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>> No. 11860 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 11:38 pm
11860 Moving into IT
Lads, I want to start a real career and I'd like to ask for your help.

I've been working as a private Mathematics tutor for nigh on five years now and I'm in a rut. Due to a combination of immaturity and personal issues whose details I won't bore you with I underperformed at uni and walked away from Manchester with a third in Physics. Not brilliant, but my own fault. I stumbled into the tutoring lark while looking for jobs but once I'd found I could make a comfortable living doing it little has changed in my life. I've been happy enough cruising through my twenties with my own place, girlfriends, , plenty of free time, all that good jazz, but something terrible has happened.

A few days ago I woke up and realised I'm hurtling towards 30 without any kind of solid career and little idea on how to retrain and at what level. As much as I enjoy being a tutor there isn't much in the way of progression and it's something I now feel I'd be happier doing to stay active when I'm retired. My friends have developed this alarming habit of getting married, one git actually has children as well, and I'm getting more left behind every day. I'm at the stage where people I know are always getting promoted or discussing mortgage and when I'm asked what I'm doing I start to wince at hearing myself repeat the same story.

Despite my third I'm not a complete thicko. I'm very good at Maths, as is expected of me, and I can write basic programs in quite a few languages, mostly C++, Java and Python. But my CV is all but empty spare for my tutoring and a clutch of very good A-levels which I'm sure count for fuck all. I have no references, no internships, essentially no indication that I can do much at all. I've been forbidden from entering teaching proper, not that I'd fancy doing it anyway, so for any other line of work I look like a blank slate.

Beggars can't be choosers and I'm not fussy about what area of IT I'd train for but would prefer something neither crushingly dull or likely to be automated within a few years. If I had the freedom to choose it would be something like data analysis, since I actually enjoy identifying statistical trends and building models based on them. What areas would you recommend and what qualifications are worth pursuing/ignoring?

Apologies if this is all a bit vague. Any guidance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
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>> No. 12469 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:01 pm
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>>12390

An MSc probably won't pay off, because it's an expensive course and it's not massively more valuable to employers than a BSc. Your physics degree already demonstrates that you can deal with complex abstractions, which is the key aptitude across the IT industry.

Broadly speaking, good employers are more concerned with practical experience than formal qualifications. Being able to say "I did x, y and z at my last job" counts for more than "I learned x, y and z in a classroom". The kind of people you want to work for are capable of sussing out your real level of competence at interview. They also know that it's possible to bullshit your way through an academic qualification even if your practical skills are weak or nonexistent. It's a known problem that many Computing graduates are completely incapable of actually writing code [1]. Companies that really care about qualifications tend to be more bureaucratic and have non-technical managers, neither of which is good for workplace morale or your promotion prospects.

There are also a range of industry certifications that are much less costly than a Masters and highly respected - in the case of security, the CISSP and the CCIE Security Track. There are also some much less respected certifications that might impress a non-technical manager but are mickey mouse to the nth degree, so tread carefully.

[1] https://blog.codinghorror.com/why-cant-programmers-program/

>>12466

Avoid recruiters like the plague. Everyone in the industry despises them. They're cynical opportunists who are just trying to scam employers out of a referral fee by spamming them with hundreds of candidates. Try to learn some stuff off your own back, apply for real vacancies and network as much as possible - if you live near a city of any real size, there should be plenty of IT meetups and networking events.
>> No. 12473 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 7:09 pm
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>>12469

Yeah, thanks, I already knew about that. The problem is that 99% of the job offers that I see online are from recruiters/agencies. I will try to look for some meetups, that's a good idea.
>> No. 12474 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 8:52 pm
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>>12473
Ask around for recommendations when it comes to recruiters. People in your area will typically know who are the ones that know their stuff and who to avoid. I got my current job through a recruiter that was recommended to me, and the process was surprisingly light on bullshit.

Absolutely never approach an agency through the front door though. Get a name and contact that person directly.
>> No. 12475 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 9:04 pm
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>>12474

Sound advice, but easier said than done. I do not know anyone in the area apart from my former teacher, but he's a complete idiot more interested in box ticking than in actually teaching.
>> No. 12476 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 10:19 pm
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>>12469
I agree with your advice on qualifications, particularly in information security; experience is far more important than any certificate. Another good way people get started in security is to actually work in an operations or support department of IT - those are are very good places to start "at the bottom" and work your way up in.

I don't agree so much with your recruiter advice though - you're definitely right that most of them are wankers, but they're still a necessary evil. Even if you start by looking directly at the various job-sites, nearly everything is done through a recruiter, very few companies actually recruit direct (civil/public servants excepted).

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>> No. 12358 Anonymous
10th June 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Have any of you lad/lassm8s held a regular job while being a spare time military reserve?

I'm learning nothing new in my bland corporate job, so I'm thinking of trying for something like communications in the RAF.

Tell me why this idea is silly/great.
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>> No. 12366 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:28 pm
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OP here. The more I search this idea, the more appealing it becomes. I was also looking for paid work to do in my off-time.

I imagine that most companies aren't particularly thrilled to hear you'll be signing up. How can I break this to them gently and not lose my bland corporate job?
>> No. 12367 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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>>12366
I think thats the easy part actually - most employers will be pleased you're doing something like this out of work, even with the attendant risks. Also, I think its totally illegal for them to try and get rid of you while you're a reservist.
>> No. 12369 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:51 pm
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>>12366

You'll need to check your contract of employment - some contracts have a clause restricting your right to work elsewhere. The MoD will inform your employer that you've signed up, so you do need to tell them.

If you do get deployed, your employer is legally obliged to keep your job open for you, but they don't have to keep paying your salary while you're away. The MoD will pay most of the costs of recruiting and training a temporary replacement, so they won't be significantly out of pocket unless you're genuinely irreplaceable.

All reservist units have an Employer Support Officer who can advise you on how to talk to your employer about enlisting. Serving as a reservist can be sold to your employer in positive terms - you'll gain teamwork and leadership skills, you're doing your bit for the country etc.

It's also worth checking to see if your employer has signed the Armed Forces Covenant.

https://www.gov.uk/employee-reservist/financial-support-for-employers

https://www.armedforcescovenant.gov.uk/get-involved/who-has-signed-the-covenant/
>> No. 12444 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 6:51 pm
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It’s alright, more work than you might want and it can get repetitive but then you’re also being paid to have a laugh with your mates. Best bet is to pop in for a few evenings and do a weekend, see how you feel about it.

>communications in the RAF

I thought you wanted to be involved with the military?

>>12359
>but you could easily get called up into a war zone

Keep this a secret from wives and employers but you can easily say no. It’s not like the American national guard, you volunteer.

Only time you'll be at risk of being 'called up' is if Ivan’s dropping little buckets of sunshine all over the midlands but the internet will probably be down anyway.
>> No. 12446 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 7:34 pm
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>>12444

>Keep this a secret from wives and employers but you can easily say no. It’s not like the American national guard, you volunteer.

Check your contract m8. Historically they have asked for volunteers, but the Army 2020 Refine made it clear that the intention is to draw more heavily on the Army Reserve to allow for a substantial reduction in the number of regulars. Mandatory mobilisation did happen in the early years of Herrick and is far more likely in future.

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>> No. 12435 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 1:27 pm
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Have any of you managed to work at a nightclub and yet maintain an existence fit for a human being? I've not been at it long, but my weight has yo-yo'd (probably have a diagnosable binge eating disorder now) and while I get a bit of a buzz from the long hours of exhausting work, I now feel like a zombie most of the time.
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>> No. 12441 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 6:55 pm
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>>12440

Sorry mate, they're not really designed to block out noise as much as a comfortable pair of headphones to sleep with.

If an in-ear type earphone isn't cancelling out the noise, then it's difficult to know what to recommend. It's probably similar to what you've got already, but maybe: https://www.flareaudio.com/collections/isolate
>> No. 12442 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 9:28 pm
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>>12440

In-ear headphones have less sound-blocking power than ear plugs, because there needs to be a channel for the sound to reach your eardrum.

Ideally you'd get a pair of custom-fit earplugs, but they're rather expensive. I have a pair of ACS custom plugs that I'm very happy with; they offer plugs specifically designed for sleeping for £79.

https://acscustom.com/uk/products/hearing-protection/other/sleepsound

If you're using normal foam earplugs, the ability of the plugs to block sound is hugely dependent on finding a pair that fits you well. I'd suggest buying a selection pack of different styles, which will help you find the best compromise between noise blocking and comfort. This assortment includes 11 pairs for £3.49. Once you've found a good fit, you can buy them by the box for very little.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Disposable-Variety-3M-Honeywell-Moldex/dp/B00B1STC2C

It might be possible to double up with earplugs and ear defenders if you sleep on your back and don't move much during sleep. The least bulky option is the Peltor Optime I, which is available with either a normal headband or a behind-the-neck band. The combination provides an astounding level of noise reduction, equivalent to being profoundly deaf.

https://www.arco.co.uk/products/247100
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>> No. 12443 Anonymous
30th July 2018
Monday 12:33 am
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I used to work in a nightclub. Horrible job.
>> No. 12462 Anonymous
2nd August 2018
Thursday 2:49 pm
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>>12440
Don't work nights if you can - it's terrible for your health.

https://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2015/oct/28/night-shift-three-million-workers-health-risks-obesity-cancer-diabetes
>> No. 12463 Anonymous
2nd August 2018
Thursday 5:07 pm
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>>12462
I loved the first little exchange in the comments. Tom fucking Jones.

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>> No. 12399 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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World citizens, tell me about your experiences living and working (or travelling) abroad. I'm not well travelled myself, and it is something I'd like to do. I'm at a "career junction" at the moment, and I have FOMO - that while I'm tappity tapping away at my keyboard and supping instant coffee in an airconned open-plan, there's a mad rush of "real activity" and opportunity in Africa, China and India.

Apologies for the duplicate post.
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>> No. 12413 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
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Is 24/25 too old to get on board (mirth) with something like the Merchant Navy? I'm a web dev by trade but I feel that it's much more suited to a hobby. I'm in good physical shape but not so much mentally and I figure a lot of that is down to my dissatisfaction with the state of the country and my own career.

Any advice or anecdotes would be great, especially those focusing on South-East Asia (Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, etc.)
>> No. 12415 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:06 pm
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>>12413
A narrated video guide for what you can expect:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGuy0jievs
>> No. 12416 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:20 pm
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>>12413
Not too old. There's no requirement to be in physical shape. I have no advice as I didn't stick it long. Being a webdev is cushy, being in an engine room not so much. While the ETO cadet who has been working shit jobs since he's 16 will appreciate solid hours and qualifications (and qualifications is why you do it - not for travel, because there's no guarantee of shore runs in any ports), you may not. The best companies are BP, Shell and the RFA, followed by the "big container companies". That said, for the college portions of the training the point is moot, as you all study at the same colleges (Warsash, Fleetwood or somewhere in Scotland) and take the same modules. Start a MN thread if you want to discuss this.
>> No. 12417 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 5:00 pm
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>>12416
Isn't this the point of the thread, to talk about the MN, and any other jobs which involve travel?
>> No. 12423 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:23 pm
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>>12416

Being a deck officer can be a bit cushy. 90% of the job is drinking tea, smoking fags, and staring out of the window.

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>> No. 12376 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 3:59 am
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My usual summer job of nights at ASDA has fallen through so I've found myself working in a supermarket distribution centre.

It's absolutely gruelling I wouldn't mind it particularly if they didn't enforce six hours without so much as a cig break being allowed. The shifts are nine hours and only one 30 minute break is given, when the manager says you can.

I thought the H&SAW1974 specified a 5 mins break for every hour?

Pic taken in the bogs at the place.
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>> No. 12386 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>12378

Look what happened to Elvis.
>> No. 12387 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:25 pm
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>>12384

No it's the Middle Eastern enrichers, our first world toilets are confusing for third world poopers.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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>>12385
It's absolute tedium. Even when "busy" - it's the most mind numbing work that in a lot of places has been automated. 9 hours feels like 9 months. I have insoles.

>>12383
The supermarket was about £3 over minimum wage - night work.

The break was, across 8 hours, up to 30 mins (unpaid) for dinner break, and another 10 min (paid) break towards the end of the night, but you could take them whenever you felt like. If you took less break you'd be paid.
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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>>12388
I should also add I've worked in a car factory - 9h30 shifts with regular, timed breaks and allowances made for small rests. The union was particularly strong there, thought.
>> No. 12391 Anonymous
19th June 2018
Tuesday 7:26 pm
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Well, the job has brought my long-dormant joint problems back - I had to crawl up and down stairs; that's the end of that, I guess.

I tried explaining this to the agency and the first time they didn't listen to a word I said, offering me the job I'm already on. When I said everything again, and asked if they had any less physical jobs - driving, or data entry for example, I got the world's blankest look, like I'd spoken to them in Klingon.

I've said I can't work until I get a doctor's appointment. Trying to fight for a doctor's appointment is battle royale on the phone lines.

Looking for temporary jobs, you either need a class C+ licence to drive, or it's the same brutal warehouse work which my own body will not let me do.

Guess I'll just have to keep looking.

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>> No. 12310 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 7:14 am
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I attended a couple of session with an employment advisor for disabled people. I honestly want to get back to work and I am about to get a qualification. He gave me some advice:

* Go to civil service portal and apply to all office based jobs, even those that I am completely unqualified for.

* Also, not having a clue of how to do the job or even what the job entails is completely not a problem.

* Go to a charity and ask them for advice. It turned out that the charity had absolutely nothing available and was specialised for older people asking their employers to make workplace adjustments.

* Apply for everything under the sun. If I cannot do my job, lose my benefits and get fired, that is not a problem. "You have got to accept some risks if you want to improve your situation."

* Try to wheedle more money from the local council.

* Be more positive, smile more.


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>> No. 12312 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 10:04 am
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>>12311

I had the same idea. Well, at least we ticked a lot of boxes, we made a lot of paperwork and we managed to keep another useless person employed. Holy fuck, this country is so fucked up that it makes the Administratum from 40K look sane.
>> No. 12313 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 1:24 pm
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I think the problem here is that 9 out of 10 people going to see these advisers do actually need that level of advice.
>> No. 12314 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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>>12313

I think you got it right. I never thought that some people could sincerely need this kind of help.

By the way, I know people under ESA and all of them are perfectly able bodied, working cash in hand and enjoying the benefits. Probably the people that honestly want to get back in the workforce are a minority.
>> No. 12375 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 3:08 pm
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Jesus Fucking Christ


I had the last meeting with the advisor, and finally had enough. I told him to fuck off. I've never seen so much uselessness in a single place.

First, he tried to contact several government offices. None of them answered, assuming that he made the enquiries in the first place.
Second, his winning advice was to print paper copies of my CV and sent them to random employers, since "an email can be deleted immediately, a paper CV has more value." Some employees answered, all telling him to just email a CV in the website.
Third, when I asked what incentives are being given to the employers to hire disabled people, he answered "no tangible benefits apart for gaining potentially a great employer and good publicity for the company". I tried to tell him that money talks, bullshit walks, but he answered that "you only have to get lucky once".


That program is a total scam. More than one million pounds have been spent in an useless program that gives no real, tangible help to disabled people. This is Third World level of corruption and mismanagement.

If you ever see a leaflet or a poster in a public place advertising a gov't program to help disabled people to go into work, run away. It's a scam, and it is geared towards stopping your benefits since you are well enough to look for work by yourself.

Fuck my life.
>> No. 12381 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 1:27 pm
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>>12312

Back in the day, 40k was satirical to some extent. What do you think they based all that on

Now let's all go watch the Adam Curtis documentary about the grace of caring machines or whatever it was called. Sums things up nicely. We individual humans are now little more in input/output units in some cont'd spreadsheet.

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>> No. 12215 Anonymous
23rd April 2018
Monday 12:33 pm
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Lads, does an 'informal' interview warrant a suit? Call centre job.
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>> No. 12368 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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>>12215
Always. Dress for the job you want.
>> No. 12370 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 10:43 am
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>>12368
I went to my last interview dressed like Batman and I got kicked out of the reception by security. So that piece of advice is obviously bollocks.
>> No. 12371 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 11:59 am
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>>12370
Alright, which comedian did you nick that off? If you didn't prepare to see Lee Mack saying it on Live at the Apollo soon.
>> No. 12372 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 5:14 pm
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>> No. 12373 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 12:34 am
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>>12372
Fair enough.

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>> No. 12198 Anonymous
22nd April 2018
Sunday 6:35 pm
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Is the Financial independence Retire Early (FIRE) idea a fantasy?
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>> No. 12304 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:25 pm
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>>12302
It's not very profitable, especially if you earn money elsewhere since it's taxable income now.
>> No. 12305 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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>>12304
It's always been taxable income. The ongoing change removes the mortgage interest deductible which, yes, will increase taxable income for many.
>> No. 12306 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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>>12304>>12305
Only if you declare it.
>> No. 12307 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:59 pm
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>>12306
Sure, double down on the dickishness by dodging your dues too.
>> No. 12308 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 2:18 pm
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>>12307

That's lovely alliteration.

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>> No. 12171 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 5:19 pm
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On a works night out a female manager kicked me in the balls twice, lots of witnesses, I work for a very large food chain retailer, Could I sue?
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>> No. 12177 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 7:01 pm
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Why did she do it?
>> No. 12179 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 8:12 pm
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I'm guessing 'banter'
>> No. 12181 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 1:10 am
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>>12176

You need to report her to the police before HR really. It's assault.
>> No. 12183 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 1:55 am
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>>12171

I'm calling bollocks.
>> No. 12187 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 9:29 am
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Stop being a silly fanny, she wants the cock.

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>> No. 12159 Anonymous
8th April 2018
Sunday 9:19 pm
12159 Big Softie
Hi guys. I'm pretty unhappy at work. I've been a software developer for 6 months. My team contribution is negligible. I doubt the value of the work, and particularly the value of my work. I'm quite isolated. I stay late most days and take work home for the weekend. It's a big open-plan but I say maybe 3 sentences in a day. I want to ask my manager if I can move onto a different project where I'm able to contribute but it feels inappropriate. I'm not sure if I'm learning anything, and if I am, whether what I'm learning is valuable. I don't want to leave because if I can't hack a job sitting on my ass for 9 hours, what job can I hack. It seems as though people would kill to get into software, so shouldn't I be counting my blessings?

After my whinge, can you tell me about crises and direction changes in your careers?
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>> No. 12166 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 6:50 pm
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Is it a dick move to take a full time permanent job, with the intention to leave after four months? I suspended uni for the year, managed to get a full time job offer this month, but I'm planning on returning to uni in September.
>> No. 12167 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 7:07 pm
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>>12166
Depends on the job, how easy to replace are you? If the answer is very, don't sweat it.
>> No. 12168 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 7:59 pm
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>>12166
I recently interviewed for a community health organisation who said they were desperate to staff their temporary role because as soon as they train someone up they leave for a permanent position elsewhere. So I'd say yeah try not to fuck people around if they are doing good work.
>> No. 12169 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 9:30 pm
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I am a software developer of ~10 years.

>>12159
> It's a big open-plan but I say maybe 3 sentences in a day.

Open plan offices are less sociable than small ones, in my experience: its more difficult to have a conversation with the people in your team when you can hear five other people talking and you have people constantly walking around you.

It can also be hard to get to know people in a big office where everyone seems to be working on something different. You have to make an effort to talk to people, ask them what they are doing, how long they have worked there, how their weekend was, etc.

> I want to ask my manager if I can move onto a different project where I'm able to contribute but it feels inappropriate. I'm not sure if I'm learning anything, and if I am, whether what I'm learning is valuable

Ask your manager to move, and tell them what you feel about not learning anything. Dealing with requests like that is part of their job as your manager. Its not inappropriate.

You could try a different company, too. Work environment and the friendliness of your colleagues vary *alot*.
>> No. 12170 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 9:52 pm
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How big is the company you work for, and the dev team within that?

I've never worked for a big company, but I can imagine hating it. Both jobs I've had in software have been for small companies (10 or so people), and I've found it generally decent. I get on well with everyone, support guys, sales guys etc. It's a whole different culture: basically just get shit done, without too much management bollocks in the way.

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>> No. 12145 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 3:39 pm
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bois.

In Jan I had a weird incident when driving, it was like a blackout for <1 seconds but it was enough to be noticable. I may have just fallen asleep.

Anyway I've been referred to the neurological unit about it. I just learnt an 'unexplained' blackout can be liable to having your driving license revoked for 12 months.

This is utterly devastating. I cannot operate without my car, I live 45 miles from work for fucks sake and public transport would take me 3h one way at best and cost a shittonne to boot.

How do I dig myself out of this

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/neurological-disorders-assessing-fitness-to-drive#transient-loss-of-consciousness--solitary-episode
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>> No. 12153 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 5:33 pm
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>>12149
>Fuck all that 'putting other people at risk' shit, if it happens I'll be sorry then
Well, yeah, if that happens being unable to drive for a year will be the least of your problems.
>> No. 12154 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 5:59 pm
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>>12153
Yes, it will, but until then I am able to support myself. After that I will not.
>> No. 12155 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 6:18 pm
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It's all making sense now.

The rumours on /iq/ about Peter Kay. A thread here about potential brain defects and talk of joining a car pool. There's news articles today about the finale of Peter Kay's Car Share. It's all adding up. Keep your eyes open, lads.

We've been invaded by subliminal advertisers, lads.
>> No. 12156 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 6:24 pm
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>>12154
In that case, I hope you like it up the bum.
>> No. 12158 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 8:47 pm
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>>12145

My advice blackoutlad is to take a look at yourself and not be another Harry Clarke. He was the fatty binwagon driver that also experienced blackouts due to a medical condition and held it back from his employer to keep his job. You just don't know what's going to happen. I've just been through a central nervous system issue and I know how these changes can affect the quality of life you led before your body or head decided to shit on you, picking up the pieces and adapting afterwards can be right fuckabout. I know it's a depressing mindfuck but I'd never be able to live with the thought that I'd blacked out on the road and wiped out a family or some kids on the way to school. I wish you the best otherlad but sometimes you have to accept the inevitable and live with it amongst support and love. All the best mate and hope you don't go proper mental.

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>> No. 12126 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 7:55 pm
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Evening, lads.

I've found myself in the position where I'm responsible for recruitment for my department at work. The main problem is that I really despise recruitment consultants and I know that the moment I place an advert on traditional job websites they'll start hounding me. I really cannot underline how much I hate them. Consequently, I want to consider alternative forms of recruiting and I can only think of two off the top of my head:-

• A staff referral scheme. They had this at the place I worked before and I'd have said almost a third of staff in the equivalent department were recruited in this way; a payment of up to £3,000 was made for each person you referred, depending on their skills and experience, and this was a lot cheaper than recruitment consultants.

• Targeting universities. This would be playing the long game as we'd be talking at least 2/3 years of entry level work before they'd be grounded enough to take a trainee position in my department but there's no harm in getting the ball rolling now. I wouldn't be arsed to go to any careers fairs, but I know universities these days are competitive and like to do all they can to improve their graduate employability figures so I could probably place an advert with them and let them do all the running.

Anything else you lads can think of?
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>> No. 12140 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 10:49 pm
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>>12136
> What's wrong with the likes of implementing a staff referral scheme

You run the risk of people dragging in anyone with a pulses in hopes of getting them hired for the bonus, coaching them for phone screens and interviews using insider knowledge. Additionally, it can cause friction if you chose not to hire a referal with whom your existing employee has a good relationship or otherwise thinks highly off.

But then again, a referred candidate likely has a decent idea of what the job involves and is thus more likely to apply for the job because they want that role in particular. Additionally, if suitable candidates are scarce, it gives you an in with people already employed elsewhere who might be tempted to switch jobs.

Overall its a reasonable method to find candidates, but it's certainly not a no-brainer.
>> No. 12141 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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>>12140
>people already employed elsewhere who might be tempted to switch jobs
Bear in mind that you'll have to pay a substantial premium for these, which together with the referral fee might eat up any savings you make against the cuntsultant's commission. Certainly if I were the person being referred for a fee, I'd be wanting a similar amount myself as a signing-on bonus, on top of an above-market salary.
>> No. 12143 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 2:11 am
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I always just put 'NO AGENCIES - no finders fee available' at the bottom. If any agents ring just tell them you already stated no agencies and hang up. It's not that big a deal, and you'll probably not get any contacting you.
>> No. 12144 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 7:49 pm
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Make it a good place to work, then advertise the fact. Simple.
>> No. 12180 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 8:22 pm
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I rang around recruitment consultants yesterday morning. They really are masters of bullshit. Most of them have placed job adverts with almost entirely fictitious descriptions of the company. Some have inflated the salary on offer by over £20,000 despite this being discussed clearly on the phone. It's also apparent that a number of recruitment consultants we don't have fee agreements with have cloned the adverts, so any candidates who send their CVs over to them will be utterly fucked if we don't agree to their terms.

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>> No. 12102 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 6:45 pm
12102 Looking for jobs outside NHS
So I've worked for the NHS most of my adult life and whenever I've needed a job I've just gone on the NHS jobs website. I'm now considering leaving the NHS and looking for something maybe related but not with the same level of bullshit, I guess.

How do normal people find jobs?
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>> No. 12116 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 10:02 pm
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>>12115 It's not the higher pay, and I'm fully aware that the NHS has good pension, good workers rights and more annual leave. To be honest, I work for a trust that's in very bad shape and I'm just getting sick of the sense of hopelessness, being asked to do more with less and short-term political manoeuvres in upper management that just tick a box and do nothing to improve patient care.

I suppose I've been a bit vague in what I'm after. I'd quite like something perhaps in a school or university or GP surgery, so I'm not completely selling out and going fully private healthcare. I've got a fair bit of experience and additional qualifications so I wouldn't be looking at being a staff nurse, I'd want to be looking at having something more independent, I guess. Just with less of the bullshit.

But I'll fully admit, you might be right that I might be just be thinking the grass is greener.
>> No. 12117 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 11:03 pm
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>>12106

https://jobs.thirdsector.co.uk/jobs/operations-and-service-delivery/
https://jobs.theguardian.com/jobs/support-services/
https://jobs.theguardian.com/jobs/mental-health-2/

You'll have to sift through a lot of shitty support worker jobs offering £7.80 an hour, but there are a few interesting vacancies mixed in there.

>>12107

>we generally aren't the most popular of folk

I don't know why. You do a fucking hard job for nowhere near enough money in a totally broken system. Fair play, I couldn't stick it.
>> No. 12119 Anonymous
7th March 2018
Wednesday 1:54 am
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I should listen to Goblin again.
>> No. 12120 Anonymous
7th March 2018
Wednesday 2:06 am
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>>12116
Try and get a job in a prison, my mate worked in one for a year after he graduated and he said it's interesting and because you're the gate keeper of the drugs they are very polite.

Or, now bear with me, you could move to Scotland. They have the best performing NHS in Britain and if you're experienced I foresee no issues in securing a job before you flit.
>> No. 12121 Anonymous
7th March 2018
Wednesday 6:56 pm
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>>12110
Actually, a big part of the price premium is to do with the funding model.

As a member of permanent staff, your post is funded from the trust's operational budget, which means it's subject to the stresses of below-inflation increases (i.e. real-terms cuts), and the resulting pressure on the trust to identify what they do best and find more ways of doing less of it better. If they need an extra nurse but there's no headroom in the operational budget, they can't create the post.

As agency staff are effectively either at-will or for a fixed term, the accountants can do a bit of voodoo and charge them to capital budgets. If they need an extra nurse but don't have the funding to create a post, they can spend money from other budgets on agency and contract staff.

The agencies know that they are providers of last resort, so can gouge to fuck. They also know that if they can poach staff away from payroll, that directly increases demand for their services. That means an agency can effectively take an NHS employee away from and hire them back to the same trust at a premium. In order to be able to attract staff, knowing they aren't offering the same benefits they have to offer significantly higher pay, otherwise nobody would join them.

tl;dr fatcats gonna fat.

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>> No. 12053 Anonymous
25th February 2018
Sunday 10:28 pm
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I'm 25 and working in engineering (though not an engineer) and cannot countenance the idea of being paid as shittily as I am now the rest of my life.

How do I train myself up to go into fintech or something like that? Don't really care what it is. Just something with decent money. I'm fucking sick of being a poor cunt.
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>> No. 12059 Anonymous
26th February 2018
Monday 5:11 pm
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>>12058

That raises more questions than it answers.
>> No. 12060 Anonymous
26th February 2018
Monday 6:52 pm
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>>12056

>I have two degrees

Look into graduate schemes then, mate. Honestly if we're having to tell you this then I'm not sure you have much hope.

>>12057

Is it not a dodgy MR2 replica or summat?
>> No. 12072 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 8:43 pm
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>>12056
>>12060
Definitely a bodykit on a cheap car. The main giveaways being the engine cover/c-pillar area and the wheels.
>> No. 12076 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 1:08 am
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>>12072
It's an MR2 bodykit, I'm 99% sure.
>> No. 12078 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 3:30 am
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>>12072

It's the C pillar that gives it away for me, plus those indicators on the front look like they're off an MX5, far too wide for an F50, and I don't think the rear wing would ever sag like that on the real car as I think it was fibreglass.

whiteline
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