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Subject   (reply to 9544)
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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

73 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 11157 Anonymous
15th January 2015
Thursday 11:32 am
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So I was fine without the egg, then?
>> No. 11163 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 9:55 am
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you said they fall apart easily, egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat would have cured this, I've spent the last year experimenting with creating burgers and sausages, and I've made some tasty lil buggers that had terrible texture or bad structure so I say as long as you enjoyed it you did fine ladm8
>> No. 11165 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 12:51 pm
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>egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat
Ideally, all three. Burgers falling apart during cooking is as irritating as breaking the yolk when frying an egg. Why take the chance, I say.
>> No. 11166 Anonymous
16th January 2015
Friday 6:28 pm
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How To Use Mega Thick Sliced Loafs

Toast a slice like it was normal bread, then when it's "done" slice it diagonally and scrape out the untoasted bit from the middle. Now stuff that space with brie, or maybe another cheese but I've only used brie. Gently press down on the stuffed slices, maybe tuck the cheese in with the flat of a knife. Now put it in the microwave for just long enough to get the brie nice and melty, but not all gross and bubbly (I just played it by eye) and you've basically made a toasty. Oh, and stand them on end so the cheese doesn't melt out onto the plate.

I think this is a new idea, it's new to me at least.
>> No. 11167 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 4:14 pm
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Can't you just, uh, make a toastie?
>> No. 11168 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 4:59 pm
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Well, no. Not without a toasty maker, right?
>> No. 11171 Anonymous
17th January 2015
Saturday 6:32 pm
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Lah di bloody dah.

>> No. 11179 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:43 am
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A George Foreman makes a better toastie than a toastie maker.
>> No. 11180 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:59 am
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Despite the fact it's six months old and only has 77+ replies that image still defines. gs for me.
>> No. 11181 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 7:39 am
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2013 was 6 months ago?
>> No. 11182 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 8:06 am
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Maybe he's a United fan and 2014 never happened to him.
>> No. 11184 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 8:23 am
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Did you see that LUDICROUS display last night?
>> No. 11186 Anonymous
18th January 2015
Sunday 1:12 pm
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I've asked a few friendly Japs about the malt vinegar thing and they said they had no idea what it was about, it wasn't a British stereotype they knew of. Maybe they were telling the truth or maybe they thought my precious British ego couldn't take the malt-vinegar mocking.
>> No. 11206 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 5:14 pm
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Oh my shits, shops run by muslamics are amazing. a kilo of shrimp and a kilo of squid for a tenner.
>> No. 11207 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 5:28 pm
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Yeah, but I bet they were martyred. Every bite an added motivation for ARE ISIS.

I'll get my hijab...
>> No. 11208 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 8:11 pm
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Arsenal always try to walk it into the net
>> No. 11209 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 9:04 pm
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Careful, lad. They may be crusty slugs instead of shrimp.
>> No. 11226 Anonymous
8th February 2015
Sunday 11:15 am
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I'm having a go at chickpea fries, but I've misread the ingredients so you might want to scale this down unless you're serving to a dozen people.

Crush 3/4 cloves of garlic and place it into ~1.9l of boiling water. Slowly mix in 540g of gram flour (I picked up a kg bag from Morrisons for just over £1) until it ends up like very thick custard and there's no lumps. Put it in a glass bowl, wait for it to cool before covering it in cling film and bunging it in the fridge for a few hours. When it's set cut it into chips and fry. Mine's in the fridge at the moment, it smells and tastes like rubbery mash potato which I guess is a good thing.
>> No. 11407 Anonymous
15th May 2015
Friday 5:25 pm
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Seems like adding cheese when you're doing DIY garlic bread is a great idea. I'm probably going to be ill now but who cares. Some sort of peppered cheddar and mozzarella.
>> No. 11414 Anonymous
28th May 2015
Thursday 12:38 am
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Cream of Mushroom Soup with Condensed Onions and Shallots

- 300-450 gr brown button mushrooms, sliced
- 3 midsize onions, sliced
- 3 shallots, sliced
- 1 spring onion

- a few tsp. of plain wheat flour
- 1 pint of water
- 3/4 cup of double cream
- 1 teaspoon of tomato paste
- a few dollops of butter
- 1 tablesp. of grated Parmesan cheese (Grana Padano will do as well)
- 1/2 tablesp. of Philadelphia cream cheese
- salt
- pepper
- Italian herbs mix
- vegetable stock
- dry (Italian) white wine
- red wine

Sautee the onions in a bit of butter in a smallish pan with a high rim until light brown, stirring constantly. Then first douse with a gulp of the white wine, allowing it to evaporate for a moment while still stirring, then add the shallots and just about cover with vegetable stock.

The onions and shallots must now simmer with a lid at low heat for approximately an hour, until they have turned brown and sticky. Add drizzles of water repeatedly as needed. This bit is a bit tricky, but if you get it right, you will be rewarded with a deliciously sweet onion flavour that you just won't get otherwise.

Meanwhile, fry the sliced mushrooms in another pan with a dash of salt and let simmer under a lid for a few minutes.

Then, in a separate pot, make your soup by starting out with a roux and then by gradually adding more water and flour and working your way up, whisking vigorously by hand so any flour clumps will dissolve, and adding the teaspoon of tomato paste somewhere along the process. Once you have a sufficiently thick texture, add some salt, a dash of pepper, a bit of vegetable stock, a dash of herbs, a hint of red wine, and finally the double cream, the Parmesan and the Philadelphia cheese. Lastly, add the fried mushrooms (including the liquid that may have collected in the pan from frying) and the condensed onions, stir gently, and let sit for about half an hour. Briefly reheat and stir gently. Sprinkle with chopped spring onion before serving.
>> No. 11927 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 12:32 pm
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>Lad, recipes are mostly bollocks. Ignore whatever times are listed because it's completely arbitrary in relation to what you're doing, your cooker is different, the pan is different, even the thickness and size of what you're cooking is different.

>Use common sense, if something is supposed to take 1hr, and you know your oven is shite, check at 1hr, had a prod, and put it back in for 10 minutes extra.
>> No. 11928 Anonymous
2nd February 2016
Tuesday 12:52 pm
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Do this, but put cream cheese on both sides of both slices of bread before frying.

Thank me later, when you're in hospital with coronary failure...
>> No. 12078 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 7:38 pm
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Super Easy Delicious Risotto

-Cook some mushrooms in butter with, salt, pepper and a bit of garlic.
-Bang a can of Heinz mushroom soup in when they're about done.
-Dump a load of rice in, and let it simmer until it's cooked. Add milk if it dries up or gets too stodgy.
>> No. 12079 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 10:48 pm
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This sounds nice. I'll give it a go on Monday. Cheers!
>> No. 12144 Anonymous
1st November 2016
Tuesday 1:17 pm
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This site has easy, cheap, healthy dishes.


If you live in the West Midlands, you go on their free course with free food. It's all government funded.
>> No. 12145 Anonymous
1st November 2016
Tuesday 5:55 pm
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That's a really good idea.
>> No. 12211 Anonymous
23rd January 2017
Monday 5:18 pm
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Other than now having to dispose of a pan full of hot oil and gunk, making mozzarella sticks is pretty easy.

Dash of water and a couple of eggs beaten in a bowl. Some of those pre-crumbed breadcrumbs. That cheap mozzarella that doesn't fall apart, Sainsburies sell bricks of it. Chop the cheese into whatever shapes, dunk it in the egg, then the crumbs then do that again (just doing it once isn't enough and it flakes off in the oil). Chuck them two at a time in some oil that's hot enough to sizzle when you drip a little of the egg stuff into it, for 15-30 seconds until golden brown. Fish them out somehow and put them on some kitchen roll to absorb the extra oil.

They're okay, nothing special. I think some seasoning mixed into the crumbs would improve it a lot, salt especially.
>> No. 12302 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 6:26 pm
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Fuck, this was me being desperate, and injured in my right arm. Fuck it was beautiful.

1) Take saucepan. Put on hob.

2) Chop an onion, garlic, Chinese broccoli (or any leafy green one wishes), half a head of garlic, half a pepper, a chilli, bacon.

3) Fry.

4) Make some Me Goerong instant noodles (or whatever.) Add spice mix, chili powder, pepper and salt to saucepan. Oxo/stock to taste.

5) After 15 min tops, add contents of pan to 2 bowls of noddles.

6) Enjoy.

This, I have finally realised, is how you eat instant noodles. Fuck was that lovely.
>> No. 12303 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 2:52 am
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>Fish them out somehow
Bit late to this, but you want one of these (attached). They're called a wire skimmer.

>This, I have finally realised, is how you eat instant noodles.
Sounds good. I've never gone that far but I do occasionally do egg drop noodles (toss in an egg to cook in the water when you're boiling the noodles, takes a bit of learning but it won't take more than a go or two to figure it out). Works best with a duck egg, their yolk is really rich and complements the otherwise rather artificial "umami" (MSG) of flat-pack instant noodles.
>> No. 12304 Anonymous
28th June 2017
Wednesday 2:08 pm
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I got a slotted spoon, it does just as well.

Turns out you can buy 2.3kg tubs of hot lime pickle.
>> No. 12327 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 6:21 pm
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I noticed some sausage meat in a bag in Sainsburies so I made some Scotch Eggs. Well. Auld Alliance eggs (I added mashed French garlic to the meat). Plus finely diced bacon and a couple of jalapeños from the garden.
They don't taste a lot like store-bought Scotch Egg;, a different sort of flavour entirely but damn they're good.
>> No. 12328 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 10:07 pm
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They look tremendous.
>> No. 12386 Anonymous
21st November 2017
Tuesday 7:10 pm
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I tried making my own bread but I used a recipe for naan and didn't have the right ingredients so just mostly made it up. It's not bad, a bit dense. I made it into mini bacon and cheese sarnies.
>> No. 12387 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 8:45 pm
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The best pudding ever:-

• One sachet of chocolate mousse mixture. I recommend Green's.

• A few drops of orange extract. I recommend Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Valencian orange extract.

It's like an incredibly intense version of Terry's chocolate orange. Seriously, it's the tits.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 9:56 pm
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>I recommend Green's
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 7:49 pm
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After a tiny bit of trial and error I think I've cracked the best vegetarian lasagna, if it can be classified as such.

• Roast peppers with a fucktonne of oil. I suggest two sweet red pointed peppers and three yellow/red/orange bell peppers.

• When you're done with the oil use it to fry five or six shallots. After they're nice and soft add in one tin of chopped tomatoes and one tin of plum tomatoes. Let them cook for a while before going at them with a masher. Add any tomato puree or salt as you see fit.

• Cook at least one big bag of spinach. When they've wilted mix in some form of soft cheese; ricotta works best but you can use any soft/cream cheese spread instead.

• Mix most of the tomato sauce with the peppers and use this for the bottom two layers of the lasagna. Use the cheesy spinach layer as the middle and the remaining tomato sauce on top.

• Top with cheese and/or breadcrumbs.

• Eat.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 10:16 am
12430 Ultimate veggie carbonara
Step 1 - Remove stalks from a pack of mushrooms. Lightly brush them in oil, crushed garlic and black pepper. The best thing to do with them is to smoke them, which either requires living in the American Midwest, having a barbecue or either experimenting with your grill or burning something in the bottom of a wok (which you've double lined with tinfoil first) whilst having the mushrooms hovering on top on a wire rack with a lid over them.

Step 2 - Cook 500g of linguine until it is also dente.

Step 3 - Crack four eggs into a bowl and mix them together. Mix cheese, preferably pecorino or another Italian hard cheese but mature cheddar works too, until it's all thick and gloopy.

Step Four - Scoop out a cup full of the pasta water before draining it, but don't shake it completely dry.

Step Five - Mix everything back in the pan. The heat from the pan should cook the egg mixture without scrambling it. Add more cheese to taste and a little of the pasta water if it's not at the desired consistency.
>> No. 13039 Anonymous
17th July 2019
Wednesday 10:50 pm
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Oh god that's a disgusting idea.
>> No. 13046 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 6:50 pm
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Disgusting ideas can still taste delicious. For example, toast dunked in tea / wotsits dunked in coffee.

Once you get over these entry-level things, you may consider Tripe and Head Cheese.
>> No. 13059 Anonymous
10th August 2019
Saturday 4:20 pm
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In one large pot:
400g diced pancetta.
A good helping of oil (coconut works well)
Fry on max heat for 3-5 minutes
Add 500g of at least 20% fat beef mince.
Continue to fry until browned.
Add mashed tomatoes to taste.
Add beans, any beans. As much as you want. Not dried beans, though.
Add chilli powder, chilli sauce, chilli flake, shichimi, pepper and anything else that resembles spice.
Stir properly, then turn down heat.
Simmer (use a simmer ring if you have a gas hob) for 10-20 minutes until too hungry to wait longer.

Serve with rice.
>> No. 13061 Anonymous
13th August 2019
Tuesday 7:10 pm
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Making fruit leather (blended fruit dried out on a tray) is satisfying but I'm bored of doing that.

Here's one of two baking trays with blended tomato, celery, salt, pepper, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce and some lemon.
There are another two of the same but also a handful of thyme, MSG, paprika and an anchovy, just because. There's enough of the mix left to make another one and a half but it won't fit so it's chilling in the fridge until these four lots have finished drying
No idea how it'll be in the end but the weird salsa that it is now is quite nice.
>> No. 13062 Anonymous
13th August 2019
Tuesday 7:14 pm
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I originally read pancetta as placenta and presumed cat food eater had struck again.
>> No. 13063 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 6:50 pm
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tomato leather.jpg
It worked. This is definitely savoury fruit leather. The first batch had too much tabasco in it so the heat overpowers the more subtle flavours of the celery and thyme but it comes through nicely in the second.
>> No. 13065 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 9:03 pm
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I'll ber honest mate, fruit leather like shit going in but when cooked the transformation is incredible. I'd consider paying for something looking like that.
>> No. 13067 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:24 am
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It has almost as much bite as jerky, the main difference is that it's much thinner. It's quite satisfying to chew and extremely flavourful.
>> No. 13092 Anonymous
10th October 2019
Thursday 10:41 am
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I made some nice burgers today.

Mince beef
Porridge oats
Diced onion
Mixed herbs
Soy sauce

Mix it all together, shape into patties and cook in the oven.
>> No. 13093 Anonymous
10th October 2019
Thursday 12:39 pm
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>Mince beef

Beef mince? Minced beef?
>> No. 13094 Anonymous
10th October 2019
Thursday 12:52 pm
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oh shit, I'm getting banned
>> No. 13095 Anonymous
15th October 2019
Tuesday 1:55 am
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mints beef
>> No. 13096 Anonymous
15th October 2019
Tuesday 9:29 am
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Mint's beef.

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