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>> No. 29926 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 12:29 am
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I rarely feel comfortable. I have a dreadful attention span. I want to be able to enjoy the moment I am in.

Do you know that feeling you get when you're waiting in the doctors office? You're browsing through your phone or a two year old Top Gear magazine, yet you aren't fully reclined, you can't focus on the article, your ears are up waiting for the call. It's nothing time.

Well that's how I feel all the time. I feel like I'm waiting for something. I don't commit to anything. I have a poor attention span. Most of my 'down time' is spent thinking about what I can do to enjoy my down time. Planning out some film to watch that I won't, or a game to play that I'll quit within 10 minutes. I feel like it's an internet thing. I really believe it has ruined my attention in many ways.

This is impacting my relaxation time, it is impacting my studies, career, etc.
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>> No. 29927 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 12:35 am
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Don't be so hasty to blame the internet. It sounds like you might be scared to commit to doing just one thing, as that can seem like it closes the doors to all the other infinite possibilites of things to do.
>> No. 29928 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 12:45 am
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>>29927
I read The Shallows by Nicholas Carr last year and the author put forth a pretty convincing argument for how our thought processes are shaped by the technologies we invent. We invented the book, and the book shaped our minds to think in deep, patient, and contemplative ways. We invented the internet, and the internet is moulding our brains to constantly seek out quick hits of shallow information.

Experimenting with limiting one's internet use is definitely a good idea.

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>> No. 29901 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 1:43 am
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I can't stop sobbing, I'm not a risk to anything bad, I know it'll get easier, I'm just so unhappy my eyes sting and i'm just looking for someone to tell I can't stop crying.

A girl I love is happier with someone else, she moved on after 2 month back to her ex, I suspect they were talking whilst we were together, I just dont feel good enough, I'm a grown arse man at 27 and I can't deal with it .gs I feel pathetic. I have such AWFUL urges I KNOW i'll never indulge but they're there. I'll be happier one day but for now I'll be miserable.
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>> No. 29907 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 2:03 am
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>>29901
Allowing your pain is part of how you grow and move on.

It will get easier.
>> No. 29908 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 2:07 am
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>>29905
Two months isn't a long time when you felt strongly for someone. You'll get there. With any luck in the morning with the hangover you'll feel worse about spilling your guts on here while drunk than you do about her. And that'll pass too.
>> No. 29909 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 2:12 am
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>>29908 Is it that obvious I'm drunk?
>> No. 29911 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 2:13 am
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>>29909
Yes, you'll see why tomorrow.
>> No. 29912 Anonymous
5th August 2020
Wednesday 2:19 am
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>>29903

I realise it is terrible reductionist, but it is apparent from her terrible decision making that you have just said, that she isn't that great.


I'm sure there are elements of personality that you consider to make an ideal match you are caught up in the paradigm of life with her still. But that has passed, it can never be revisited successfully you can only move forward never back.

Focusing on what you had is about as productive as forcing yourself to ignore your hunger pains because you don't feel like starting dinner. You'll spend an enormous amount of energy on something that is actually self defeating putting off the inevitable in a way that makes you feel worse in the end.

Ultimately you don't need her, you don't actually need anyone you can be complete again without anyone else in your life but you have to getting off the couch and going to the kitchen to make that happen.

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>> No. 29836 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 7:35 pm
29836 Siblings
I feel like some of the most difficult relationships one has, particularly as you get older, are your siblings. I don't think I am the only one, but would love to share/hear other experiences.

My brother still isn't able to keep a job, find a regular place to live, or hold down normal relationships. Some of this is due to mental health issues, but not all. He steals / borrows / takes the piss/money off most people in the family. I won't abandon him, but it's getting to the point where I think we might be enabling him.

Do any of you have great relationships with your siblings as you got older?
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>> No. 29850 Anonymous
18th July 2020
Saturday 6:05 pm
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>>29848
It sounds like the weirdness is because she is depending on you in a way siblings don't. I'd gamble that like most single mothers she doesn't really have friends anymore and men don't exactly queue up to be a step-father.

Single mothers need love too m8
>> No. 29851 Anonymous
18th July 2020
Saturday 7:24 pm
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>>29850
>men don't exactly queue up to be a step-father

I seem to know a lot of lads that are punching well above their weight by going after single mums. I'm sure they're not all paedos.
>> No. 29896 Anonymous
2nd August 2020
Sunday 11:06 pm
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I find it harder and harder to connect with my sisters.

I wouldn't say we really agree with each other on any subjects and in conflicts they usually get very dramatic and emotional (and I think a bit manipulative), so basically I avoid talking to them honestly and openly.
It's really chipping away at me to be honest, I feel like I have a feigned personality when I'm around them, and I can't see any situation where they'd understand my point of view. It could be that they're in the right, but this atmosphere where fundamentally disagreeing with them causes a storm just feels wrong.

It's funny because our parents raised to understand history and culture and critical thinking and it feels like that's all gone out of the window for them, when they talk it's like they get all of their knowledge of the world from online news/trivia articles. I know that's no reason to resent your family, but I feel the gulf widening between us.
I don't really have a point or even think I'm in the right here, or that this is very important, it just bothers me a lot and I can't talk about it with anyone else really.
>> No. 29897 Anonymous
2nd August 2020
Sunday 11:16 pm
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>>29896

>and I think a bit manipulative

My ex had a fair bit of a manipulative streak whenever we got into an argument, where she'd always focus on shot-sightedly "winning" rather than addressing the issue, by resorting to underhanded tactics and saying the sort of things that do more harm than good.

It'd be easy to dismiss it as "that's birds for you innit hurr", but I have a bit of a hypothesis that it's something people who grow up competing with close siblings learn almost by necessity, and subsequently do it without realising. People with a larger age gap between siblings or only childs don't seem to display it.

Probably not much you can do about it anyway, though.
>> No. 29898 Anonymous
3rd August 2020
Monday 12:08 am
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>>29897
>resorting to underhanded tactics and saying the sort of things that do more harm than good.

Yeah that's definitely the case here, even though talking about whatever issue outside our family life shouldn't matter really, the way it's dealt with feels very alienating I think is the problem. I noticed a lot of the problems on this board aren't actually the issues mentioned by the poster but the disturbances caused by how they perceive the problem.

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>> No. 29883 Anonymous
31st July 2020
Friday 9:56 pm
29883 Pandemic Parties
Alright lads, it's one of my mates' birthdays tomorrow. With it being the height of summer and him being a bit of an attention seeking sperg, it usually means we have a full day of events, mostly involving drinking.

The only problem is this year, he has scheduled (and I really mean that, dozens of messages from him with precise times and places) pretty much the same. And this is what gets me.

I'm in Hull like 50% of .gs, and I know cases here are lower than the UK average, but in some ways "going to a new-to-us slightly rough pub, before going to a slightly rough snooker club that stayed open when it shouldn't have, then probably going to some random rough pub down Holderness Road for the FA Cup Final, then going to a restaurant" just feels like the brainwork of someone who doesn't really care for the current moment.

I don't want to feel like an irresponsible wanker, and I don't want to get Covid. I'm fat myself, I have elderly relatives I'm only a degree of contact from, my coworker I'm in close contact with has elderly parents. It's unlikely but I just wish I wasn't being made to feel like this for the sake of his ego. I'll look a right cunt if I back out now.

Thoughts?
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>> No. 29884 Anonymous
31st July 2020
Friday 10:03 pm
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If you're not comfortable don't go; if you get pissed you probably won't follow the guidelines anyway.

Tell him to go to Lantern for a steak instead.
>> No. 29886 Anonymous
31st July 2020
Friday 10:40 pm
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>>29883
I would have absolutely no qualms about telling him to fuck off and go on his own. It just seems completely irresponsible to do this right now; you'll doubtless have a great time, given that we haven't been able to do this for ages, but also, you'll become one of those statistics.

You won't look like a right cunt if you back off - the numbers have started to go up, and you don't feel comfortable going, just say that. If he starts (particularly as you say he's an attention seeker), just let him go on his own.
>> No. 29887 Anonymous
1st August 2020
Saturday 3:43 pm
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I just know we're going to get a follow-up post to this in a weeks time saying WHY DO I HAVE COVID19.
>> No. 29888 Anonymous
1st August 2020
Saturday 7:21 pm
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At least you feel bad about letting him down, but if he's a reasonable person he'll understand.

It was my birthday a few weeks ago, and instead of the big night out I had planned I just invited a couple of mates over to my flat. Both of them made extremely tepid excuses and let me down the same day. My "friends" only like me when I'm selling them drugs or otherwise fulfilling the role of event planner, soon as I ask them over for a quiet drink and a chat they can barely disguise their indifference.

Don't put yourself at risk, if he has other mates to show up he won't be too gutted. But if you're going to bail on him, at least let him know early on and be honest about it, don't just make up some shitty half arsed excuse. That's the bit that actually hurts.

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>> No. 29877 Anonymous
27th July 2020
Monday 4:19 pm
29877 How to ask for help
How do you work up the courage to ask for help and to actually act on decent advice?

I feel stuck in a rut (well have done for some time) and my anxiety and general misery doesn't seem to shift, and regret builds.

I have always struggled with deciding what I actually want out of life. When you are younger this isn't so much of an issue, but I'm 29 now and I feel I have rapidly fallen behind due to being indecisive. Whilst I have it better than a lot of people, I'm still not happy with where I am, or at least not with the options it gives me for the future. The future is no longer something I look forward to, but rather something that frightens me as I realise I have wasted many opportunities and made some bad decisions that have left me stuck in this rut. There are of course a lot of things that concern me about the future that I have little control over (political and social factors for example) that I shouldn't factor in too much, although they do make me incredibly anxious sometimes.

My parents are great, and whilst I know they love and support me, we don't speak emotionally (apart from once when my dad was very drunk and I was 21, that was nice). When I had a bit of a freak out around Christmas time, they said that if there was any issue to just tell them, they can't promise to have the solution but it's better I share things with them. Whilst I agree, it is much easier to say that than to actually honestly share my feelings and concerns (I can only ever seem to do that anonymously online). I also feel that at 29, I shouldn't be burdening them with problems, I should be at an age where I can help them out but I can't really (not that they need help).

On that note, I have had reasonable advice given online or by friends, and whilst it makes sense on paper, it is often hard to have the courage to act on it sometimes.

I was watching Withnail and I last night, and one of Danny's lines stuck with me more than normal: "If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? " - I'm scared I'm passing the point of no return.

I realise this is a rambly post, so to summarise, what is the best way to realise what you want and to stick to it, and how best to work up the courage to take on advice and ask for help?
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>> No. 29878 Anonymous
27th July 2020
Monday 6:24 pm
29878 spacer
Isn't that what you just did?
>> No. 29879 Anonymous
27th July 2020
Monday 6:47 pm
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That's a hard one, not just for the meta-quality of giving advice on how to take advice, but the individual motivations involved which actually push someone into acting.

I made a decision around 25 to really apply myself to life in a way I hadn't before. Like you, I had this impending sense of limited time, and I realised a lot of the things I envisioned myself doing would take a tremendous amount of commitment and forward planning if they were ever going to happen.

Emotionally, I realised I was very afraid of being embarrassed or otherwise uncomfortable in my efforts, but I also realised that the pain of never attempting to get what I want would be far greater than the pain of being humiliated or hurt while trying.

Sorry for the cliche response, but that's basically how it went. For the past five or six years I've obsessively planned out my life in a spreadsheet which directly relates my career to my job to my budget, month by month in concrete steps; save up this much, apply for this job, get on this training course, move to this area, all in service of achieving this goal. I check in every few weeks or so to adjust course.

It's not glamorous, but it works. I've achieved more than I thought possible in this time, and at the best of times it feels like I have control over my life.

As for actually finding the motivation -- well, I can only offer more advice which you might not take. It'll take some introspection on your part to figure out why you find it difficult to act, but from the sounds of it, it's related to a lack of overall direction. What inspires you? What do you want your life to look like?

I personally built my foundation on reading. Fiction, history, things which I felt orientated me in the world in some kind of definable position. Once I developed that base, I drew a lot of inspiration from biographies of real life people, and literature that deals especially with finding purpose. Of course, what worked for me may not work for you.

Sidenote,
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>> No. 29880 Anonymous
27th July 2020
Monday 11:56 pm
29880 spacer
I took out a help to buy ISA, something I'd been putting off for ages, and that helped me feel like I've taken control of things. In reality fuck all has changed except a direct debit for £200 a month but it's progress, and best of all progress I don't have to think about, but know is happening in the background automatically.

That's just the thing though. "In reality" fuck all changes most of the time. I want you to try a little thought experiment with me here: Say you wake up tomorrow and you decide overcome all your anxieties and burdens, by some miracle you're just rejuvenated and filled with confidence. Physically, tangibly, what actually would you be doing differently?

It's little differences here and there mostly. When you think about it bluntly and objectively like this, that's when you realise just how little power you really have over the grander course of life, but how much power you have over the things you do have power over. Say you want to sort out your career for example- In practice it's not some big drastic change, it's just logging onto Monster for half an hour each night and sending off a few more CVs. If you want to lose weight, it's not actually a huge ordeal- It's just a matter of giving up the twix and packet of crisps at lunchtime.

90% of the rest of your life, in the meantime, will still go on unchanged, on autopilot, in the meantime. But you'll have the peace of mind knowing you are doing something.

Danny says read a book about Taoism and wu-wei, that ought to sort you out.
>> No. 29882 Anonymous
30th July 2020
Thursday 12:13 am
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>>29877
>I also feel that at 29, I shouldn't be burdening them with problems

No - maybe at 49, but at your age lots of people have issues with where they are going in life. You're quite normal.

Also >>29878 is right. You just did.

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>> No. 29855 Anonymous
19th July 2020
Sunday 10:16 pm
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I feel like I've lost a lot of empathy for people, generally, and I don't put very much effort into being liked or making friends.

The exception is my romantic and sexual life. When I like someone in that way, I invest a lot in making a good impression and being kind towards them. I've been with my current girlfriend a year and things are going really well.

The problem is I've lost that drive to keep being nice in many other contexts. There used to be a social buzz from telling a good joke and charming even platonic friends, like a bit of dopamine or something, but that's just not there anymore. And since I'm already attached, naturally being flirtatious or pursuing anyone is off-limits, but that seems to be the only way I can stir myself to care.

It's got to the point I've caught myself chatting on dating apps just to feel social, and while I haven't cheated on my girlfriend, I don't know what other way that route could possibly take me. They've now been uninstalled, and I've been trying to think about why I'd feel the need to while I'm already in a good relationship.

This all leaves me feeling quite a cold and isolated individual when my girlfriend isn't around. I don't really seek to impress in groups, I keep things as minimal and professional as possible at work, I barely speak to my roommate, and I'm not particularly interested in meeting anyone new.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at or if there's a solution to this, but I recognise I could probably make life more pleasant for others if I were a bit more open... Yet I don't know if it would really do much for me, in return, which doesn't seem balanced or rewarding.

Short version: I'm only socially motivated by sex, it seems, and now that I'm satisfied in that department I've become a very distant person.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Any general comments or advice?
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>> No. 29863 Anonymous
20th July 2020
Monday 5:45 pm
29863 spacer
I don't know what to tell you in terms of a solution to the problem, OP, but I wanted to post to say that I actually find myself in almost the exact same situation.

I've got about 4-5 people I'd call actual friends, and I rarely see them compared to what you'd probably call a normal social life. I think some of that is a normal part of adulthood, you can't spend every weekend out on the lash like you did as a younger lad, but even so. I spend a lot more time chatting to various birds I've met online or used to shag, than I do with any of my male friends.

Not sure what to really do about it.
>> No. 29864 Anonymous
20th July 2020
Monday 6:18 pm
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>>29863

I don't even really have the 4 or 5 people. The only people I spend time with socially are my girlfriend, and one or two girls who I dated but never became fully involved with. I message a few friends from back home almost every day, but as far as a real social life, there's owt.

I just don't enjoy socialising with mates like I used to. To be fair, my social life when I was younger wasn't the typical go out and get smashed, but tended to be focused around close one-on-one relationships, so maybe this is just a continuation of such.

Reflecting in this thread has still got me wondering: what do I actually want, socially? If I don't enjoy impressing crowds, and I don't like hanging out with mates so much... in what environment do I even want to fit in? What sort of social environment can I create for myself?
>> No. 29865 Anonymous
20th July 2020
Monday 9:43 pm
29865 spacer
>>29864

Well I'm quite similar in that regard. When I was growing up, the village I lived in really only had one other lad in my age group who was interested in something other than just playing football and setting fire to things. So I only really had him for my early years.

Through secondary school I had a bit of a turbulent time, I'd get to know people and be mates with them but I was always more comfortable doing stuff one on one than at bigger events like parties and what have you. I more or less forced myself to do those things to avoid being a total outcast.

In early adulthood I had a reasonably respectable circle of friends, but over the last decade it's only dwindled further and further. Out of the 4-5 people I mentioned, I consider two of them my actual friends, who I'm comfortable inviting over or asking if I can come round to hang out at theirs, but I still only do so every month or two.

I think I was always shy but as an adult I've just sort of given up on it because it's too much hassle, and I don't want to feel like I'm bothering anyone. The longer it's gone on, the less I can be arsed- There's been plenty of times they've flaked out on plans and such and I've just stopped bothering trying to organise things any more.

I think like someone else said, it's just turning into a bit of a grumpy old git and is somewhat inevitable. I think you should probably make an effort to keep one or two close mates for the sake of your own sanity, but otherwise I really wouldn't worry about it.
>> No. 29871 Anonymous
26th July 2020
Sunday 8:06 am
29871 spacer
OP here. Girlfriend is away for another three weeks. I'm too much of a grumpy shite to get in touch with any old uni friends or colleagues, I didn't enjoy their company much. On the other hand, I don't particularly want to spend the next 21 days in isolation, either.

I've been going to the gym like crazy, being very productive (even working weekends etc.) and I even made the time to meet up with someone that helped me out during my last big move. This is a girl that I almost dated, but didn't. Nothing happened, nor did I want it to, but I'm not going to lie -- it was exhilarating to be around a girl I shared a bit of chemistry with. The only social interaction I've properly enjoyed since the girlfriend left.

I don't think it's healthy for me to only be social with people I want to fuck, but here we are. I've been thinking about joining tinder yet again but have not.

Should I just bite the bullet and make the effort to hang out with someone I don't have those feelings for, and see how it goes? I don't know if I'll enjoy it, exactly...
>> No. 29872 Anonymous
26th July 2020
Sunday 9:16 am
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>>29864

>in what environment do I even want to fit in? What sort of social environment can I create for myself?

Get a hobby and join a club. You can be sufficiently sociable to avoid turning into a reclusive nutter without having to make any real effort. Golf, angling, snooker, model trains, whatever - they're all just ways for men to hang out with each other without any pressure to have a proper conversation. It's a bit tricky at the moment because of the plague, but clubs provide the kind of nodding-terms familiarity that keeps men sane.

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>> No. 29840 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 3:53 am
29840 Accidental pedo
I accidentally saw some child nudity on youtube and now I feel dirty about it. What can I do?
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>> No. 29841 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 7:41 am
29841 spacer
Turn yourself in to the police. You're a sex offender guilty of making an indecent image of a child which is is punishable with a maximum of ten years in prison. Don't try and escape justice; do the morally right thing.
>> No. 29842 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 7:45 am
29842 spacer
>>29840
If it was genuinely on YouTube - just report it to them. If you’ve downloaded and saved it from somewhere else’s you have different issues.
>> No. 29843 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 8:25 am
29843 spacer
>>29840
>I accidentally saw some child nudity
Oh, aye, yeah?
>> No. 29846 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 10:26 pm
29846 spacer
>>29840
We are not your lawyer, but there has been test cases where images that were cached by a browser, but not opened or saved were used to initially condemn someone BUT that was theN overturned in court.

The mods went through a period of having to delete massive amounts of CP spam and none of them, to my knowledge, were jailed.

Report it to YT and move on with your life. Why is this a thread?
>> No. 29847 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 11:12 pm
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>>29840
>now I feel dirty about it. What can I do?

Depends. do you like feeling dirty? I bet you do you filthy little tart.

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>> No. 29802 Anonymous
23rd June 2020
Tuesday 12:55 pm
29802 Therapy, again
I know that there is at least one psychotherapist reading this. I have spent the last years trying in vain to get some decent therapy. I have some serious issue and need somebody that would dig into the deep recesses of my mind, figure out what the fuck is wrong with me, and confront it until I can be well again. Now when I tell a therapist about my problems the only response is "well I'm sorry you feel that way, have you thought about getting a hobby or trying some relaxation meditation?" The therapists I have seen can only repeat what is written on the NHS website verbatim. No one of them seemed able to understand what I was saying and give a meaningful advice, it was just parroting those vapid and shallow self-help tips of that website.

Is there any way to get decent mental healthcare in UK without spending 90 quids at hour?
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>> No. 29804 Anonymous
23rd June 2020
Tuesday 5:53 pm
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This is something I've wondered about for a long time - much so infact that I've even considered learning tarot cards for myself - in the sense that you observe your reaction and thought process to the ideas proposed by a random card spread, rather than fortune reading. It seems like the kind of thing that'll be vulnerable to bias and feedback loops, though maybe you could counter these with meditation, I don't know.
I recognise that's is pretty woo, but whatever - atleast you could have a little laugh and forget about working on your problems for a moment.

I've found my deep seated confusions to calm considerably when i've spent months about the country side - having their buzz reduced helps you notice 'your self' that much better. Delve into those confusions and don't stop at the first convenient answer; try to link what comes up with childhood memories; seek to refute rather than confirm; etc. After a while you might get to notice that little twitch you make that indicative of decipt or discomfort - so you've found a vulnerability worth investigation. Again there's the bias but you can recognise a good deal of yourself by doing stuff like this.

It all does feel dismissive - essentially entertain yourself until death so you don't have to stare the abyss that appears as a human soul (or some shit). It's really a spiritual matter which our culture has yet to to address (or done so poorly with christianity?).

I'm going all over the place here.
>> No. 29806 Anonymous
23rd June 2020
Tuesday 7:05 pm
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>>29804

Mate, how stoned/drunk are you?
>> No. 29814 Anonymous
29th June 2020
Monday 9:18 pm
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Have you thought about dosing on LSD and joining a cult?

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>> No. 26758 Anonymous
7th June 2018
Thursday 12:03 am
26758 spacer
I've been with my gf for the past 4 years. I am 26, she 24.

I love her dearly, I don't think I'll find any one like her, she has shown so much forgiveness, so much love and care for me.

However... I am desperately looking to shag other girls. I haven't done that... although I have 'mildly' cheated numerous times by kissing girls on nights out etc. Recently however it's been really eating at me. I have an insane sexual appetite, she has quite the opposite. I've tried to address this with her so, so many times, she says she is going to work on it, and nothing happens.

I'm going to Tokyo on holiday soon. Last time I was there I resisted an incredible amount of urges, and caved to some others... I did feel guilty about these things, for a while, then it passed. I feel I have to process some sort of decision beforehand because I am an absolute animal when drunk. I change into someone who gives zero fucks in that moment.

I don't want to break up with her. I don't think I CAN. She's an ideal long-term partner, objectively speaking. She is intelligent, considerate, loving, achieving. I love her to bits. I would regret it.

I understand the common advice would be to "break up with her and shag away", but if I think about life in a calculated, sterile, 'sensible' way, then the optimum choice, the one that makes the most sense for my quality of life, my long term well-being, is to stay with her and just cheat occasionally to get it out of my system. Now I understand that isn't a very nice thing to say, but life advice generally revolves around making decisions, often difficult, that better yourself. Is that not right? Why does it differ on such an important area, relationships?
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>> No. 29797 Anonymous
13th June 2020
Saturday 8:16 pm
29797 spacer
>>29796

Lolly Badcock will cure your curtain aversion. You'll realise quicly you'd be okay with gammon hangers flopping about on your face if someone like her was talking filth to you while doing it.

Surely the more fannies you see, the less you think about how they "should" look, as you'll never find two the same. And a neat innie one feels no better or worse on my knob than a floppy outie one.
>> No. 29798 Anonymous
13th June 2020
Saturday 8:56 pm
29798 spacer
>>29797

Arsehole > fanny.
>> No. 29799 Anonymous
14th June 2020
Sunday 1:42 am
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>>29792
A female mate talked about going to one of those hot spring spas there and being surprised at the sheer volume of hair going on (I remember her doing this "poof" motion with her hands), it sounded like even trimming pubic hair was the exception. Mind that was nearly 10 years ago now, I wouldn't be too surprised to hear that tube sites had changed everything there too.

>>29796
I'm not sure that Japan, of all countries, could ever be a poster child for healthy attitudes towards sex or genitalia.
>> No. 29800 Anonymous
15th June 2020
Monday 7:34 pm
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>>29799
> I'm not sure that Japan, of all countries, could ever be a poster child for healthy attitudes towards sex or genitalia.

If rubbin' an octopus on a terrified teenage girl's crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right.
>> No. 29801 Anonymous
15th June 2020
Monday 9:17 pm
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>>29800

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>> No. 29619 Anonymous
7th May 2020
Thursday 8:24 pm
29619 Last of a dying breed?
ladm9s and lassm8s

I've always tried to live my life as a good person. I had a decent upbringing, I have a clear moral compass and I've always tried to treat others the way I'd like to be treated.

I've never EVER treated anyone differently based on their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation, and always believed in equal rights. I've also never assumed any superiority or that I have extra privilege because I'm a white male. I had to work my socks off at school, had to turn up for work and actually do my job well, etc.

HOWEVER

I find that in recent years,I feel as if I am automatically viewed as a problem just because I'm a white male. I feel like white males have become 'the enemy' and a very bad thing, and that really annoys me. As a knock - on effect, I am getting very apathetic towards feminism, LGBT+ (whom I now find myself referring to as 'the Alphabet crowd') issues etc, and just getting sick of them every time I see something like, for example, the recent furore surrounding The Last of Us 2, or any kind of media where the 'woke' agenda is very obviously being pushed at the expense of what is actually best for said media. I've gone from being totally fine and supportive with these issues/causes to borderline hating them because it feels like their progression is ultimately going to eradicate or severely marginalise white males. I'm getting particularly sick of transgenders and their bullshit being entertained as something other than what it is - mental illness that should be properly, medically treated.

I'd be interested in hearing some thoughts on this. Does my feeling like this make me a bad person? Anyone else feel the same way?

Pic unrelated

(A good day to you Sir!)
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>> No. 29659 Anonymous
8th May 2020
Friday 11:15 pm
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>>29656

N1 m8, alt right won't know wot hit it
>> No. 29660 Anonymous
8th May 2020
Friday 11:24 pm
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>>29658

>The academic logic behind the current post-modernist politics is to abolish prejudice by robbing labels of their power by making them over numerous and fluid

You'd be quite wrong, that's what they say the intention is of course, but everything about their discourse and action reveals a completely essentialist worldview where in fact labels are more important than anything else. Here's perhaps the best left wing take I've read on the matter:

https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/
>> No. 29661 Anonymous
9th May 2020
Saturday 7:11 pm
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>>29657
You would be surprised how pervasive these things have been since 2016, mate.
>> No. 29775 Anonymous
12th June 2020
Friday 9:57 am
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/pol/ philosophy (the part of it that isnt just larping or venting) and alt-right sentiment is a natural resistance to what OP is describing. If you can't recogise the rise of radical leftism in our society, you're not paying attention.

Best thing to do is just ignore it, though. That goes for (you) >>29656 too lad, if you don't like what you deem to be the rise of radical right-wingism, twisting your knickers into a knot over it won't help. Just ignore it.

These things ebb and flow.
>> No. 29782 Anonymous
12th June 2020
Friday 1:48 pm
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>>29775
>Best thing to do is just ignore it

It isn't though.

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>> No. 29754 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 11:03 pm
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Is the practice of meditation, in the pursuit of "enlightenment" a kind of self-induced schizophrenia? I started meditating last year and I've come to view the vast majority of problems people complain about as a kind of melodramatic form of mental scaffolding that they shackle themselves with just to give their brains something to do. If I hadn't learned acceptance through my meditative practices, I'd be annoyed at how whiny everyone is.
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>> No. 29757 Anonymous
7th June 2020
Sunday 12:12 am
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If you go deep into it of course. There''s a reason there are whole schools of thought about the correct way to progress in terms of a serious practice. I think for most people who do a little bit of mindfullness or whatever it won't be an issue but if you're deep diving you're gonna run into some legitimate and challenging weirdness.

I think there's probably other lads on here that would be able to elucidate a bit better, I only paddle in the shallow end for my own purposes. But I mean you're basically fundamentally fucking with your own internal thought processes and nervous system, so yeah it can be serious fucking business if you're not careful.
>> No. 29765 Anonymous
7th June 2020
Sunday 10:55 am
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A while back I read an article somewhere discussing the practices of certain organisations running courses on meditation.
In particular in the UK there have been a few places running hotels in the theme of Tibetan monasteries, where people can pay a couple of grand, they get a few lectures in meditation from some old guru-type, and then they are locked up for a week just being let out an hour a day for food and exercise in silence.

Large numbers of people going on those courses are suffering from serious psychotic breaks and having to be sectioned, because they've been dumped right in the deep end without the sort of one-on-one support and guidance that you would get in a real monastery.

>the vast majority of problems people complain about as a kind of melodramatic form of mental scaffolding
I'm a dabbler in mindfulness at most, but even at the level I'm at its made me see this in people
>> No. 29767 Anonymous
7th June 2020
Sunday 1:23 pm
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>>29765

Part of me thinks it's hilarious and the type of relive my gap yah hipster wanker who'd pay for that deserves sectioning to begin with.

I'm not sure what the other part of me thinks. I've never meditated, I've just taken loads of psychedelic drugs over the years.

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>> No. 29680 Anonymous
22nd May 2020
Friday 11:06 pm
29680 Social Distancing and a love Life
Can any of you lads able to recommend some imaginative ways to do dating with social distancing in effect. I reckon that with the recent loosening of restrictions you can maybe sit in a park and not look at one-another but is that the best you can do?

I decided to put this in /emo/ because I live alone and honestly I'm feeling a bit lonely at this point. There's online dating but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, can conversations keep flowing when you're not doing much all day? How does it even work?
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>> No. 29752 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 10:35 pm
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>>29681
Fuck sake, after 3 weeks of wasting time on dating apps I'm there but the thunder and lightning started up today. Any ideas on how I can make a convincing date tomorrow in Central London? It's not fair.
>> No. 29753 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 10:55 pm
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>>29681
>Social distancing is for shops and that, not for prospective shags.
https://uk.news.yahoo.com/coronavirus-sex-lockdown-illegal-093127804.html
>> No. 29755 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 11:57 pm
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You can still arse piss and socially distance.
>> No. 29756 Anonymous
7th June 2020
Sunday 12:07 am
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>>29752
Go for a walk somewhere. Along the river maybe or see some of the sites etc. Central is a bit of a shit place to wander around but fuck knows atm. Hyde park? Regents park?
>> No. 29764 Anonymous
7th June 2020
Sunday 2:00 am
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>>29756
That would be lovely but my predicament is its going to piss it down.

>Central is a bit of a shit place to wander around

There's plenty of parks and a stroll along the Thames is quite nice.

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>> No. 29715 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 2:39 pm
29715 Coronavirus has done a number on me
I was fine with it at first, moved back with the parents away from my cramped London flat, found some weird novelty in it but coronavirus has started to take its toll on me. Has this happened to anybody else?

My job I was moving to abroad got canned because they shut their borders, I've no idea what the future looks like,my girlfriend I don't really think I love wants to move in together but I just don't think it's for me, I can't go to the job I want, I can't even go travelling, I'm just stuck in my job. I have one at least, I get it, but I just want the gym back, my office with a huge monitor back, haircuts and being able to get a plane anywhere.

It's just worn me down, feels a bit relentless and whilst it's helped me have a good think about my life I've hit my limit. Any coping strategies you lads are employing?
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>> No. 29746 Anonymous
4th June 2020
Thursday 6:33 pm
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>>29745
>Thank you mate - really appreciate this post.

No worries, was probably helpful for me to post it as well.

In terms of meditation guides it's kind of hard to say, think you probably just need to try a few things and see what works for you. Lots of people have told me like that headspace app has worked for them and there's a million guided meditation things on youtube.

Personally I've worked out my own little routine that starts of just counting breaths and then if I start to feel settled I do some other breathing stuff and that's about it. When I first started trying to get into a proper practice I found going to a drop in group session was really useful just in terms of doing it in a group and being forced into a longer meditation than I'd do myself. Obviously not an option atm though. My main thing is to try and go into it with the right intention as in to try not to see it as a chore or a thing you HAVE to do, but rather as 10/15/20 time for yourself where you're allowed to not worry and stress about stuff. Which is easier said than done obviously.

And as I said in the previous post I've fallen out the habit myself so am a bit of a hypocrite. I think trying to maintain the habit can be the hardest thing, for me at least. But when I do I feel a bit better in my head.

>I was probably just hoping somebody would chime in and say 'yeah same, it fucking sucks you're not alone.'

You're not, and I'd imagine there are plenty of other lads on here who are feeling the same but might not even feel up to typing up a post. And just anecdotally speaking to mates irl lots of people are having a hard time in all sorts of ways.

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>> No. 29747 Anonymous
4th June 2020
Thursday 9:19 pm
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I think I've kept sane because I've just been too busy with work to worry. I'm not actually getting much done at home but then nothing focuses the mind like a deadline.

Maybe you can try keeping yourself busy with an online course. The sense of progress and just generally keeping yourself occupied is something I've found helpful throughout my life. That said, I think everyone has been getting those moments though where you just want to get out the house and live your life again.

>>29738
Seconding the good nights sleep. As my commute has been cut right down I've been able to get much more sleep than I used to. It makes a world of difference.
>> No. 29749 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 10:54 am
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You're not alone.

If you don't want to try headspace then there's this:

https://www.cntw.nhs.uk/resource-library/relaxation-techniques/

Which I made into podcast form for ease: https://fourble.co.uk/podcast/reltech
>> No. 29750 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 11:22 am
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>>29749
Also because you're missing the gym, you can try this site which tailors exercises according to what equipment you have https://www.fitnessblender.com

Or the NHS site https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/gym-free-workouts/
>> No. 29751 Anonymous
6th June 2020
Saturday 4:57 pm
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>>29746
I actually managed to do 15 minutes for the first time in a few weeks and feel more chill. Might try another 15 once it gets dark if I haven't got half pissed first.

Do any of you bodhisattva lads have any tips for maintaining the habit? I often keep it up for a few weeks and then inevitably just let it slip, I mean I guess it's just self discipline really isn't it? It just often feels a lot easier to crack a beer.

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>> No. 29701 Anonymous
31st May 2020
Sunday 1:49 pm
29701 Thank you
Thank you /fags for being there. I want to thank every single contributor for being just like every other cunt you come across. I wouldn't change it for the world.
I've had serious MH issues this last year and it's been bad. But you lot have carried on chatting shit about rinsing pasta. We have one unifying attribute. Our God.

Our Moaty who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
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>> No. 29707 Anonymous
31st May 2020
Sunday 8:06 pm
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>>29704
You didn't miss much.
>> No. 29708 Anonymous
31st May 2020
Sunday 9:36 pm
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>>29707

I, for one, found it hilarious and I don't really even like pasta.
>> No. 29709 Anonymous
1st June 2020
Monday 12:07 am
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>>29708

It is easy to laugh when you don't care what a monster diluted sauce lad is.
>> No. 29710 Anonymous
1st June 2020
Monday 1:45 am
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>>29703
It has been 10 years lad, let it go.
>> No. 29748 Anonymous
5th June 2020
Friday 8:56 am
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>>29710
This

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