22760 Gazza
30th August 2014
Saturday 10:48 pm
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>>22759
Go home Eugene, you're drunk and also supposed to be dead.
>> No. 22761 Clog
30th August 2014
Saturday 10:57 pm
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>>22757
>>22758
Jy is baie snaaks.

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>> No. 22672 Aki
10th August 2014
Sunday 12:03 pm
22672 spacer
What's the best online resource to learn English?

Something with interactive videos and exercises (fill in the gaps) would be a bonus.
4 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 22677 Britfag
10th August 2014
Sunday 3:05 pm
22677 spacer
Go down to your local youth centre and fraternise with the hoodlums.
>> No. 22678 Gazza
10th August 2014
Sunday 3:28 pm
22678 spacer
>>22674
>>22673

It's not for me but for an elderly relative.

>>22675
Mine's English, theirs is Indo-European of South Asian origin.

>>22676
They've had enough of ESOL and being somewhat mobility impaired, online is the best solution.
>> No. 22706 Monkey
24th August 2014
Sunday 1:55 am
22706 spacer
Because nobody else has posted a link to an actual online resource.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqDSLtXeZsGc3dtVb5MW13g
>> No. 22721 Garlicfag
24th August 2014
Sunday 10:49 am
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>>22706
I'll one up you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw2bTpyHGCE
>> No. 22754 Spaghettihead
30th August 2014
Saturday 9:32 pm
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Have you ever tried to speak gesturing animatedly and dramatically with your arms?

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>> No. 22696 Fairy
23rd August 2014
Saturday 11:07 pm
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Why do British people care so little about Canada? I don't think I ever heard Canada be mocked by our comedians, especially how they love to mock our former colonies. Hell, most people I know don't even know Canada is an English-Speaking country that was colonized by the British.

That being said, I also notice that Canadians tend to hate us with a burning passion. Why do you think this is?
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>> No. 22716 Raoul
24th August 2014
Sunday 5:11 am
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>>22715
Surely the stereotype for Canadians is that they're Americans but without all the annoying American bits.
>> No. 22717 Cockernay
24th August 2014
Sunday 7:37 am
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>>22716

Yeah, but that's not very funny or interesting.
>> No. 22718 Rasputin
24th August 2014
Sunday 9:53 am
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>>22715

There's also nothing to be gained from belittling them. They don't hold a position of emotional importance for any part of the population. People don't know enough about the country to all have common cultural/social references. It's a bit of a surprise for such a close cultural country (Commonwealth, English-speaking, NHS style policies), but doing jokes about Canada would have the same understanding in a British audience as jokes about Botswanans or Surinamese.

Having a pop at our old rivals (the Scottish, French, Americans) or our current sporting rivals (Aussies) is very satisfying and makes you feel smug, as well as a rich vein of content.
>> No. 22719 Raoul
24th August 2014
Sunday 10:43 am
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>>22696
>Why don't we hate each other enough
What a mystery, everyone knows two randomly-selected nations have to have some animosity between them.
>> No. 22720 Garlicfag
24th August 2014
Sunday 10:47 am
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>>22719
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

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>> No. 22679 Kraut
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:21 pm
22679 spacer
What do you think about interracial marriage?
1 post omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 22681 Porridgewog
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:25 pm
22681 spacer
>>22680

Or more if they are so inclined or self identify as more than one race.
>> No. 22682 Pornstar
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:29 pm
22682 spacer
Nothing.
>> No. 22683 Fairy
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:33 pm
22683 spacer
The parents of my Indian girlfriend won't be too happy if this scrawny excuse of white flesh gets all matrimonial with their daughter.

So speaking from a strictly non-partisan standpoint, I don't have a problem with it.
>> No. 22684 Cockernay
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:33 pm
22684 spacer
>>22679

Fine by me.

Although the marriage between a disgusting monster and a human being depicted in your picture is a bit jarring.
>> No. 22685 Garlicfag
19th August 2014
Tuesday 8:59 pm
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>>22679

Dey turk err jerbs!

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>> No. 22661 Kraut
6th August 2014
Wednesday 7:46 pm
22661 German-engineered joke:
How many poles can you fit into a VW Beetle?
Two in the back, the front seats are occupied by the police officers.
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>> No. 22662 Aki
6th August 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
22662 spacer
>>22661
How do you get two whales in a VW Beetle?
Cross the Severn Bridge.

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>> No. 22622 Angela
3rd August 2014
Sunday 6:24 pm
22622 spacer
Just invested 4000 EUR in some bonds

Ask anything

(A good day to you Sir!)
1 post omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 22625 Angela
3rd August 2014
Sunday 6:58 pm
22625 spacer
>>22623
In yer mam's cunt
>> No. 22626 Garlicfag
3rd August 2014
Sunday 7:11 pm
22626 spacer
>>22625
Edgy!
>> No. 22627 Britfag
3rd August 2014
Sunday 8:10 pm
22627 spacer
What bonds?
>> No. 22628 Raoul
3rd August 2014
Sunday 9:25 pm
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>>22627

If it's Premium Bonds, I wish you all the best. I certainly wouldn't mind winning a million quid.
>> No. 22870 Cuckoo
17th September 2014
Wednesday 6:38 pm
22870 spacer
>>22627

Indeed, don't make us ask the details without which your post is obviously pointless.

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>> No. 22580 Kraut
1st August 2014
Friday 6:38 pm
22580 ITT: Gratitude
In this thread, we thank nations for an inventions of theirs.

I start:

Greece, I thnk you for zaziki. It's probably the greatest invention that you ever made and it is really very tasty.
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>> No. 22618 Kraut
3rd August 2014
Sunday 11:21 am
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>>22617
Could be...
>> No. 22619 Cockernay
3rd August 2014
Sunday 11:40 am
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>>22618

Then of course you've got "bintroid".

And post more cycling booty, Neanderthal.
>> No. 22620 Kraut
3rd August 2014
Sunday 1:53 pm
22620 spacer
>>22619
>Neanderthal

That's a bit rude, buddy.
>> No. 22621 Cockernay
3rd August 2014
Sunday 2:03 pm
22621 spacer
>>22619

I'd love my own German cycling booty Bintroid.
>> No. 22624 Britfag
3rd August 2014
Sunday 6:49 pm
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>>22619

She's a speed skater m8.

Also she looks a bit like a transsexual (not that I object).

https://www.youtube.com/v/C7N5Jjt_Czs

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>> No. 22539 Dubya
29th July 2014
Tuesday 4:49 am
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http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/28/politics/us-russia-missile-treaty/


This is the buildup to WW3. Trust.
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>> No. 22543 Raoul
30th July 2014
Wednesday 7:35 pm
22543 spacer
>>22540

>101 years after the last Great War
>there

Do you think this is a fucking game?
>> No. 22544 Cockernay
30th July 2014
Wednesday 8:01 pm
22544 spacer
>>22543

It was 5AM and on /zoo/, so yes I do.
>> No. 22550 Cockernay
31st July 2014
Thursday 8:40 pm
22550 spacer
>>22542

I'm still imagining it in the Bastard's voice.

>One 'undred un won yerrs aftah the orpenin of anothah greet wohrrr...
>> No. 22553 Cockernay
31st July 2014
Thursday 8:55 pm
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>>22550

Why is the Bastard eating toffee during a take? What a shoddy actor.
>> No. 22555 Cockernay
31st July 2014
Thursday 9:54 pm
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>>22553

How do you think he gets his trademark gawp?

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>> No. 22545 Britfag
30th July 2014
Wednesday 11:42 pm
22545 spacer
Why is England dominant, just so much more better, in every way, compared to all the other home nations?
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>> No. 22546 Garlicfag
30th July 2014
Wednesday 11:53 pm
22546 spacer
Yeh, give me an English glass of scotch any day. Johnnie Youwhatm8, White Label
>> No. 22547 Redneck
31st July 2014
Thursday 12:13 am
22547 spacer
>>22546

http://www.englishwhisky.co.uk/
>> No. 22548 Fairy
31st July 2014
Thursday 12:23 am
22548 spacer
>>22545
>just so much more better

For shame lad, and your punctuation's decidely shonky as well. Poor show all round.

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>> No. 22525 Kraut
26th July 2014
Saturday 3:55 pm
22525 spacer
You should all watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU1oONLlDVg
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>> No. 22534 Kraut
26th July 2014
Saturday 7:42 pm
22534 spacer
>>22532
Like which ones?
>> No. 22535 Cowboy
26th July 2014
Saturday 8:03 pm
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>>22534

BBC's Eldorado?
>> No. 22536 Britfag
26th July 2014
Saturday 8:37 pm
22536 spacer
>>22527
You're the cunt. Can't a man be picky about video quality?
>> No. 22537 Redneck
26th July 2014
Saturday 9:28 pm
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>>22534

La Haine, A Prophet, Sweet Sixteen, Skins etc
>> No. 22538 Raoul
27th July 2014
Sunday 8:48 am
22538 spacer
>>22537
Are you talking about this film?

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1213205-prophet/

Good taste.

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>> No. 22302 Kraut
14th June 2014
Saturday 1:46 pm
22302 spacer
So, lads, who's gonna be Football World Champion this year?
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>> No. 22511 Cockernay
25th July 2014
Friday 8:36 pm
22511 spacer
Stop bumping this thread, Saoirsa... Soarsha... Serscha... erm, that Irish lady is so pretty it makes me sad.
>> No. 22519 Britfag
25th July 2014
Friday 11:36 pm
22519 spacer
>>22511
She is fat now.
>> No. 22520 Cockernay
25th July 2014
Friday 11:38 pm
22520 spacer
>>22519

My interest is piqued. Post pics.
>> No. 22522 Britfag
26th July 2014
Saturday 12:08 am
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>>22520
>> No. 22523 Cockernay
26th July 2014
Saturday 12:23 am
22523 spacer
>>22522

Your lies have hardened my heart and lessened my faith :/

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