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>> No. 13073 Anonymous
28th September 2019
Saturday 11:59 am
13073 Hot sauces and chili jams
Any of you lads had any experience with making your own hot sauce or chili jams? If not, do you have any favourites?

I'm about to harvest my chili plant and retire it for the winter. I'll probably cook up a few batches and bottle them for the next couple of months.

My proposed mix is as follows:

- 3 x Scotch bonnet
- 3 x jalapeno (grilled)
- 1 x bell pepper (roasted)
- Handful of roasted plum tomatoes
- Half an onion (grilled)
- Some garlic
- Some ginger
- A few carrots (roasted)
- Salt
2 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 13076 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 12:11 pm
13076 spacer
>>13073
Sounds delicious - I like the roasted plum tomatoes.
>> No. 13077 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 2:56 pm
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>>13076
It turned out alright, I suppose. Less yield than I'd expected mostly due to not being able to liquefy it as much as I anticipated. Not sure if I just didn't add enough liquid or what.
>> No. 13081 Anonymous
29th September 2019
Sunday 7:01 pm
13081 spacer
Are you a hård man, OP?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npP2U_V5rv4
>> No. 13084 Anonymous
30th September 2019
Monday 6:27 pm
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Bit late, but this guy has a lot of good guides to making chilli sauces. You might want to look at making a fermented sauce too. They're "easy" in one sense of the word, although you might face certain problems with that route.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofCJtEHc2P0
>> No. 13124 Anonymous
26th October 2019
Saturday 12:46 pm
13124 spacer
12x random chilli pepper I was sent. Look like Trinidad Scorpions but it's hard to be sure.
Half a mug of dried sichuan peppers
2x Garlic cloves
Roasted on a low temperature for a bit then took the sichuan peppers out when they started to smoke. Turned up the temperature and continued roasting until the chillies started to blacken a little.
.5 cup light soy sauce
1x cup of rice vinegar
1.5 shots of lime juice
1x teaspoon of cayenne pepper
.5 test tube of dried chipotle
1x teaspoon salt
1x tablespoon MSG
Peeled the now soft garlic & removed the chilli pepper stalks, blended all the ingredients together as homogeneously as possible. Brought to a boil then simmered for the remainder of 30 minutes while fairly constantly stirring.

It's cooling now. I can see subsidence is a problem as it keeps separating so will need shaking/stirring before serving but it's really delicious.

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>> No. 13064 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 8:58 pm
13064 Unusual ingredient thread
I have a smoked garlic bulb from my local greengrocers' and would like some ideas of what to do with it. I know that only a carpet-bagger needs a quick response but I'd quite like to cook with it tonight if anyone has some immediate ideas.

I also thought this could be a good thread for when we find ourselves in possession of a random ingredient and need cheflad the userbase to give us some pointers.
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>> No. 13066 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:15 am
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Anything you'd normally put garlic in.
>> No. 13068 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:39 am
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>>13064
If it's hot-smoked, use it anywhere you'd use roasted garlic.

If it's cold-smoked, there's a risk that cooking will dull the smoky notes, but it'll add an extra dimension to an aioli or mayo, and you'll probably get away with it in a tomato sauce for pasta. That said, worst case scenario is you kill the smoke and end up with the same taste as unsmoked garlic.
>> No. 13069 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 6:41 pm
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>>13064
Spread it on crusty bread and eat raw?
>> No. 13070 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 7:15 pm
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>>13064
Plant it and see if you can grow more smoked garlic and then start selling it back to the greengrocer.
>> No. 13071 Anonymous
16th August 2019
Friday 2:29 pm
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I think the greengrocers' didn't smoke it for long enough. It was clearly cold-smoked as it wasn't softened or browned on the inside, and after some gentle cooking the smoky aroma wasn't very noticable at all. In the end I made a sort of Japanese omelette (I think they call it tamagoyaki) with a little sesame oil and spring onion greens to go with a salmon dish of mine. It was very nice and all but I don't think the fact that the garlic was smoked did much.

Actual hot-smoked garlic like in my earlier pic does look delicious though, I'd love to have that on toast.

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>> No. 13040 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 10:43 am
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They finally invented the ultimate chip.
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>> No. 13041 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 11:37 am
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Are these the Iceland ones? They're full of onions.
>> No. 13042 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:15 pm
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>>13041
Hash browns are supposed to contain onion.
They're not supposed to contain Maize Starch, though, the bastards. There's no need.
Gits. Nice idea otherwise, although if they look as manky as they do on the bag picture, no great loss.
Hash browns are a bit of a faff to make, but I cheat by using dried onion to soak up some of the water from the potato grating, and they come up nicely.
>> No. 13043 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:41 pm
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>>13042

>There's no need.

Maize starch is a standard ingredient in battered and breaded products, because it improves crispness. They could take out the maize starch, but it'd make the product worse.
>> No. 13044 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:55 pm
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>>13043
It comes and goes. Pea starch does much the same* and was evidently cheaper until last year, when Maize made a comeback. Hell, even potato starch makes for a nice crispiness, and they've used it in the product.
* except pea starch doesn't make my mouth blister and mean I'm shitting rusty water for a couple of days. Sage for whining. I'll get by without these lovelies, but I might get some dried onion in.
>> No. 13045 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:58 pm
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>>13044
Also: These aren't battered or breaded products, where I'd expect to find the bastard stuff. They've snuck it in where it's of marginal benefit.
Unlike Merkin food, not _everything_ in this country gets a healthy dose of subsidised corn products.

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>> No. 10692 Anonymous
14th July 2014
Monday 11:14 pm
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What's your favourite Ristorante pizza?

I usually go for the Mozzarella one, it's hard to beat those little flavour explosions of garlic butter. I would prefer the Funghi ones, the taste and the flavour of the mushrooms is magnificent for the price, but it's not stocked in many places.
83 posts and 12 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 10786 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:41 pm
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>>10779

This looks delicious.
>> No. 10787 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:44 pm
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>>10785

The I was going to make a clever post about how their sugar, as in actual glucose, is made out of corn but that hit a little too close to the truth and now I feel sad.
>> No. 10798 Anonymous
20th July 2014
Sunday 1:43 pm
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>>10783
>"We planned to top the pizzas with actual garbage but by judging to our findings people will probably eat those too"

>"Dr Mores said he had initially had moral issues with conducting the tests on humans but has since come to see the subjects as 'cheese and sauce consuming beasts' "

>"In international news; the equivalent of 5 americans were killed in Afghanistan today"

At first I thought it was an advertisement for Dominoes until I noticed 'The Onion' logo. I'd forgotten about that site.
>> No. 12994 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 7:23 pm
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You either end up with undercooked pizza or burnt Quorn.
>> No. 12995 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 8:06 pm
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>>12994

At least the "meat" on this isn't going to be a load of barbecue-flavoured floor sweepings with seams of Transglutaminase. That shit is enough to make a bloke go veggie.

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>> No. 12981 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:19 pm
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Is there such a thing as a website or app that generates dish ideas based on ingredients that you enter?

Which is to say, you can tell it what you currently have in your kitchen and it'll pop out with a recommendation (and let you know what ingredients of yours will work as a facsimile, or cross out those that are non essential, etc.).

I've tried Supercook, but there's no 'fuzziness' there. Only strictly the ingredients you have.
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>> No. 12982 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:01 pm
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>>12981
I want the same thing lad. Closest I've found is the 'Dinner Spinner' by allrecipes.com.
>> No. 12983 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:03 pm
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Oh. That I look closer, I think it is based on the same technology. Sorry.
>> No. 12984 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:06 pm
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http://myfridgefood.com/ is that but it's pretty americanised so might not be that useful to you.

It'd make a great app, but I'm not sure that exists.
>> No. 12985 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 3:31 pm
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>>12982

All recipes lets you search with an ingredient search. I didn't have to use Dinner Spinner.

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>> No. 12946 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
12946 Shitty beans
Was the idea of having horrible surprise flavour jelly beans a thing before the Harry Potter books or did Rowling come up with the idea?
I'm not really old enough to remember.
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>> No. 12947 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 9:52 pm
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>"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" were inspired by the Harry Potter book series and featured intentionally gruesome flavors such as "Vomit", "Earwax", "Skunk Spray", and "Rotten Egg". A similar product dubbed "BeanBoozled" pairs lookalike "normal" flavors with weird flavors, such as "Peach" and "Barf".[26][27]

Apparently inspired by Harry Potter, today I learned, interesting. It's one of those sweets though where you feel generally grim after consumption of a whole pack because you can never have five.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelly_Belly#Jelly_beans
>> No. 12948 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:34 pm
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There were always shit favoured jelly beans. The worst type of sweet, by far, was those red hot cinnamon ones. I've no idea why they were ever a thing.
>> No. 12949 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:47 pm
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>>12948
It's probably because someone invented cinammon, then someone else lied to him for a laugh and pretend to like the taste, so of course he assumed a bean-based version of the same flavour would be welcomed.
>> No. 12950 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 12:07 am
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>>12948

Yanks fucking love cinnamon. No idea why.
>> No. 12951 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 8:46 am
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>>12950

Cinnamon?

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>> No. 12900 Anonymous
1st January 2019
Tuesday 10:19 am
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In this thread I am going to rank various foodstuffs. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but then you'd be wrong.

I shall start with baked beans. The best baked beans are by Branston. The second best baked beans are Corale beans by Aldi.
37 posts and 9 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12941 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 8:27 pm
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>>12930
When is the backlash going to start against all this sassy reply bullshit that comes out of corporate twitter accounts these days? You're Greggs for fucks sake, have some self-respect.

>>12938
I wonder if we'll start seeing the vegan equivalent white van men. You'll be innocently walking to the shops and a couple of art hoes will start hurling sexual offers at you from their van and you can't tell them to go fuck themselves because what with being all monists it's what they're asking for in a roundabout way.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:06 pm
12942 spacer
>>12941

I can't even see their faces properly, but I 100% would. Any girl with a fringe like that has serious daddy issues.

Saging for casual misogyny.
>> No. 12943 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:10 pm
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>>12942
That's not acceptable, lad. You know the misogyny dress code is smart-casual.
>> No. 12944 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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Asda crispy homestyle chips are very nice.
>> No. 12945 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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>>12944

I find it very difficult to enjoy oven chips after a career of being able to pick at fresh chips straight out of a fryer. They're just not the same.

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>> No. 12845 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
12845 Espresso bollocks
My old man really likes that type of coffee.

I'm thinking about buying him a small semi-auto machine for a birthday gift. There's a wee problem here: I can't figure what exactly I should aim for. Advice on the Net differs: some say the bean quality and the grind uniformity are the things that matter the most, others state that one shouldn't even try to approach espresso without a machine on par with Gaggia Classic / Europiccola, not even mentioning a decent grinder.

Just how important is having a proper coffee hipsterenthusiast endorsed machine? I sense that their advice might be truthful per se but could it be something with diminishing returns compared to a mildly bog standard espresso maker?
2 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12849 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:15 pm
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>>12847
He might. He did all that jazz on his previous job. As far as I can judge it wasn't too much nuisance for him, perhaps even some sort of a rather pleasant ritual.
>>12848
He has one, I think. It's a good little thing but the coffee it makes is of different kind, despite being brewed by pressure too.
>> No. 12850 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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>>12847

The middle ground option would be a semi-automatic machine with a capsule-compatible portafilter. That gives you the choice between doing everything yourself, or just dropping in a capsule if you can't be arsed with grinding and tamping.

As regards the original question, I think that entry-level machines have improved greatly in recent years. Cheap fully-automatic capsule machines make a perfectly decent espresso, they just lack the level of control that hobbyists want.
>> No. 12851 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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Sorted.
>> No. 12858 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 10:08 am
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>>12851
Instant? Please. Even the Polish method (or Israeli 'kafe bots', whatever the damn name is) yields better results.
>> No. 12899 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 4:04 pm
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Speaking of espresso, are there any decent materials about this magic? What I'm actually interested about is modern 'schools of preparation'.
That Italian Espresso Institute paper said 7 g of ground coffee per one serving. Americans seem to be stuffing at least 14 g, usually 18 to 21 g.

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>> No. 12855 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:06 pm
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Cooking instructions are maddeningly verbose to me. I just read an article on how to cook rice that somehow stretched to 200 words, when it could have been summarised in "rinse if you want to, cover it with water in a lidded pot and boil it until it's soft".

Are there any decent websites that just tell you, stick X in gredient in Y pan for Z minutes? What's the cooking equivalent of a Hayne's manual?
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>> No. 12856 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:13 pm
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Cooking blogs have to write an entire article about the recipe, as a small list of ingredients and a method alone would tank their search engine prioritisation. Google doesn't seem to like to push 'low effort' webpages, which is what the algorithms see a recipe alone as.

I've never seen one of these sites that doesn't, somewhere on the page, display said simple list of ingredients and a step-by-step list of the method.
>> No. 12857 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:33 pm
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>>12855
Haynes do cookbooks, m8.

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>> No. 12690 Anonymous
29th August 2018
Wednesday 9:46 am
12690 Time for this year's fungal infection?
The rains have fallen, the fungus is sprouting.
Can't seem to find this chap in the guides - doesn't look that appealing. Any hints?
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>> No. 12736 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:37 am
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I'm not here looking for buttsex, btw. Just wondering if things I find while walking the dog will make a nice omelette, or kill me.
Got lots of these, f'rinstance, but they're just nice to look at, not particularly interesting for food or recreation.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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>>12735

The stipe is different in colouration, it has that giraffe pattern on a parasol even at the early stages of developement,where as OPs mushroom doesn't.
>> No. 12852 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 5:47 am
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>>12690
If you cut the stipe on those ones and it stains reddish or rusty after a few minutes and eventually turns brown then they're great to eat. If its the kind with a greenish sport print then it awful and you'll get sick. The good kind used to be called Lepioda Rachodes, but mushroom taxonimists keep on changing it's official name so I don't know what its called these days, but its still edible regardless.
>> No. 12853 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 9:53 am
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Is this good eating?
Web doesn't seem to say, one way or another.
https://www.naturespot.org.uk/species/dog-sick-slime-mould
>> No. 12854 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 1:11 pm
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>>12853
I'm no expert but have you considered setting up a GoFundMe instead?

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>> No. 12184 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 1:56 am
12184 Beef Jerky
I got one of these for christmas so I made some beef jerky.
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>> No. 12277 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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>>12276
Have you tried using tamari instead of soy sauce? I have a feeling it'd work well with one of these; more umami.
>> No. 12279 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:46 pm
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>>12277

No. I'll have a look for it next time I'm at an Asian supermarket.
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
12th September 2018
Wednesday 9:38 pm
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>>12202
I just got one to do my glut of figs. They've been going for 30 hours so far, and still have some way to go. Testing them from time to time - Mmm, warm, concentrated figgy goodness. Even if they don't dry out properly (I just quartered them), they're ridiculously nice.
Apples next, once the fig glut is cleared.
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:27 pm
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>>12740
Figs are pretty big, I hope you sliced them up first.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:31 pm
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>>12741 (I just quartered them)

they came out great, very happy with the results. Will be drying out all sorts of things now.As a way of smoothing out peaks of stuff from the garden, it's got a lot going for it - saves ramming the freezer full of stuff that isn't improved by freezing. Still throwing out over 200kg of duff apples a week, it's been a really shitty year for that, with the mad weather.

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>> No. 12571 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 5:57 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8_HThEYP2o

Are there any decent cookery channels or videos online? I'd be surprised if there wasn't, but I don't know of any.
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>> No. 12730 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:24 am
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>>12727

His cats might be very well behaved by western standards but to the japanese those cats are practically feral


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXKw_rBhOTs
>> No. 12731 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 1:04 am
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>>12574

IRA subliminal flashes
>> No. 12734 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:02 am
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>>12731

Do you not know what the Indian flag looks like?
>> No. 12738 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:05 pm
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Depends what you're looking for really.

Alton Brown doesn't really release on YouTube anymore but his back catalogue — and Good Eats series if you can find it — is a must-watch. Yank Heston Blumenthal with less of the pug-faced wanker snobbery.

Chef John's Foooood Wishes dot cooom is punny, technique-focused experimental cooking for the home kitchen. He's a good laugh.

Barry Lewis' My Virgin Kitchen is a bloke from Weston who used to be shit at cooking and is now quite good. Does a lot of those one-shot kitchen gadget vids too which can be entertaining.

Sorted and Jamie Oliver's channels are alright too.

For everything else (and entertainment value ramped up to 11,) I'd recommend Binging with Babish and his Basics with Babish side-series. The latter teaches you essential culinary skills in an easy to digest format. Not to say you're thick but you probably are if you're coming to us for help, let's be honest.

>>12572
RIP Francis-san. It's not been the same since.
>> No. 12739 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:54 pm
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Alex-French-Guy doesn't quite fall into the normal category of a cooking show, but he can be quite entertaining. There are a lot of mad and highly detailed ramblings about simple things like boiling eggs.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzIdk8UHHUU

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>> No. 12349 Anonymous
13th October 2017
Friday 3:44 pm
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Lads,
Are there any other nice hot drinks that take milk? I understand how retarded that sounds but I'm starting to get sick of normal tea and coffee.
Hot chocolate is nice and all but not something I can drink all the time.
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>> No. 12542 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 11:57 am
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>>12359
>>/x/23810

I too am known to be partial to a nice bit of red bush.
>> No. 12543 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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>>12540
On a serious note, one of my colleagues has recently switched to this stuff in an effort to battle her caffeine addiction. Initially I was quite skeptical but she made me a mug of it and I was pleasantly surprised at how bearable it was. Tastes somewhere between a barley malt drink like Horlicks with some of the bitterness of coffee from the chicory. Holland & Barrett.
>> No. 12544 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 6:58 pm
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>>12543
Didn't they used to call it Mellow Birds bitd?
>> No. 12545 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 7:22 pm
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>>12544
>bitd

Mellow birds bifter?
>> No. 12546 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 8:24 pm
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>>12544

Mellow Birds was (and is) just an incredibly bland instant coffee. Camp Coffee is mostly chicory, inexplicably liquid and markedly less racist than it used to be.

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>> No. 12522 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 8:55 pm
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Does anyone know what the full recipe for this roast veg recipe is? I've had a look on the Newcastle can website but didn't see it there.

It starts at 42:10

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0b1zh3y/britains-fat-fight-with-hugh-fearnleywhittingstall-series-1-episode-2

Ingredients:

Celeriac
4 x Carrots
Garlic
Kale
3 x red onions
3 x potatoes
4 x parsnips
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 12523 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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If it's Hugh then it probably involves wrapping a sleeping woman's hair around your cock whilst you wank off.
>> No. 12524 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 10:57 pm
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>>12523

Wanking with someone's hair just sounds weird and uncomfortable. Why can't he wank off with that person's mother's or sister's knickers instead like a normal person.
>> No. 12525 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 1:25 am
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I don't see where he's used the potatoes. My professional assumption would be you'd roast the potato in with the other root veg, and the grated stuff at the end looks a lot like squash (or carrot) and cabbage, though celeriac and carrots would have much the same effect. He calls that bit a salad, so one would have to assume he's mixed a bit of vinegar and oil together for a classic vinaigrette dressing.
>> No. 12526 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 9:49 am
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>>12525
Thanks!

Let's hope, it's as delectable as Noble implies.

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