>>13208
Violife actually melts quite well though, one of the best of the vegan cheeses in that respect - in the oven you can make a decent toasted cheese sandwich and if you use the slices on a burger (Beyond Meat obvs) it makes a very good cheeseburger indeed.

I'll have a look for it, cheers.

>>27320

Well, tits. I'll wait it out. Thanks lad.

>>27318

Lol what are you doing here mate? It says up at the top "No Faggotry"

take it into a repair shop and quit shitposting

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>27318
Is this /g/'s own version of helmetlad?

>>27368

Who on earth is helmetlad?

Also, I had my laptop fixed by someone else, who replaced the motherboard.

>>27369
>>/emo/29163

There's a lot of bullshit on the UK scene right now, but slowthai is legit. You could argue that Dave is conforming to the critics, but slowthai is just too fucking weird for all that.

Oh, it's the l at the end.

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

>>8867
As a Bi-lad I am offended by women thinking that only they're allowed to be offended by men and lesbians talking about football.

>>8875
In a healthy office culture you have a balance of men and women, it stops being a problem, the men talk about football and the women talk about love island or soaps or whatever and they all banter with each other quite happily.
It becomes a problem when you have one or two women in an office full of men, and also when you have one or two men in an office full of women.
Banning people from talking about sports in the office is just sticking a plaster over the underlying problem.

>>8882

Your sexuality has to be in the LGBT community to have your opinions taken seriously.

>>8882
>It becomes a problem when you have one or two women in an office full of men, and also when you have one or two men in an office full of women.
I mean, this is just a nightmare scenario either way. I used to travel a lot doing IT work out of a bunch of different offices and the most unpleasant/dysfunctional were always one extreme or the other.

On topic, this woman is stupid and her suggestions are unhelpful. You can't stop people from talking about their hobbies, and any attempt to do so would have a profoundly negative effect on most workplaces.

He'll have to hold it with his mouth.

>>2575
Cats don't write. They have human servants for that.

My cat's stolen my pen before. I assumed he just wanted to play with it.

>>2579
Well in fact he was writing the first draft of his novel, and is now a published author.

Get some masking tape.
Cut 4 lengths each about a foot long.
Stick them to the carpet in the shape of a square.
Cat will sit in it.

>>21079

>"Allegedly" coppers are given targets for arresting a certain number of people to arrest per week

I've never bought that one, it doesn't seem to make much sense, since arresting loads of people is expensive.

>>21080

Every copper I've spoken to says that being stuck at a custody suite is the least favourite part of their job. Beat coppers have no lack of ways to skive off, most of which are far more interesting than babysitting an arsehole and filling out forms.

>>21081

The targets were brought in under Labour and scrapped under Cameron but the senior police officers loyal to Labour kept them in place anyway. I'm a Labout voter.

To clear up the issue of legality the police can do what they want internally unless instructed to the contrary. If targets are X then under labour they were instructed to have X, under Cameron they were instructed they no longer need to have X but they decided to keep it under a different name anyway.

This was big years ago, I don't know if the senior management of the popo was purged by May or Johnson and they've fixed the targets issue but I haven't heard of the targets being scrapped so I assume they're still there.

pigs

I thought it was just the Japanese doing all the crazy shit in Asia.

LOOK AT THE FILTHY BITCH. I BET THAT'S WHAT SHE'S INTO.

Top universities ‘not being chosen by low-income students’

Poorer students with good A-level grades are significantly more likely to opt for less prestigious universities than those with similar results from more advantaged backgrounds.

This is the standout finding from major research that throws into question how effective higher education is in equalising opportunities.

Successive governments have spent heavily to encourage disadvantaged students to go to university. The Office for Students in England recently set ambitious targets for wider access. But a team at the UCL Institute of Education say their research, published by the Centre for Economic Performance, throws into question whether simply getting poor students into university is enough.

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2020/jan/26/poorer-students-opt-less-prestigious-universities

Not at all surprising, given that research has found many state school teachers have misconceptions about Oxbridge and don't encourage their brightest students to apply there.

>>88958
I probably I know but won't admit am not smart enough to have done the whole Oxbridge thing but as a state school kid who smashed straight As and A*s at GCSE with no tutoring or anything like that and then was predicted to smash As at A-level nobody even said to me 'consider oxbridge'.

I basically thought if I was good enough they'd have told me, so I didn't bother. Not that it changed much but the biggest shock now I'm in the working world mixing with all these people is not how private school kids are smarter than state school kids, other than knowing more obscure antiquities references I find they're not, it's how much more confidence and self belief they have in themselves. They might be the least qualified person in the room on a topic but they'll talk like they have a god given right to be there.

This isn't a criticism either, how do we get state schools to instill this sort of belief?

>>88959
Noticing as I hit submit I've added an extra 'l' onto instil so Oxford were right not to consider me all along.

>>88959
I was selected for the Young, Gifted & Talented programme, which meant trips to the local university, events with kids from other schools in the area and starting AS Maths when I was in Year 10. The importance of going to university was regularly drummed home but I can't remember a single conversation about the importance of what you study and where; I reckon sitting down with someone for half an hour to actually go through that would have been far more useful than the actual programme itself.

Not once can I remember a teacher or anyone else talking to me in a meaningful was about university. I'm doing fairly alright for myself, but nobody I know went to a 'prestigious' university and most are stuck in dead-end jobs over 10 years since graduating.

I wouldn't be surprised if the children of my peer group end up going to top universities seeing as their parents experienced the pitfalls of the system and should now know how to navigate it.

>>88961
At least yours did something, they basically just told us several times that we were in the group and told us not to let our grades job.

In hindsight I did think there was probably meant to be a lot more they slacked on.

>>27361
It's really, really not.

>>27362

Yes it is. It just comes back after every update.

There's many different ways to automate the process though.

Okay now I'm on Win 10. How do I get rid of all the spyware?

It's disabled my headphones somehow.

>>27364
I use ShutUp10, it's got quite fine-grained control over various privacy-related settings, but it needs to be run after each update. There's probably an auto-updating solution.

>>29457

My ex still calls emergency vehicles "nee naws" as in, oh, pull over, here come the nee naws.

It was sort of funny but mostly very odd.

>>29458

I was just thinking their cultural literacy must be as impressive as whoever thought [word redacted because I just got banned for an hour for posting it] was a good name for Woolworths kids beds. It's not like when you used to see accidentally goatse-looking logos and think oh well, the designer's just oblivious to memes. That was a bit enviable.

>>29460

Maybe someone at Cummings just thought it was finally time to address the company name with a little nod.

>>29456

>>27716
I used to read a trade mag called Computing. They had a long-running gag about "black women with routers". And it was true, almost without fail every advert for a router used to have a very happy-looking black woman holding it.

>>23010
Get it for a month, watch everything you want and then sack it off. There's little point having a monthly subscription with any of the streaming services.

>>23015

Normal people have friends.

>>23016
I, for one, don't even own a friend.

>>23015
There's got to be at least one to two dozen box sets worth watching. You can't do that in a month if you're an adult.

>>23018
Perhaps two months then. There isn't that much good content on Netflix, especially once you've got through the likes of It's Always Sunny, and certainly not enough to warrant subscribing to it continually over sporadically dipping in and out.

>>64814
We should raise that to 60% before rejoining the EU and letting Johnny Foreigner back in to harvest our vegetables.

I ask people "why?" when they've said some stupid shite and are clearly too much of a braindead pissbaby to back it up with anything substantive. Not me in the workout thread though, but that too seems like quite a reasonable use of the question "why?", given that the badgrammarlad just sort of told him to do something contrary to the advice of others with no real insight into, well, why.

>>15259
Not seen this, but I would certainly like to subscribe to your newsletter. We have been hit with just as many bots and astroturfing as anyone else.

>>15262

>astroturfing

SHueley not?!

Oh tell me why...
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why...
Are the castles way up high
Please tell me why...
Do we build castles in the sky?
Oh tell me why...
Are the castles way up high

>>15259
Why?

>>64809
No need to have a teary, mate.

Lads, I'm going to reserve judgment on Planet of the Apes until I've seen it, but I think it's really unlikely for astronauts to go into space and then just happen to land on a planet where apes and humans have their roles reversed but are otherwise exactly the same as on Earth, and not only that but speak English too.

Like I said I'll reserve judgement until I see it but I understand why this heavy-handed metaphor just doesn't land because it stretches the bounds of believability.

>>64811

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a30456703/1917-movie-based-on-true-story/
>1917 Is Based On a Harrowing True WWI Story From Director Sam Mendes's Grandfather

https://inews.co.uk/culture/film/1917-true-story-film-historical-accuracy-first-world-war-sam-mendes-accuracy-explained-1358467
>1917 is something of a true story, loosely based on a tale the director's grandfather - Alfred H. Mendes, who served with the British Army during the First World War - told him as a child.

http://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/1917/
>Though much of the World War I movie 1917 is fiction, it is loosely based on an account that director Sam Mendes' paternal grandfather, Alfred Mendes, told to him when he was a boy.

Some bloke down the pub.
>No mate for the last time Planet of the Primates of Hair was not based on a true story, now fuck off, you're barred.

My hairdresser.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>64812
>PLANET OF THE PRIMATES OF HAIR

These word filters are getting out of hand.

So, true to my word I went to see 1917 so i can pass judgement on it.

fucking great film actually, i can only fault it for one slow scene that felt somewhat forced in the middle of an otherwise consistently tense runtime. even the two chavs in the back corner of the cinema shut their gobs after five minutes and i'm convinced i heard one of them sniffling in the emotional bits.

as for our out of place sikh, it really wasn't distracting from the film. he is dressed in regular tommy attire, but he's clearly shown as a foreigner with basic english and one of the other lads even gives him a jibe about barely knowing the language. i've not bothered googling it to see how many sikhs there actually were in british regiments as opposed to colonials, but in this film it didn't feel out of place. it could have been done badly, but it wasn't.

>>4982
Citalopram, 40mg.

Update:
Still going cold turkey on it. Mood swing yesterday evening over something trivial followed by a bit of an existential meltdown and an early night. Could've easily got quite nasty the missus managed to calm me down.

Doctor's appt scheduled for Monday afternoon and a preliminary session with a counselor set for Wednesday.

>>4985

I can't recommend going cold turkey, for reasons you (and your missus) are becoming aware. You'll feel pretty fucking grim for several weeks, because your serotonin system is going absolutely haywire. If you can't bear to go back on the full 40mg, I'd suggest at least splitting them to 20mg until you can see a doctor and sort out a tapering-off regimen.

>>4986

Saw my delightfully MILFy GP on Monday and she wasn't too enthused about me going cold turkey but didn't give me a bollocking either.

Funnily enough she'd just come over from the Oxford trust that was trialing the s-ketamine and we talked about it a little. She was keen to try something more out of the box for me (i.e. not SSRIs) and we discussed my options. I'm starting on 37.mg (70mg/day) venlafaxine, Easing into it with just the evening dose for the first week and then going all-in. If either of you have any experience with it, I'd love to hear it.

Counselling in a few hours. First time jumping back in for two years. At £50/hr it better blow my fucking bollocks off because at this point I don't think I'd handle it well if not.

I appreciate the kind words and guidance.

>>4989
I was on venlafaxine for a few months, it did make a positive difference but it raised my blood pressure so my GP took me off it.

>>4989

I was on it for almost a year I think? Think it was the same dosage too. It killed my sex drive, but that's naturally freakish so I was still able to have sex etc, I just didn't feel horny and stopped masturbating every day, maybe once a week ish.

If I took it on an empty stomach, I'd start sweating profusely until I threw up. I used this to get out of work once. Scary the first time but then realised it was just a thing.

When I came off it cold turkey, I felt okay but in day to day life...it's hard to describe, I think everyone's experienced it, but it was like a disorientation where say, whenever I moved my head and field of vision, it felt like it took my brain a few fractions of a second to catch up. Stepping off the pavement onto the road it felt like my perception of things was bouncing.

That wasn't constant, but it happened daily.

Other than that, I think it really helped me from topping myself when I was losing my job, had my mum tell me she didn't care any more over the phone, and was losing my girlfriend. Managed to salvage all of that while I was taking it.

Good luck mate, hope it works out for you.

>>433577
Loads of people have them at work, in boxes. I'm going to have to fucking try one now.

>>433581

Thank you for your custom. Have a Hueeeeeeeeeeeeellicious day good sir!

>>433512
Doesn't matter if your hands are pristine after the wash up, you still need to tackle the pull to open door.

>>433875

I wouldn't put my tackle anywhere near a public door handle.

I think the point that >>433543 is trying to make, correct me if I'm wrong, is that, if urine is sterile with the exception of skin flora, then dipping your hand in a bucket of piss is no more dangerous than scratching your armpit or shaking hands with someone sweaty.

>>7079

Wasn't House of Leaves based on a similar idea?

>>7082
They're both terribly gimmicky but at least HoL doesn't come with faux-aged looking pop-out bullshit.

>>7081
I hope you manage to stay awake long enough to enjoy it, it's a good book. Wise Children is probably more easy reading, in my opinion.

>>7079
I got up to finishing the introduction, because it was like reading notes on a lecture. Then the novel proper began and I got bored trying to keep track of the two parallel stories happening to the protagonist and the margin-scribblers.

I think it's the most effort-intensive book I've ever read, starting with having to remove it from the separate sleeve it comes in, to dealing with all the inserts and a fucking code-wheel, to not only reading two stories at once but keeping track of the colour of the ink they use in order to date precisely when in the story they are writing the note. Christ.

>>7082

I remember people I sort of respected posting on facebook that HOL was the most mind-fucking book they'd ever read. I didn't read it, but I also wasn't sure what to make of such a statement.

>>7079
>conceived by J. J. Abrams

I guess that tallies up with all the posts calling it gimmicky bullshit.

>>4848
What did you think ectoplasm was?

>>4846
I've always been annoyed that you never have ghosts from other places and times turn up. It's always a Victorian ghost living in a Victorian house and partaking in the Victorian pastime of standing at the top of the stairs. They don't even seem to associate with other ghosts.

I'm not so much annoyed as disappointed.

>>4850
You raise a good point. Where are the caveman ghosts?

>>4851
Caves.

Hang around womens changing rooms and that. Spy on what Boris looks like having a shufty. Try to force myself into being a poltergeist so that I could throw silver cutlery at the queen's arse while she's getting out of the bath. That kind of thing.

I used to fantasise about owning proper arcade machines when I had my own place as well as the money. Then I worked in a venue with lots of arcade machines and they seem like a total ballache. Always breaking down, one of them even ransomly set on fire. If I was more technically minded I would probably enjoy the challenge, so kudos those willing to put the work in.

>>23196

There are loads of arcade venues opening up these days, usually offering free play machines with a fixed admission fee. If you're anywhere near Manchester, Arcade Club in Bury has a truly exceptional collection of vintage and modern cabinets.

https://www.arcadeclub.co.uk/

Would you be able to recommend anywhere in London that has a decent retro arcade, OP? Bonus points if it has some pinball tables too.

>>23285

AFAIK Heart of Gaming in Croydon is the last remaining proper arcade in the big smoke. Flip Out (also in Croydon) have a huge selection of pinball tables, but check the opening times.

>>23286

Used to go every few months when it was in Acton and I lived in Newcastle, then went by one time and it was just gone. Was a bit heartbroken, so glad to hear it reopened recently. Heading there in the next few weeks.

Are you part of the community? I was always too shy to speak to people but it seemed like loads of people knew each other and had a lovely atmosphere.

Mate, a lot of parents from our generation were incredibly unhealthy and clueless, your case seems exceptionally so. For your mother, it is probably coming across as re-traumatising. This is how they work; fall out, forget about it, try again a few days later and keep their head in the sand.

It doesn’t really matter how safe you make it for her (forgiveness, etc.) because she does not want to go there. It’s like trying to get someone that hates France to go to France— even if you promise fried breakfasts and brits as far as the eye can see, most won’t go.

I can’t imagine the weight of my mother’s guilt about what I endured, and I feel like even admitting that it was all her fault would destroy her. Uninspiring as it is, it’s been more fruitful for me to accept that she isn’t going to change and to stop forcing it.

I’m sure mine will never change and I’m not putting my affairs on hold waiting for her.

>>29322
>It’s like trying to get someone that hates France to go to France— even if you promise fried breakfasts and brits as far as the eye can see, most won’t go.
What.

>>29323

I thought it was a good analogy.

>>29324

It's a reasonable analogy to be coming up with at ten to seven in the morning I'll grant.

>>29320
>>29321
>>29322

I have seen some courtroom trials. Common criminals tend to be proud of their crimes, or to tell some bullcrap story. Child abusers and abusive parents, instead, deny their crimes with the utmost vehemence. When presented with solid proofs, they usually pretend to faint or to have an heart attack, only to be taken to the hospital and having their sentence read to them later. Later, they claim that they were set up and that the proofs did not exist or were falsified.

Memory is a survival tool, not just a recording. If some of your memories will imply that you are a total piece of shit that deserves to be flayed alive, you will delete those memories. On the contrary, painful memories of abuse will never be forgotten: imagine to eat some yellow and red round berry, and spending all the night with horrible stomach cramps. Forgetting about that berry is NOT conductive to survival. Remembering that kind of berries and the cramps IS conductive to survival, since you will never eat thoe berries again.

On a personal note, my mother was more or less like OP's mom. She spent several months vomiting and shitting black clumps before going to the doctors. They found a mandarin sized tumor in her bowels, and they spent a couple of years torturing her with useless therapies and cutting away pieces of her before she died. Maybe she wanted to die, maybe she felt that she deserved to suffer. I will never know. No one of her sons ever went to visit her.