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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

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>> No. 13062 Anonymous
13th August 2019
Tuesday 7:14 pm
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I originally read pancetta as placenta and presumed cat food eater had struck again.
>> No. 13063 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 6:50 pm
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tomato leather.jpg
It worked. This is definitely savoury fruit leather. The first batch had too much tabasco in it so the heat overpowers the more subtle flavours of the celery and thyme but it comes through nicely in the second.
>> No. 13065 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 9:03 pm
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I'll ber honest mate, fruit leather like shit going in but when cooked the transformation is incredible. I'd consider paying for something looking like that.
>> No. 13067 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:24 am
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It has almost as much bite as jerky, the main difference is that it's much thinner. It's quite satisfying to chew and extremely flavourful.

>> No. 13064 Anonymous
14th August 2019
Wednesday 8:58 pm
13064 Unusual ingredient thread
I have a smoked garlic bulb from my local greengrocers' and would like some ideas of what to do with it. I know that only a carpet-bagger needs a quick response but I'd quite like to cook with it tonight if anyone has some immediate ideas.

I also thought this could be a good thread for when we find ourselves in possession of a random ingredient and need cheflad the userbase to give us some pointers.
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>> No. 13066 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:15 am
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Anything you'd normally put garlic in.
>> No. 13068 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 4:39 am
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If it's hot-smoked, use it anywhere you'd use roasted garlic.

If it's cold-smoked, there's a risk that cooking will dull the smoky notes, but it'll add an extra dimension to an aioli or mayo, and you'll probably get away with it in a tomato sauce for pasta. That said, worst case scenario is you kill the smoke and end up with the same taste as unsmoked garlic.
>> No. 13069 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 6:41 pm
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Spread it on crusty bread and eat raw?
>> No. 13070 Anonymous
15th August 2019
Thursday 7:15 pm
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Plant it and see if you can grow more smoked garlic and then start selling it back to the greengrocer.
>> No. 13071 Anonymous
16th August 2019
Friday 2:29 pm
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I think the greengrocers' didn't smoke it for long enough. It was clearly cold-smoked as it wasn't softened or browned on the inside, and after some gentle cooking the smoky aroma wasn't very noticable at all. In the end I made a sort of Japanese omelette (I think they call it tamagoyaki) with a little sesame oil and spring onion greens to go with a salmon dish of mine. It was very nice and all but I don't think the fact that the garlic was smoked did much.

Actual hot-smoked garlic like in my earlier pic does look delicious though, I'd love to have that on toast.

>> No. 12807 Anonymous
10th November 2018
Saturday 9:39 am
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What's the best method for making tomato sauce?

I usually slowly cook a few tins of plum tomatoes, but it doesn't quite taste as rich and strong as I'd like. Should I be adding in tomato puree?
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>> No. 12842 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:16 pm
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My ex girlfriend's cousin was the tramp that got his ear bitten by Alan Davies.
>> No. 12843 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 5:37 pm
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Happy to assist a fellow man of culture:


You can buy almost every REAL italian food from there. The "bulk deals" have a lot of excellent ingredients for a very low price.
>> No. 12844 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Thank you very much, I didn't know about them.
>> No. 13055 Anonymous
3rd August 2019
Saturday 7:11 pm
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Today I've tried using red wine vinegar in my pasta sauce. I think it might be a bit of a game changer.
>> No. 13056 Anonymous
3rd August 2019
Saturday 8:52 pm
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As I said in >>12823 you need a bit of vinegar to make the tomatoes taste nicer. It's definitely a game changer.

>> No. 13040 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 10:43 am
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They finally invented the ultimate chip.
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>> No. 13041 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 11:37 am
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Are these the Iceland ones? They're full of onions.
>> No. 13042 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:15 pm
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Hash browns are supposed to contain onion.
They're not supposed to contain Maize Starch, though, the bastards. There's no need.
Gits. Nice idea otherwise, although if they look as manky as they do on the bag picture, no great loss.
Hash browns are a bit of a faff to make, but I cheat by using dried onion to soak up some of the water from the potato grating, and they come up nicely.
>> No. 13043 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:41 pm
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>There's no need.

Maize starch is a standard ingredient in battered and breaded products, because it improves crispness. They could take out the maize starch, but it'd make the product worse.
>> No. 13044 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:55 pm
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It comes and goes. Pea starch does much the same* and was evidently cheaper until last year, when Maize made a comeback. Hell, even potato starch makes for a nice crispiness, and they've used it in the product.
* except pea starch doesn't make my mouth blister and mean I'm shitting rusty water for a couple of days. Sage for whining. I'll get by without these lovelies, but I might get some dried onion in.
>> No. 13045 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 12:58 pm
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Also: These aren't battered or breaded products, where I'd expect to find the bastard stuff. They've snuck it in where it's of marginal benefit.
Unlike Merkin food, not _everything_ in this country gets a healthy dose of subsidised corn products.

>> No. 5883 Anonymous
6th April 2011
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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Why do a lot of people seem to rave about Nando's?

My friends think I'm a freak because I very rarely eat Subway or Nando's; as far I can tell it's just, not especially good quality, grilled chicken that has been marinated in peri-peri sauce. Am I missing something here?
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>> No. 13033 Anonymous
25th May 2019
Saturday 2:02 pm
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Part of takeaway pizza for me was the rush. It arrives, a huge meaty spicy monster, I scoff it down all to myself in a ridiculously short amount of time, and then it's over. I've had my fix and then I just want to lie around and digest while feeling disgusted with myself. The idea of then having more pizza later on or the next day is absurd. So I very rarely get it anymore because there never seems to be any decent deals anymore for the fat greedy loner who wants to spend about a tenner on a big pizza.
>> No. 13034 Anonymous
25th May 2019
Saturday 2:07 pm
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If you've never had leftover pizza for breakfast then you are truly missing out on life.
>> No. 13035 Anonymous
25th May 2019
Saturday 2:47 pm
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Then you're doing it wrong.

Take a pan, heat it up, stick your pizza in there, add a few splashes of water and cover the pan for about a minute or two - the result is usually better than the pizza as delivered.
>> No. 13036 Anonymous
25th May 2019
Saturday 2:49 pm
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You're supposed to eat it cold, while slumped on the kitchen floor in a hungover mess.
>> No. 13037 Anonymous
25th May 2019
Saturday 6:08 pm
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Anyone should know that leftover pizza is one of the best things to exist in this miraculous universe of ours.

However, that's yet another way Domino's and their ilk fall short. Their pizza dries out and loses flavour overnight, and it doesn't take reheating well at all. This is contrary to the cheap, dirty kind of pizza you get from Alis Kebab Shack, which only improves to a subtler depth of flavour and richer texture when consumed cold; and develops a satisfying crisp tanginess when reheated.

It's like anything Yank made. Cars, donuts, guitars... You're paying over the odds for something that is objectively worse in almost every possible metric.

>> No. 10692 Anonymous
14th July 2014
Monday 11:14 pm
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What's your favourite Ristorante pizza?

I usually go for the Mozzarella one, it's hard to beat those little flavour explosions of garlic butter. I would prefer the Funghi ones, the taste and the flavour of the mushrooms is magnificent for the price, but it's not stocked in many places.
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>> No. 10786 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:41 pm
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This looks delicious.
>> No. 10787 Anonymous
19th July 2014
Saturday 7:44 pm
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The I was going to make a clever post about how their sugar, as in actual glucose, is made out of corn but that hit a little too close to the truth and now I feel sad.
>> No. 10798 Anonymous
20th July 2014
Sunday 1:43 pm
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>"We planned to top the pizzas with actual garbage but by judging to our findings people will probably eat those too"

>"Dr Mores said he had initially had moral issues with conducting the tests on humans but has since come to see the subjects as 'cheese and sauce consuming beasts' "

>"In international news; the equivalent of 5 americans were killed in Afghanistan today"

At first I thought it was an advertisement for Dominoes until I noticed 'The Onion' logo. I'd forgotten about that site.
>> No. 12994 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 7:23 pm
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You either end up with undercooked pizza or burnt Quorn.
>> No. 12995 Anonymous
25th April 2019
Thursday 8:06 pm
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At least the "meat" on this isn't going to be a load of barbecue-flavoured floor sweepings with seams of Transglutaminase. That shit is enough to make a bloke go veggie.

>> No. 12981 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:19 pm
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Is there such a thing as a website or app that generates dish ideas based on ingredients that you enter?

Which is to say, you can tell it what you currently have in your kitchen and it'll pop out with a recommendation (and let you know what ingredients of yours will work as a facsimile, or cross out those that are non essential, etc.).

I've tried Supercook, but there's no 'fuzziness' there. Only strictly the ingredients you have.
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>> No. 12982 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:01 pm
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I want the same thing lad. Closest I've found is the 'Dinner Spinner' by allrecipes.com.
>> No. 12983 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:03 pm
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Oh. That I look closer, I think it is based on the same technology. Sorry.
>> No. 12984 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:06 pm
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http://myfridgefood.com/ is that but it's pretty americanised so might not be that useful to you.

It'd make a great app, but I'm not sure that exists.
>> No. 12985 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 3:31 pm
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All recipes lets you search with an ingredient search. I didn't have to use Dinner Spinner.

>> No. 12946 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
12946 Shitty beans
Was the idea of having horrible surprise flavour jelly beans a thing before the Harry Potter books or did Rowling come up with the idea?
I'm not really old enough to remember.
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>> No. 12947 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 9:52 pm
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>"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" were inspired by the Harry Potter book series and featured intentionally gruesome flavors such as "Vomit", "Earwax", "Skunk Spray", and "Rotten Egg". A similar product dubbed "BeanBoozled" pairs lookalike "normal" flavors with weird flavors, such as "Peach" and "Barf".[26][27]

Apparently inspired by Harry Potter, today I learned, interesting. It's one of those sweets though where you feel generally grim after consumption of a whole pack because you can never have five.

>> No. 12948 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:34 pm
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There were always shit favoured jelly beans. The worst type of sweet, by far, was those red hot cinnamon ones. I've no idea why they were ever a thing.
>> No. 12949 Anonymous
13th January 2019
Sunday 10:47 pm
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It's probably because someone invented cinammon, then someone else lied to him for a laugh and pretend to like the taste, so of course he assumed a bean-based version of the same flavour would be welcomed.
>> No. 12950 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 12:07 am
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Yanks fucking love cinnamon. No idea why.
>> No. 12951 Anonymous
14th January 2019
Monday 8:46 am
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>> No. 12900 Anonymous
1st January 2019
Tuesday 10:19 am
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In this thread I am going to rank various foodstuffs. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but then you'd be wrong.

I shall start with baked beans. The best baked beans are by Branston. The second best baked beans are Corale beans by Aldi.
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>> No. 12941 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 8:27 pm
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When is the backlash going to start against all this sassy reply bullshit that comes out of corporate twitter accounts these days? You're Greggs for fucks sake, have some self-respect.

I wonder if we'll start seeing the vegan equivalent white van men. You'll be innocently walking to the shops and a couple of art hoes will start hurling sexual offers at you from their van and you can't tell them to go fuck themselves because what with being all monists it's what they're asking for in a roundabout way.
>> No. 12942 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:06 pm
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I can't even see their faces properly, but I 100% would. Any girl with a fringe like that has serious daddy issues.

Saging for casual misogyny.
>> No. 12943 Anonymous
3rd January 2019
Thursday 9:10 pm
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That's not acceptable, lad. You know the misogyny dress code is smart-casual.
>> No. 12944 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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Asda crispy homestyle chips are very nice.
>> No. 12945 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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I find it very difficult to enjoy oven chips after a career of being able to pick at fresh chips straight out of a fryer. They're just not the same.

>> No. 12845 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
12845 Espresso bollocks
My old man really likes that type of coffee.

I'm thinking about buying him a small semi-auto machine for a birthday gift. There's a wee problem here: I can't figure what exactly I should aim for. Advice on the Net differs: some say the bean quality and the grind uniformity are the things that matter the most, others state that one shouldn't even try to approach espresso without a machine on par with Gaggia Classic / Europiccola, not even mentioning a decent grinder.

Just how important is having a proper coffee hipsterenthusiast endorsed machine? I sense that their advice might be truthful per se but could it be something with diminishing returns compared to a mildly bog standard espresso maker?
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>> No. 12849 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:15 pm
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He might. He did all that jazz on his previous job. As far as I can judge it wasn't too much nuisance for him, perhaps even some sort of a rather pleasant ritual.
He has one, I think. It's a good little thing but the coffee it makes is of different kind, despite being brewed by pressure too.
>> No. 12850 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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The middle ground option would be a semi-automatic machine with a capsule-compatible portafilter. That gives you the choice between doing everything yourself, or just dropping in a capsule if you can't be arsed with grinding and tamping.

As regards the original question, I think that entry-level machines have improved greatly in recent years. Cheap fully-automatic capsule machines make a perfectly decent espresso, they just lack the level of control that hobbyists want.
>> No. 12851 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>> No. 12858 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 10:08 am
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Instant? Please. Even the Polish method (or Israeli 'kafe bots', whatever the damn name is) yields better results.
>> No. 12899 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 4:04 pm
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Speaking of espresso, are there any decent materials about this magic? What I'm actually interested about is modern 'schools of preparation'.
That Italian Espresso Institute paper said 7 g of ground coffee per one serving. Americans seem to be stuffing at least 14 g, usually 18 to 21 g.

>> No. 12576 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 1:41 pm
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Is cultural appropriation even possible when it comes to cooking?
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>> No. 12894 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:02 pm
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Left is a goer, middle likes anal but only occasionally, right won't even give you a blowie unless it's your birthday.
>> No. 12895 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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Left looks like she'd be very loose and sloppy, with no firmness to her body whatsoever. She'd drive you up the wall with the inane things she frequently utters.

Middle looks like there's some hidden horror lurking beneath, like she's got a ridiculously hairy muff and it's all matted with discharge because she doesn't believe in washing.

Right is ice cold. She just lies there like a dead fish during sex.
>> No. 12896 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 8:55 pm
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Left has an undiagnosed learning disability and is quick to anger.
Middle is a skinny-fat bloke who grew a vagina to go with those sad tits.
Right has an eating disorder and cutting scars - like shagging a greyhound.

Trust me, I have shit taste in women.
>> No. 12897 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:17 pm
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>like shagging a greyhound

Is that good or bad?
>> No. 12898 Anonymous
19th December 2018
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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Bad, since they are thin and not necessarily well cared for. A plumper dog from a loving family would be a much better shag.

>> No. 12855 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:06 pm
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Cooking instructions are maddeningly verbose to me. I just read an article on how to cook rice that somehow stretched to 200 words, when it could have been summarised in "rinse if you want to, cover it with water in a lidded pot and boil it until it's soft".

Are there any decent websites that just tell you, stick X in gredient in Y pan for Z minutes? What's the cooking equivalent of a Hayne's manual?
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>> No. 12856 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 3:13 pm
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Cooking blogs have to write an entire article about the recipe, as a small list of ingredients and a method alone would tank their search engine prioritisation. Google doesn't seem to like to push 'low effort' webpages, which is what the algorithms see a recipe alone as.

I've never seen one of these sites that doesn't, somewhere on the page, display said simple list of ingredients and a step-by-step list of the method.
>> No. 12857 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:33 pm
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Haynes do cookbooks, m8.

>> No. 12690 Anonymous
29th August 2018
Wednesday 9:46 am
12690 Time for this year's fungal infection?
The rains have fallen, the fungus is sprouting.
Can't seem to find this chap in the guides - doesn't look that appealing. Any hints?
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>> No. 12736 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:37 am
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I'm not here looking for buttsex, btw. Just wondering if things I find while walking the dog will make a nice omelette, or kill me.
Got lots of these, f'rinstance, but they're just nice to look at, not particularly interesting for food or recreation.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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The stipe is different in colouration, it has that giraffe pattern on a parasol even at the early stages of developement,where as OPs mushroom doesn't.
>> No. 12852 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 5:47 am
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If you cut the stipe on those ones and it stains reddish or rusty after a few minutes and eventually turns brown then they're great to eat. If its the kind with a greenish sport print then it awful and you'll get sick. The good kind used to be called Lepioda Rachodes, but mushroom taxonimists keep on changing it's official name so I don't know what its called these days, but its still edible regardless.
>> No. 12853 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 9:53 am
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Is this good eating?
Web doesn't seem to say, one way or another.
>> No. 12854 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 1:11 pm
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I'm no expert but have you considered setting up a GoFundMe instead?

>> No. 12184 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 1:56 am
12184 Beef Jerky
I got one of these for christmas so I made some beef jerky.
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>> No. 12277 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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Have you tried using tamari instead of soy sauce? I have a feeling it'd work well with one of these; more umami.
>> No. 12279 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:46 pm
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No. I'll have a look for it next time I'm at an Asian supermarket.
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
12th September 2018
Wednesday 9:38 pm
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I just got one to do my glut of figs. They've been going for 30 hours so far, and still have some way to go. Testing them from time to time - Mmm, warm, concentrated figgy goodness. Even if they don't dry out properly (I just quartered them), they're ridiculously nice.
Apples next, once the fig glut is cleared.
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:27 pm
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Figs are pretty big, I hope you sliced them up first.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:31 pm
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>>12741 (I just quartered them)

they came out great, very happy with the results. Will be drying out all sorts of things now.As a way of smoothing out peaks of stuff from the garden, it's got a lot going for it - saves ramming the freezer full of stuff that isn't improved by freezing. Still throwing out over 200kg of duff apples a week, it's been a really shitty year for that, with the mad weather.

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