|>>|| No. 3457
Firstly, you'll never, ever find a country close enough to Germany to be practical, that has English as their primary language, that isn't here or Ireland - Cork is quite nice if that's a hard limit. Otherwise, if you want everything else you describe, I'd recommend just sucking it up and dealing with the language thing. The sacrifice of having to scratch your head a bit longer at your taxes once a year seems worth it to live in your ideal location. The other possibility is somewhere further afield (like yankville), and then the sacrifice is just long flights but you get to keep your fear of languages.
Importantly, in any euro country you'll certainly find that everyone speaks English and you'll also absorb the language even if you think you won't, so I wouldn't worry too much. You have to go really, really deep into the sticks to find people who can't speak english these days. Most of these countries also have great resources for expats, I know for sure that in Germany you have SteurGo which is a service for doing your taxes that is entirely in English - I can't imagine they're the only ones.
There are plenty of places abroad that are essentially ex-pat havens anyway, Dordogne in France springs to mind, where you'll essentially be living in an English town anyway.