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>> No. 31843 Anonymous
11th November 2022
Friday 3:20 pm
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I feel a lot of resentment and bitterness towards trans people. I don’t want to feel that way. I’ve been trying to explore why that is, exactly. It’s something I find to be at odds with the company I keep and the person I tend to believe I am. I’d like to think I’m an accepting and progressive person, but I can’t be if I hold this opinion.


I think it’s relating to my own sexuality. I’m 29 years old and for a long time I’ve considered myself bisexual. I’ve always contained the homosexual side of me however, and present as straight. (Although with considerable people assuming I’m not, for some reason).

I think it’s in part jealousy. An envy that these people can unashamedly choose to live out who they are, to defy whatever norms their parents, society, etc. has cast on then, and to be free, to enjoy the time they have as they wish. I grew up in a very conservative family of people always in the forces. Army / RAF . I have always opposed those opinions but it has dampened my confidence in who I am severely.

I’ve always identified more with women. This is because I always felt internally that I’d rather be a woman because it would make my sexuality easier, it would make it accepted and ‘normal’. I’d never have to contain myself and avoid making my dad sick to his stomach, I’d never have to lie and feel ashamed of who I am. To me, seeing these people who were born men ‘escape’ this problem I suffer, it’s made me feel jealous. Jealous because I still hold horrible poisonous thoughts and almost disgust at myself and my homosexuality, whereas if I was a woman, it would be fine.

A large part of me wishes that when I was younger I went on HRT and begun my journey to be a trans woman. But then it wouldn’t necessarily be because I wanted to be a woman, but rather I just hated being a man. And I don’t think that’s what being trans is really about.
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>> No. 31846 Anonymous
11th November 2022
Friday 7:11 pm
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>>31845

>But to reiterate you don't need to go the whole way down the flag waving raving queer route to "be" trans or to be yourself

This is by far the most salient point I think, and sometimes I feel like that's really all a lot of people need to hear. They fall into all these trans enby egg irl etc groups because they just need someone to be supportive and help them to build their self confidence, they may or may not actually "really" be any of those things but being part of a community that doesn't judge is really what helps them.

I've personally never really been conflicted about my sexuality, I've always been quite fine with the fact I don't like real life blokes but if you catch me on f-list at 2am after a spliff and a few lines I'm the gayest faggot to ever suck dick. Somehow that just doesn't feel like a conflict to me, but I can understand how for some people it does. The thing is for me though, I've never been a manly man, and I learned early on I was simply never going to be the chiseled bloke from the Diet Coke advert. I learned that the hard way through being bullied as the typical skinny weedy poofter for years and years at school, and I developed an alternative ideal of what I wanted to be to qualify myself as attractive and be happy with myself. And without being arrogant, I'm fairly sure it worked.

For a lot of people I really think that's the part that's missing. They grew up being pushed into the boxes of these pre-made identities and they were never told, and never occurred to them, that you don't need to fit into any kind of box. You can just make your own way. Do your own thing. Be who you want to be.

I understand how one could feel jealous of others finding an "easy way out" of things you had to fight through, but ultimately it isn't their fault. I must admit that's got a lot to do with the chip on my own shoulder about idpol stuff, but at the end of the day hating people for trying to be themselves doesn't help anyone. It's all just a matter of perspective. Everyone goes through unique experiences in life and has to learn to deal with them their own way.
>> No. 31847 Anonymous
11th November 2022
Friday 7:17 pm
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>it wouldn’t necessarily be because I wanted to be a woman, but rather I just hated being a man

Another poster has mentioned "internalised homophobia", but this also catches my eye as internalised sexism.
>> No. 31848 Anonymous
11th November 2022
Friday 10:38 pm
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>>31847
>But this also catches my eye as internalised sexism.
What does this mean?
It's certainly true that people have developed misandrist or misogynistic attitudes because society has created warped ideals of gender that are at odds with their reality
>> No. 31849 Anonymous
11th November 2022
Friday 11:37 pm
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Just wondering if you have always felt this resentment and bitterness, or if it has only come about during the past few years of the moral panic?
>> No. 31850 Anonymous
15th November 2022
Tuesday 7:18 pm
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I'd like to be gay but I've got one of those really horrible brown, almost prolapsed, arse holes that only a sadist could like.

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>> No. 31764 Anonymous
5th July 2022
Tuesday 12:16 am
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One area I've always felt myself lacking is in dirty talk, I don't know whether I'm on outlier here but mostly my sex is pretty quite even if I don't receive any complaints. Mostly just some '...your my woman' kind of caveman talk in bed when in a relationship.

Do you have any tips on this to increase a ladies pleasure?
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>> No. 31765 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 1:13 pm
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I think it's one of those things where you've either got it, or you don't, honestly. Some people like it, others aren't that bothered.

I think what stops a lot of people is that when you actually step back and look at it and think about the things you say in the heat of the moment, without the benefit of sexual arousal clouding your brain, it sounds cheesy, cringeworthy, embarrassing as fuck. You have to get past the shyness and just embrace talking about how big your cock is, and how deep in her cunt it is, and how tight she is, and what a naughty slut she is, and how you want to breed her, etc etc. Whatever it is that does it for you/her. Just embrace it. You only live once, and you only get to spend half of that time having a halfway decent sex life, before you're too old and grey to bother any more.

Some people just can't get over that, though, and to be honest they're the people I get along with the least sexually. You're already naked, exposed, both baring your body with your weird lumps and that one embarrassingly located birthmark and so on. If you can't loosen up and let go at that stage, then when can you? I almost see it as a sign of conceitedness.

Anyway it varies from person to person, but I think a good place to start is working out what words they like to have used. My ex was the first girl I'd met who preferred to have it called her "cunt", for instance. Then find out what concepts about sex really excite them. A partner I had once kept saying something along the lines of "You're proper gonna bucket me out!" which I thought sounded daft, but I realised after a bit that it was a turn on for her being gaped, stretched, or what have you, so I responded in kind by talking about how I was gonna leave her all loose and saggy and so on. She loved it.

You have to get to know the lass a bit and tailor it to their tastes, is what I'm saying. Some lasses don't need it, I'm shagging a lass at the moment who's much more physical than verbal or mental, plus doesn't speak the best English. So it would have diminishing returns. But still no harm putting in a few comments here and there. You might as well just give it a go.
>> No. 31766 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 1:29 pm
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My first girlfriend told me she was "sopping wet" while we were fooling around and that totally put me out of the moment.

I've only dirty talked one sexual partner, and it was very half hearted on my part. I remember once she sent me a text saying something like "I'm shoving a dildo up my pussy and thinking about you. What do you think of that?" It was a weird question, but I treated the whole exchange like a social link on Persona, just saying what she wants to hear then I get good points because she likes me more.

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>> No. 31726 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 7:48 am
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I'm visiting family in the UK after 3.5 years. I moved abroad before the pandemic. I think I'm losing it a bit.

I'm barely able to sleep in my childhood bedroom, no matter how many little adjustments I make to temperature or noise. It's small. The house feels small. Everything feels small.

My family have some major problems (drug and alcohol abuse among some relatives) and everyone seems depressed. They seem a bit uninterested in what I've been doing all this time, maybe because they feel they wouldn't have a lot to add in a conversation about it. I listen to them a lot anyway because I am interested in their lives. I ask my dad questions about about plants and wildlife and drumkits, I talk to my mum about her friends and family, but there's a strange resistance if I start to talk about my interests.

I'm doing well for myself and it's awkward somehow. It's a sense that my family want me to do well, but also have very mixed feelings about it. My dad insisted on giving me cash for the flights despite knowing this. I've worked so hard over the last few years and am on good money, but it seemed important to him, so I took it without showing any hesitation, and I am grateful. At the same time, I don't feel like me, or my approaches, or my achievements are respected.

I love my parents dearly, but it's taking quite a lot of willpower to hold onto my sense of autonomy and happiness. I stupidly booked this so I have a couple of weeks here (I wanted to see friends and do a few other things) when really I should have been thinking about a long weekend at most.

Now I'm thinking about just making new plans, even visiting another city in the UK, at least this weekend. I could say I'm staying with friends or a similar excuse, but I find the idea of hurting my parents feelings (again?) heartbreaking.

How do I look out for my own needs, and minimise the hurt or embarrassment I cause them?
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>> No. 31727 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 9:21 am
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I mean what did you want? A big party where they go "Ahhh, welcome home, our favourite and most successful son! Come, come, sit and tell the family all about your adventures!"

Families are usually kind of arseholes honestly. Welcome to the club. I can relate because I had to move back in with mine a while back, and found it profoundly disappointing. I could be rubbing shoulders with Musk and Bezos, and my mum and dad would still treat me like I don't know how to tie my own shoelaces. I could be the Prime Minister and my mum would still come up to my room at 10 o'clock and tell me it's time to go to bed. Conversation with them is like squeezing blood from a stone, and throughout my life it's been a chip on my shoulder that they've shown zero interest in the achievements I'm proud of, like when my band went on our first tour, released our first CD etc etc.

I could speculate why this is for hours. Jealousy? Crustacean container mindset? Is it shame that they couldn't give you a better start in life, or that they don't measure up to you now? Is it disappointment, where even if you're doing well you haven't turned out quite how they hoped? It really doesn't matter and frankly you just shouldn't worry about it.

That's just how it is sometimes. People who have a really good family and good relationships with their family will never quite get it if you talk about your family like this. They'll always say "Oh come on, they're your family, they love you!" or some other trite shit like that, as though you're just making it up. I think ultimately, hanging around those kind of people is where you're likely to have got this expectation from. But I'm afraid you don't have one of those families, and nothing you do will likely change how they are or how they act towards you.

Soz lad. I'd recommend getting an AirBnB and going for a nice trip to the Lake District or something like that. If your family really care about you (and deep down they do, usually) they'll want you to go and enjoy yourself.
>> No. 31728 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 10:19 am
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>>31727
>I mean what did you want? A big party where they go "Ahhh, welcome home, our favourite and most successful son! Come, come, sit and tell the family all about your adventures!"

I think I just want a bit of reciprocation. I've listened intently to my dad's coffee making routine, had a tour of the refurbished bits of the house, looked at my mum's various shades of new nail colour, seen their beloved new e-bikes. They were excited about it all and I like to see them happy about these things. They might not be things I'm into, but I can share in their celebration of it and the pleasure it brings them.

In return I've had maybe had one question asking me about "what it's like over there" and a passing mention of an article I wrote.

Unfortunately we've now also reached the casual passive aggression and judgemental comments about my approach to health stage, so I have to admit, I no longer feel as much guilt about booking a place for myself elsewhere.
>> No. 31729 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 10:38 am
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>>31728

They miss you and resent the fact you left, they want you to say how horrible it is over there and how you miss home and want to come back. They feel like you abandoned them and that they aren't good enough for you.

It's a tale as old as time.

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>> No. 31703 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 3:05 pm
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Is it possible a night of drugs (coke, weed, alcohol) has stopped my antidepressants from working?

Last Saturday I celebrated something a little too hard, and did something highly unusual for me and did a lot of drugs. Mostly alcohol, a bit of coke, some joints. None of these, bar alcohol once a month, are something I usually do. Had a great time, but ever since I've felt like my SSRI citalopram has stopped working? Or more accurately I feel depressed and de-motivated. I've gone up and down in mood, (the day after was truly dreadful), but overall I'm way down on what I was before, and I'm worried I've fucked it for myself, as I WAS feeling good for the weeks prior.

Obviously I've learnt my lesson, and won't be doing all that again, but I feel incredibly upset that after finding myself in a good place I've gone and done this.
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>> No. 31716 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 4:23 pm
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>>31712

Dopamine is a slightly misunderstood neurotransmitter. It's often called the "reward chemical", but it has a more subtle and complex role than that. If something happens that's good but entirely expected, there's not much of a dopamine response; dopamine is primarily released when either seeking a reward or receiving an unexpected reward. Gambling addicts aren't addicted to winning, they're addicted to the possibility of winning. A fruit machine that paid out every time would be profitable, but it wouldn't be addictive.

Trawlermen have what is objectively one of the worst jobs in Britain and by far and away the most dangerous. Most of them are paid on a share basis, so sometimes they earn nothing for two weeks of getting lashed by the North Sea. They also have incredibly high levels of job satisfaction, probably because their job is highly dopaminergic. When they go out for a trip, they don't know if they'll come home with their pockets bulging or absolutely nothing. Every time they cast out their nets, they don't know if they're going to reel in thousands of pounds worth of fish or shred thousands of pounds worth of equipment on the seabed.

If you want more dopamine in your life but don't want to ruin it, seek out productive opportunities for uncertain rewards. Start a business, go busking, forage for wild mushrooms. Make your life less like that of a farmer and more like that of a hunter-gatherer.

With that said, dopamine is rewarding but not necessarily fulfilling. The hollow but compulsive feeling of scrolling through social media or endlessly swiping on Tinder is a pure dopamine loop. Dopamine will reinforce a behaviour, but that behaviour won't necessarily make you happy.
>> No. 31717 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 4:39 pm
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>>31716

> Gambling addicts aren't addicted to winning, they're addicted to the possibility of winning.

I think this also goes for the stock market, which by some measure is just a very elaborate form of gambling. If a stock you own goes up, and maybe even by a few percent in one day, it can be kind of a dopamine rush, and in the back of your head you're already buying that game console or booking a holiday to Australia. But then a lot of the time, you fail to cash out while the stock is still climbing, and your book profits dwindle until you're back under water. You've played the game before, and at least at some level you'll know full well that it'll probably happen to you again despite all your best resolutions, but while you're on the way there, every new high of your stock investment feels fucking awesome.
>> No. 31721 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 4:03 pm
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>>31717
This is distilled down to its essence with the dozens of crypto coins being made out there. It's not just a gamble, it's the dream that you can get rich by doing nothing just because you're clearly much smarter than everyone else and saw the potential where others didn't.
>> No. 31722 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 5:24 pm
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>>31721

>it's the dream that you can get rich by doing nothing just because you're clearly much smarter than everyone else and saw the potential where others didn't.

There's a saying on /r/wallstreetbets that in a bull market, everyone is a fucking genius.

I started investing in stocks after the 2008 global crash, circa in the spring of 2009, when for about two years, it was almost impossible not to make shedloads of profits, both realised and on paper, just by buying all the dips. And I felt like an absolute Warren Buffett.

But at some point, I think everybody realises that turning a consistent profit in the stock market, apart from a few lucky wins because you're riding a colossal bull market, is absolutely hard work. There's a reason why investment firms moving trillions of dollars around the globe employ hundreds, if not thousands of market analysts and other investment professionals, and don't rely on a handful of hobby-horsing retail investors like you and me in their investment decisions.

Theoretically, if you near-constantly buy and sell at just the right time, you could make absolute oodles of money trading bitcoin and other cryptos, and technically speaking, you'd become a millionaire just by making a few mouse clicks a week. But as anybody with even a passing understanding of risk-reward profiles will tell you, highly volatile assets like cryptocurrencies have a massive inherent risk of loss, while the probability of large gains is very small. It's a bit like a lottery ticket. Yes, somebody will probably win two or three million that weekend, but most people play all their lives never winning more than a few quid.
>> No. 31723 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 8:39 pm
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>>31722
>There's a saying on /r/wallstreetbets that in a bull market, everyone is a fucking genius.

Jesus Christ.

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>> No. 31692 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 11:09 am
31692 Helping my dad with "types of" therapy
Somehow my sister has finally managed to bully our dad into getting therapy for the issues he has that marred our childhoods from beginning to end, drove our mum to the bottle and left us half-broken semi-humans with a plethora of our own issues.

To my astonishment, the old man is actually giving it a "serious" go, for the moment at least. He is having EMDR at the moment because apparently a lot of his issues are related to trauma from his own childhood and EMDR is good for that. He doesn't like it and is instinctively hostile to anything that seems like it doesn't have a clear and direct relation to his issues.

He has told me that what he believes he actually needs is "whatever the type of therapy that bloke in The Sopranos has. Proper therapy therapy." I have been tasked with finding out what this type of therapy is called (is it just 'psychoanalysis'?) and arranging it for him.

How do I do this? Pretend money is no object but I understand absolutely nothing about anything. I'm basically Tony's fat idiot son who just wanted to play his PS2.
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>> No. 31696 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 2:25 pm
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>>31694
No idea if this is what Soprano had but this sounds like exactly the kind of thing my dad would go for based upon the description. I will try and sell him on it and see what happens. Cheers.
>> No. 31697 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 3:37 pm
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I wish I had the stones to tell the NHS I want "whatever type of therapy Tony Soprano" has.
>> No. 31698 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 5:09 pm
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I mean, the thing is, I don't think whatever type of therapy Tony Soprano has is actually very good in real life.

Yanks are obsessed with therapy, which is fitting because they're an entire country of neurotic bastards, and their society is so atomised what better solution than to outsource the conversations you should be able to have with your spouse or close friends to someone you pay by the hour. But I have my hunches that the reason they have this kind of therapy goes hand in hand with their very lucrative medical system. You don't need to actually have any mental health issues to go to a therapist, and if you do, you're very unlikely to be cured by seeing them. It's as much of a fashion statement as a medical treatment, for a certain segment of Yank society, like doing yoga or going to the gym.

What I'm saying is that the type of therapy your dad has in mind from The Sopranos isn't "real proper therapy". I'm sue he and you both know that it's a fictional, idealised version anyway, but even so, I doubt the real life equivalent will be quite what he hopes for either.

Anyway, there are other approaches beyond CBT, but do try keep in mind CBT is used because it has been proven to be effective. It's just a deeply personal thing though, and finding a practitioner who you actually click with and feel like you can trust helps a lot. Some of them are more "proactive" than others, they prompt you more, give you more to think about rather than just letting you talk and nodding. But it's trial and error getting to them.
>> No. 31699 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 6:00 pm
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The evidence shows that the style of therapy doesn't have a significant impact on the outcome. What matters is what's called the "therapeutic alliance" - the degree to which the patient trusts their therapist and they agree on the goals of therapy. There strong diminishing returns, with most of the benefit coming after 12 to 18 sessions of therapy. Those benefits fade over time, but most of the benefit can be restored with a short "top-up" course of two or three sessions.

If I were looking for a therapist for someone, I'd start by talking to them about what they want to achieve through therapy and what expectations or preconceptions they might have. A therapist isn't going to "fix" you, they're just going to give you some tools that you can use to change yourself. Patients who go into the process with positive but realistic expectations tend to do best.

Next, I'd ring around a few different therapists to just get a sense of them as a person. Any good therapist should be happy to chat for a few minutes about their approach to therapy and how they work with patients. You're looking for someone that you think your old man will get on with, but someone who won't take any nonsense. Think of the kind of mate who has always got your back, but isn't afraid to pull you up when you're acting like a twat.

Going purely on first impressions, I think that your dad would benefit most from some no-nonsense CBT. Cognitive Behavoural Therapy done properly doesn't muck about with old traumas or trying to get to the bottom of your issues (whatever that means), it's about figuring out what you're feeling, figuring out how those feelings affect your behaviour and giving you practical tools to change. It's very goal-oriented and tends to work very well for people who are motivated to change but don't really know how. If your dad is the sort of bloke who doesn't have much of an emotional vocabulary and doesn't realise when he's acting in a self-destructive way, he's likely to find a lot of useful stuff in CBT.

As I said, the most important thing in therapy is trust and understanding. If you can get across to your dad that you need to shop around to find someone on the right wavelength, you're halfway there.
>> No. 31700 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 9:43 pm
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>>31695
Exactly why you think, trypophobia.

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>> No. 30730 Anonymous
4th May 2021
Tuesday 3:09 pm
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I think i just accused someone of inapropriate behaviour around children.

A public swimming pool with glass walls around, one directly on a footpath.
The person was stood against the window with a young dog, peering into the pool of children across the far end.
As i aproached, it seemed to me a lifeguard was also coming 'round to investigate from inside - no eye contact was made. What other reason would staff have to come all the way to the opposite end of the pool where no users were present?
As i passed i asked loudly "Do you have a family in there?", to which the person said yes and mumbled something as i walked off.

It's generally known that this location is inapropriate to stop at, especially so if your face is pressed to the glass like this persons was.

All i can think is to talk with the receptionist/manager and offer to pay for blinds to be put in the relevant windows.
I'm trying to convice myself it was right to 'confront' this person yet i feel bad for doing so.
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>> No. 31617 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 10:53 pm
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>>31616
>>/emo/30452
>> No. 31618 Anonymous
17th February 2022
Thursday 10:57 pm
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>>31616
>Essentially I tried to convince him from the room where he was disiplining his child, thinking that the method was sustaining the problem rather than solving it.

You undermined his parenting in front of his son? Even if you were in the right that was never going to go down well.
>> No. 31670 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 12:28 am
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>>30730

You confronted somebody being a creep at the pool and you're concerned that *you* are you problem? Chill out OP.

>>30737

Where did they go? There's nowhere left.

>>31616

Sounds like you have a good soul but your brother has issues that are too big for you to handle yourself.
>> No. 31671 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 10:09 pm
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>>31670
>you're concerned that *you* are you problem?
Well, yeah. It's abnormal behaviour to confront this sort of thing, and the fact that I appear inclined to see child abuse 'everywhere' could show it's an issue in my perception, not reality (but I don't want to convince myself that because the risk feels too great). Do you see what I mean? Not to mention the inversion of all this stuff going on in my mind.

I have a complex; for one reason or another It was charged considerably when I made this thread.
>> No. 31678 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 12:39 am
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>>31671

Just because it's abnormal doesn't mean it's wrong per se, so long as you handled it tactfully. From the situation you describe it does seem like he was being a bit of a creep and warranted a bit of "what you doing mate?"

>the fact that I appear inclined to see child abuse 'everywhere' could show it's an issue in my perception, not reality

Yes I think you're right. Absolutely everything we observe is passed through the lens of our perception. Many of us have neuroses that cause us to have funky behaviour in certain situations. Talking this through with a mate or therapist or whatever can be very helpful... I find that I can convince myself of all sorts of bullshit when I don't have the opportunity to talk about it with another human being.

If you're feeling a bit cringy after the fact then in future you could have a quick word with a member of staff, then they can decide what that person's conduct amounts to.

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>> No. 31531 Anonymous
29th January 2022
Saturday 8:46 am
31531 another therapist
Yesterday I dropped another therapist. My experiences so far:

Somebody who tried to sell some karma chakra bullshit.

Somebody who tried to sell me EFT tapping (complete crock of shit)

A Christian one. 'nuff said.

Last but not least, somebody that believed in the "law of attraction" and advised me to think about good things to magically attract them.

Am I doing something wrong? Is there any way to get a non-bullshit therapist? Do they even exist? Is there any way to speak with a therapist that does not believe in magical bullshit?

Maybe I should just speak with a priest or a mullah. At least, their bullshit is forthright, not hidden.
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>> No. 31558 Anonymous
29th January 2022
Saturday 8:37 pm
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>>31547

Yes, that was me (with a different IP since I live somewhere else). I am amused, I never thought that somebody would remember my threads.

>>31549
This is for you. Try to have the lyrics translated:
&ab_channel=commandoevil



To all the others, thanks but the problem is still there: where can I find a therapist that is not full of bullshit? I am quite sure that it is a professional requirement.
>> No. 31559 Anonymous
29th January 2022
Saturday 8:46 pm
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>>31558

Yeah so I read through those lyrics, hardly Wordsworth. I never understood the whole gothic dress thing, I can shrug it off as a phase when It's a teenager, but fully own adults, looks a bit embarrassing.
>> No. 31561 Anonymous ## Mod ##
29th January 2022
Saturday 9:07 pm
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>>31559

I don't know if you're planning to respond to it but in light of the post above I'm going to politely ask that you drop the subject and perhaps avoid this thread entirely.
>> No. 31563 Anonymous
29th January 2022
Saturday 9:10 pm
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>>31561

Yeah I saw this a bit late, I'll leave the thread alone.
>> No. 31565 Anonymous
29th January 2022
Saturday 10:02 pm
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Alright my man I found the website - https://stopso.org.uk/

I recognise you said the problem isn't sexual but, for reasons I hope you can appriciate, I urge you to at least email this organisation about the difficulty in finding a reasonable therapist as well as your current and past issues. The worst they could say is "Sorry, we don't deal with that" - but I suspect they will, and I sincerely believe addressing your past and how it effects you currently can improve your wellbeing.

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>> No. 31490 Anonymous
21st January 2022
Friday 10:27 pm
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How do I square the circle that I've always believed you should live life passionately rather than in a state of sleepwalking but that with age you just stop caring at work. I'm lucky enough to have an incredibly interesting career but I've still reached the point of going through the motions.

I don't really want to throw things away or play silly buggers in my 30s but I'm tired and it's hard to care. Everyone is a fucking idiot and it all gets pointless when nothing actually gets done.
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>> No. 31513 Anonymous
23rd January 2022
Sunday 3:51 am
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>>31509

>In short: there was a long thread speculating about my personal life and history, including someone digging up ancient details about partners and, frankly, getting close to doxxing me. That's so far over the line that I don't really have words for it

Ooooh what has he got to hide eh? Dirty little bugger, I bet he's got an underage ex or there's photos of him somewhere doing puppy play at a kink night in his uni days.

I don't get this though, it's implicitly part of what you're getting yourself into if you become an Internet Person.
>> No. 31514 Anonymous
23rd January 2022
Sunday 7:24 am
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>Everyone is a fucking idiot and it all gets pointless when nothing actually gets done.

Rent seeking is rife in companies and the solution to ignore it is crazy. Whatever I make at work (and at whatever quality) the company is too incompetent to use it. I've been advised to get a different job, but most offices are like this: people in their comfort zones justifying their job.

I can't care about work less because 35 more years of this, and forced apathy for the sake of short term comfort, will destroy me. This problem is rare in places where things getting done matters. My solution is to move myself to something to a place where getting things done matters, which for me is probably likely self-employment.
>> No. 31515 Anonymous
23rd January 2022
Sunday 12:38 pm
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>>31513
I know Tom irl and I'm fairly sure there's nothing going on, I've actually complained about him before on here for being a sodding wet blanket. He's paranoid about his address and to be honest I see it that he's just not the sort of lad who can handle conflict with someone face to face.

Despite this he wears the same outfit irl as in all his videos.
>> No. 31516 Anonymous
23rd January 2022
Sunday 12:44 pm
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>>31509
>I don't think he'd ever be going this deep into the internet
It's been a long time since we were any edgier than many parts of reddit.
>> No. 31517 Anonymous
23rd January 2022
Sunday 1:03 pm
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It'll be someone involved in Digitiser. Guarantee it.

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>> No. 31475 Anonymous
18th January 2022
Tuesday 11:14 pm
31475 Healthiest way to smoke weed?
This is a bit meandering. I'm not sure what the actual problem is, because the solutions are obvious. I think I just want to vent and look for people who may have similar experiences or proclivities.

I know the easy answer is weed vape, but it's too easy and I'll just end up stoned all the time again. I want to control my weed use like I've managed to with my alcohol. 11 years ago I was on a 70CL of Whyte & Mackay a night, 5 years ago I'd have to finish every drink in the house before I could call it a night. A couple of years ago I guess I got control of it and now it's absolutely no bother to have a spirits cabinet and leave beers in the fridge, and just have a single beer, or a single glass off wine and leave the bottle. I don't know what's changed. Same with sugar as well, I used to be a fucking fiend but now I can take it or leave it. Actual sugar I mean, not coke. Wanking's a tough one but it really depends on how busy I am.

So can I get there with weed, or is it too risky to try considering I obviously have an addictive personality?

I stopped blazin' a week ago. I've done this for the last 3 Januaries for a couple of weeks, never with the intention of 'quitting' but just gaining some control over it. Of course when I felt in control, I'd go back to smoking every day because I was doing nothing bar work and video games. Now I'm doing an AAT level 3 which would be my first qualification since my incredibly useful Classics degree, and I think that will help galvanize me because I don't want to be forgetting everything I learn and I actually need some sort of credibility in my industry.

I've been smoking most days since uni, and basically every day since I graduated 10 years ago. Maybe a gram of whatever a day on average, always mixed with baccy. I used to use it for specific reasons, because it stopped me feeling sad about relationship dramas or relaxed me or it was with mates or, or...but then a few years ago it just became an all-the-time thing. Before work at the bar, before work at the call center, but only once or twice since I got into accounting and only when I was really fucked off about something.

I don't really like this. I don't know how to unwind without weed; video games don't work, reading doesn't work, meditation doesn't work although I could give it more of a shot. And while I should definitely not be smoking every day for no reason, a joint definitely has a use. I never used to smoke pure weed rollups because it burned my throat in a kind of weird way, almost like an excess of mint. I tried again for the first time in a decade or so this December and had none of that, I couldn't feel any physical sensation in the throat at all tbh, which I assume is because of the cumulative damage - but I then realized the sensation I crave is the burn of some mildly dry baccy/weed mix, and the feeling I want is of being a little bit blazed but by no means monged. I've avoided stuff like Amnesia now because it's just couch-lock and I'm kind of past that (and fucking Star 'Dawg', what the hell is that? Tastes like petrol).

I'm also down to...well, I've had 2 cigarettes today, usually I have up to 10-12 when I'm working and zero when I'm just at home doing nothing because why smoke tabs when you can smoke joints when you've got no obligations? Anyway, quitting tabs isn't too big a problem, it's the weed that I'm going to always want. Same with booze, only I can easily keep bottles in the cabinet in the fridge without touching them, and I'm perfectly capable of just having one. Which I'm very proud of considering I tried

I feel almost uncomfortable with the moderately increased level of energy I have. I don't want to increased risk of dementia, but that actually looks like it's going the way of the dodo with recent advances so by the time it could hit me it'll probably be quite curable. I hope. But lung cancer won't be, and so I can't keep smoking baccy and shouldn't be inhaling plant matter regardless. Also it can't be good for my brain in general; I was never a good storyteller, and could never structure a joke properly, but I process information quickly, and retain knowledge very well, and I don't want that to decline faster than it has to. Also there's the apathy as well. I know I was always a bit detached and apathetic about people and their problems, unless I could actively solve them (in which case it's the problem rather than the person that I'm interested in), but it's not great.
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>> No. 31479 Anonymous
19th January 2022
Wednesday 1:32 am
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>>31475

I made the switch to a vape last January OP. Best decision I ever made because I suddenly didn't need to roll and go out for a joint anymore, I could just have a vape whenever I wanted. And that's what I did, when I felt the urge to smoke I went on the vape. I didn't satisfy a nicotine urge and I had to grin and bear with it, but I got stoned. And then something impressive happened. I started thinking "OH, I'll pack my vape and have a smoke" but then get distracted by something else, that's how I went my first day without smoking weed accidentally (aside from being in a drought) in over a decade, I just forgot. It's been a year and I vape once a week if I have occasion to.


As well a vape lets you control the high a lot more. Vape at 170-80 and you're not gonna be zonked, go higher, get more wrecked.

I used to structure my whole days around weed, get home in the evening from work and roll and smoke, then just do something for an hour or so before it was time to go out for the next one.

Weed has a psychological addiction but you're never going to tackle that if you don't deal with the very insidious and potent addiction that nicotine has over you first. Separate the 2 and figure out which is which. A year a go I'd never dream I'd be like I am now, I always wondered how I was gonna stop because I couldn't imagine life without a joint in the evening and I knew I was fucking my lungs as well. Well the thing driving it was nicotine, just I couldn't tell the difference.

Good luck OP
>> No. 31480 Anonymous
19th January 2022
Wednesday 4:49 am
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I know this will sound like a really trite answer, but have you tried psychedelics?

More drugs to help with your issues with drugs, I kniw; but the thing is with me, getting into psychedelics totally put me off weed. I was never an every day smoker because I never really had the opportunity to be, but I would smoke pretty often- At least weekly for most of my early 20s. But after I got into psychedelics for a bit, and had various trips with and without the use of cannabis, I had a quite powerful change in perspective on the stuff.

Frankly, I just realised I don't actually like it. I was smoking it because it was a drug, and it does a bit more to you than alcohol, when you want to be on a drug. But I don't actually like the effects- It never just chilled me out or anything like that, for me it always made me overanalyse things and become very socially anxious. I consciously ignored those negative aspects because I liked watching movies and getting way too deep into it, and because I thought being a stoner was cool. But when I was able to step back and look at it clearly in that ego-supressed tippy state, I saw that I wasn't actually getting much out of it. It was a waste of time and money.

Maybe it won't be the same for you because tour relationship with the substance itself is different, but I bet there will be some sort of inner profundity you can unlock on a bit of acid that will help you realise your goal. I'll only very occasionally smoke weed now, if I'm in the mood for it specifically (one of those long extra horny wanks for instance.)
>> No. 31481 Anonymous
19th January 2022
Wednesday 1:55 pm
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I can't be arsed to read all that wall on my phone but to answer the question, why not just eat it? Make some cannabutter or whatever, use it as a cooking ingredient. Make THC jelly babies if you want. None of it's very difficult and you can control the dose quite precisely.
>> No. 31482 Anonymous
19th January 2022
Wednesday 4:08 pm
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Probably not the advice you're looking for but marshmallow leaf is a reasonable substitute for tobacco. Get a good quality and you'll taste it, but it doesn't burn the same nor give that sluggy tobacco hit. Infact I stopped smoking gange shortly after substituting tobacco for marshmallow - it's just not the same.
>> No. 31483 Anonymous
19th January 2022
Wednesday 6:33 pm
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>>31475
I just got bored of the high as I got older, no longer enjoyed smoking socially and would just have the odd joint before bed. Realised it was a bit pointless smoking and going straight to sleep so just gradually stopped.

I still like to have a small bit of something to hand as I will smoke a joint maybe once every 3/4 months. The only time I really enjoy it now is if I'm out walking by myself in nature somewhere then a very small j can be quite nice. Otherwise I'm not fussed. I do still drink too much though. Dunno if that's any help really.

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>> No. 31414 Anonymous
10th January 2022
Monday 2:52 pm
31414 people felt this needed it's own thread so...
It has taken a lifetime of cruelty that I have bared with a grin to reach this point. But I fucking hate women.

I hate them because a narcissist delusion that they are always the victim and hard done by even when they are sickly spoilt, they aren't hard done by at all they are entitled. You know when you see someone who is used to getting their own way doesn't get their own way and they throw a tantrum, that's women, that's the entire modern fisherperson movement.

They have no concept of how minor their problems are, or that men can be treated like a level of human garbage that no one else will stick up for and expected to unfuck themselves, only to have women tell them the entire time how privileged they are and how we should all feel guilty that they have imagined they are fat by choosing to read beauty magazines. This is not some hypothetical extremes either this is real world situations I have been in.

You know why women make less than men. It is because the men who were making less were either driven to suicide (at a rate that if it was women would be seen as proof of sexual inequality but because it is men it doesn't count) or aren't counted because they are homeless and therefore unemployed ( again at a rate that would be considered definitive proof of sexual inequality if it was women), one pretty women gets murdered by one copper and middle England loses their collective minds. The suffering of men as victims of the majority of crimes is normalised and is irrelevant, an isolated incident for a woman is worthy of mass protest.

Women don't take the initiative to do the hard graft, they can fucking complain, but you don't see them changing jobs to work as petroleum engineers to get higher pay do you, no they want everything to change for them rather than to change the one thing they have control over? Why because if they tried make the change they would have to accept some responsibility for their failures, the way men have to.

The game is simple women are the victims even when they demonstrably aren't, domestic violence, a problem women preach how they are at danger of constantly and blah blah blah, in reality biggest domestic abusers... fucking women, safest relationship is a gay one. Most dangerous lesbian, they evidently can't control their natural feminine instincts for violence. And there is a vast list of situations that Women are objectively in a better status than men, but they don't count because they violate the mantra. Women are the victims of society isn't a point based On evidence it is an article of faith and no evidence to the contrary could ever change it. It wouldn't matter if women out performances men in every measurable sense in our societypeople would still be preaching women are the victims.

It is the equivalent of nazi Germany externalizing all of their problems and playing victim to a minority, even when they had the control and power, women run the world, or close enough at this point but spend all their time chasing shadows of imagined boggy men, they can blame for their failures. I can't play the game again it sickens me every time a man humours them and invalidates his own struggle just to try get laid. Men appealing to women's insecurities seems like a poison the women never learns to stop being self indulgent, and the man never acknowledges his own pain.

We do this to our fucking selves there is no toxic masculinity there is just an inability to talk about mens problems because women can't stand the idea they are fuck ups so we aren't allowed to talk about how men are shat upon. Because men aren't allowed their own space and men doing worse than women is considered 'problem solved'. We condition women to feel like they are hard done by even when they aren't. You want true equality start letting women fail the way men do and watch how they suddenly fall in line and stop complaining and start appreciating the value of what they have. Of course there are other mechanisms here society actually wants women to be needy narcists because needy women buy more shit. The consumer market seems driven by women buying clothes and children impulse buying shiny crap.
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>> No. 31470 Anonymous
17th January 2022
Monday 2:21 pm
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>>31468
>I think (on /emo/ at least) we should try to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to evaluating their own experiences.

You should never be a dick on /emo/, but that doesn't mean people should never have their views and experiences challenged or you're at risk of creating an echo chamber.

When other replies to this thread include "I was told I was making a lady feel uncomfortable and made to feel like a sex pest when all I did was treat her like one of the lads" I would say that a bit of introspection is necessary. Rather than blaming other people, say, it may be worth reflecting on how some of these lads come across. When there's posters here who think it's acceptable to be the older guys preying on drunk 18 year olds during freshers week I think it's not a stretch to say there's a fair few creeps on here who need to take a hard look at themselves.

>I don't often see the same happening with sweeping observations about men just wanting sex or being violent or struggling with expressing themselves emotionally or other broadly accepted stereotypes.

When are they ever brought up here, apart from the instances when you lads get too horny and spend hours posting about fat lasses and their robust chins?
>> No. 31471 Anonymous
17th January 2022
Monday 4:02 pm
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>>31470
>You should never be a dick on /emo/, but that doesn't mean people should never have their views and experiences challenged

Very much agree. We created /emo/ as the kindest/safest space on the site, and we'll always make sure that's enforced - but this definitely isn't an echo chamber where people will automatically agree with you.
>> No. 31472 Anonymous
17th January 2022
Monday 5:14 pm
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>>31470
>>31471

I agree that we shouldn't create an echo chamber, what I'm saying is that just dismissing someone's observations which they've got through anecdotal experience with another anecdotal experience isn't very convincing or helpful.

I also don't think it's fair to push the whole responsibility of a perceived problem back onto the person expressing it. I would think the same if someone posted, "I'm lonely, and I think the problem is x" and someone responded "it's you, it's easy to meet people", or if another thread went "I've only ever had bad relationships, and I think it might be for y reason" is not always a case of "it's you, you spend time with the wrong people".
>> No. 31473 Anonymous
17th January 2022
Monday 7:21 pm
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>>31472
The person who posted >>31466 opened with "feel free to offer counterpoints or what have you" so I'm not really sure what your issue is?
>> No. 31474 Anonymous
18th January 2022
Tuesday 2:14 am
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>>31470

As the lad who posted in the first place and did indeed specifically say you're welcome to provide counterpoint, I will just say that I'm not at all miffed at you/whoever disagreeing with me. What does miff me is that it was really a pretty boilerplate response without much substance beyond empty contrarianism, and all it served to do is derailus into this kind of navel gazing nonsense. That's alright in a /news/ thread about BoJo's booze ups, but I do feel like /emo/ should be a place for good faith engagement.

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>> No. 31315 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 7:32 pm
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I never want to commit to anything because I'm scared that if I do I'll miss out other opportunities that are better. I'm coming up 30 and I've no fucking clue what I actually want to do with my life.

On paper my life is great. 50k salary likely to go up, lovely attractive girlfriend earning double what I do but not an arse about it, my health (as far as I know), family, reasonable friend circle. Just not quite happy and feel there must be more to life.

This is in everything from my career (try climbing the ladder without being specialised in case you want to do tech, or law, or something else), my attitude to life (do I leave things quite high level in case I want to pack it up and go travel?) and just generally everything.

I'm pretty miserable because of it. How do I commit to things and not worry about what might have been instead of always thinking I need to be able to immediately run from what I have to something else?
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>> No. 31318 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 8:47 pm
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>>31317
The unwritten book will always be perfect, right?
I'm not so sure that picking a route stops you from changing course - It'd lead you elsewhere, sure, but you can always turn around or take an unexpected direction. I do that all the time when out and about.
Plenty of people do a lot of stuff with their time. There's no reason why you couldn't persue multiple projects across your days, months and even years.

Do you feel that you're not doing enough? Not experiencing enough of life? Having mentioned travel specifically, is there anything you're particularly interested in seeing?
Have you watched "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" lately?
>> No. 31319 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 9:03 pm
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You are a living example of the hedonic treadmill effect in action.

No matter how much you have you'll always feel you're missing out on something, something that's just out of reach. I earn half what you do, I've got a nice but deeply flawed girlfriend, and I can count my friends on one hand. But I'm content. It's not that I don't have ambitions, but I have to be realistic in my scope, because I've never had the world laid out in front of me for my taking, everything has been an uphill struggle. Everything I do have, I'm pretty fucking grateful for, truth be told.

You might not think this is practical advice, you might not think it's helpful in real terms, but I constantly see people who are better off than me, yet less happy. I think there has to be something to it. The youngsters who start off at my place of work and discover the job isn't what they thought it'd be, and how quickly despondent they get. I wish they felt the way I do, glad to be there because at least it's not answering the phones all day for Plusnet or Curry's. I wish they knew what a really shit job was, not in a "could be worse" sense, but simply in order to have some perspective.

How adventurous has your life been? Did you do the "gap year" thing and go travelling or whatever, or have you been straight on that career path grind since uni? How often do you cut loose and go on a several day long drugs and booze bender? Have you slept with many women? I think all these questions have an effect on your ultimate outlook as you begin to stare down the barrel of middle age. You start to realise you don't have all the time in the world and you can't do everything. You only get one go. "And then one day you find... Ten years have got behind you..." etc.

Personally I did a lot of that in my youth- I mean, that's why I don't have the successful career you do, I fucked it all off to play at being a rock star. It was great fun for four or five years, but you can never go on like that forever, especially not as a complete povvo in reality. Ultimately though I think that's part of why I'm so content now, despite my modest circumstances. I think it's basically this reason why so many men have the typical mid-life crisis, whereas I can pretty reasonably say I've been there and done that.

It sounds to me like the reason you don't want to commit to things is because frankly, you're not ready to. You haven't satiated that youthful lust for adventure. You haven't lived enough to be content with it and settle down. It's not that there's more to life, it's just that you haven't had your fill to begin with. Once you've had enough, the desire to calm it down and plan for the longer term comes naturally, like putting your feet up after a long day of work and dunking a hob nob in your brew.
>> No. 31321 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 9:38 pm
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>>31318
Yes, yes I do, but I don't know if I'm being unrealistic. I have seen Walter Mitty and it's exactly what I had in mind except my life is probably a bit more rounded than his.

I'd love my Walter Mitty moment but I wonder if I'm being a stupid cunt and not accepting life isn't a fairytale.

I wish I'd done a bit more off the beaten path things. I've done a few, but not enough, but I'm not sure why that means I can't commit or pick a career. That's just me being unhappy with personal experiences.

>>31319
This post hits hard. I also started from a less than ideal place like you and am very much aware of the could be worse. I think that's the problem though, you lived your life and then got through it, I never really lived mine and so I'm scared that just jacking it all in and backpacking across aus or something will mean throwing away the material comfort I've built for myself.

Your post hit home, it is to do with running out of time. I just wonder if whatever I choose I'll always be upset I didn't pick the other? Picking fruit in aus wishing I'd picked the comfy office - earning my comfy office salary but wishing I was slumming it in aus.

Tell me sage lad, what would you do if you were me?
>> No. 31323 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 11:50 pm
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>>31321

You'll always regret the chances you didn't take. If they don't work out, there's loads of boring comfy offices all over this country, and every other country, all over the world. They're all the same. You're not missing out on anything special there.

If I were you I'd take a sort of middle path. You earn plenty of cash as it is, so you can certainly save up a chunk; and you-know-what is still going to be a big deal as far as travel is concerned for at least another year I reckon. So plan your move and don't do it straight away- But in essence, just fuck everything off for a year or two and go have your adventures. It'll gnaw at you if you don't. You're scared to actually take the leap of faith, but I can assure you the realisation you're on the ride now, and you're not getting off until it's done, is worth it.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't sensible or considered advice, and I have had a couple of beers, but nevertheless. The times I've felt most alive were those occasions I'd just got up and walked out of my job with no intention of going back, and just saying "Fuck it. I'll survive somehow." and then driving off, sunglasses on, arm hanging out the window, fag in hand. The coolest, biggest bollocked, no fuck given bad ass.

Terrifying, obviously, and foolish. But the exhilaration of just having to sink or swim, free falling until you learn how to glide. It's quite the thing.

Of course, people like us are fortunate to be able to do that with the knowledge will never come to any real harm- There is a safety net, ultimately, for most of us; and in my case it was back when the benefits system was still rather exploitable. In your case it's that you can put enough money away that you wouldn't have to worry, and you will always still have a career waiting for you. I doubt a year or two backpacking would see you resigned to working the tills at Tesco, anyway.
>> No. 31366 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 12:52 am
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>>31323

Thank you. Really appreciate the insight and surprised how accurate this was.

Because of this post I reached out to an international job offer that got canned by Covid and they might still be able to work something out post-Covid craziness mid next year so here's hoping.

If not, I'll go do some cliche thing where I take 6 months to walk through a country or something and find myself.

I've not felt that exhilaration for a while and whilst I'm super grateful for my safety net in a weird way sometimes the comfort is the worst thing there is for me.

Wish me luck.

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>> No. 31305 Anonymous
6th December 2021
Monday 2:50 pm
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As a 30 year old male, should I not be using Discord?
Recently I took to exploring Discord community servers in hope of finding a group that's active enough to warrant casual participation - simulate some social context and maybe even physically talk to people, learn some skills, etc. But each server I've found seems to be full of teenagers discovering their identities and I feel like I really shouldn't interact with these people.
We've all heard of the estrogen hidden in drugs, sold outside the school gate, Discord story (or perhaps not) but I've just found a server that explicitly allows discussion of child abuse, fostering and cult activity. What's worse is that the community apparently acts behind a soft and colourful front of making the internet a more nostalgic place - which appear to actually attract members, including vulnerable young people. No doubt this particular server is full of undercover agents, thank god.

It troubles me that every fucking time I try to develop my social life this horror of child abuse rears its head.
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>> No. 31336 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 12:27 am
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>>31334

When I was 29, I met a 19 year old at a party. She looked considerably older and I looked considerably younger, so I guess we both thought that our age gap was less than it really was. Although half of it was that I consciously avoided the age question, having inferred that she had just started uni and her friends that evening also seemed 20ish. It wasn't till our first date two days later that she asked me directly how old I was. I said I was 29, and her reaction was just an "Oh...". It was easy to tell how she meant it, and the rest of that Sunday afternoon was spent between awkward silence and efforts to not be rude and keep rudimentary conversation going.

I guess my point is, a lot of lasses that age simply can't see themselves with a lad who is ten years older. It's a huge gap when you're only 19 yourself. It's something to think about for lads who think they can still pull teenagers when they are getting close to 30. With most lasses, even youthful looks that belie your true age won't save you.
>> No. 31337 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 1:01 am
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>>31335

>I wonder what I'd think if I was on the other end of a similar situation.

As the (other) resident furry-lad, that's something that I've honestly found myself having to be quite careful of. The anonymity of going into those sorts of spaces and identifying solely through your 'sona is at once liberating, but not without its hazards.

Like you, I got into that scene much younger than I ever should have, and I was having the sorts of conversations with people that would give your average Mail reader a heart attack. So I'm very conscious that there are a lot of kids out there today in exactly the same situation; and unwittingly, my filthy late night coked up eRP sessions could end up being with someone much younger than I would like, and I'm really not sure where the law or even my own morality stands on that.

But I am forced to consider that I was doing it at that age, and I wanted it, and as far as I was concerned at that point, all the 18+ warnings and shit were just adults trying to spoil the fun. That, of course, has implications most people really don't like or want to consider.

I've resolved to just refuse people who don't seem to type very well or who otherwise seem a bit dim. My reasoning is that, frankly, you don't tend to get very many thick people in this kind of extremely online social niche; therefore I take any indication along those lines as evidence that they are either very young, or boomer tier old.

There have been a couple of Black Mirror episodes that resonated profoundly with me because they hinted at concepts like this. I suspect Are Charlie might be one of us.
>> No. 31338 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 8:15 am
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>>31337
>I am forced to consider that I was doing it at that age, and I wanted it, and as far as I was concerned at that point, all the 18+ warnings and shit were just adults trying to spoil the fun.

MSN chat rooms for me. I'd just turned 15 when they shut them down, but I'd definitely got a couple of years of use out of them by that point. I can see why they got rid of them, but I didn't knowingly cyber with anyone much older than me.

I joined FaceParty about the same age and when I changed my sexuality to bisexual I had so many grown men getting in touch with me. I looked young for my age as well. I didn't do anything with those creeps, although I did watch one of them online fuck a sex toy he'd made by wrapping a towel around balloons filled with warm water because of how absurd it was.

Teenagers are dumb and horny. I wouldn't look to exploit that. I already knew you lads were weirdos from that discussion the other day about it being fine to be the creepy older guy preying on drunken 18 year olds during freshers because "they need an older man to show them the ropes."
>> No. 31339 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 7:59 pm
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>>31337
>and as far as I was concerned at that point, all the 18+ warnings and shit were just adults trying to spoil the fun.
I see it a bit differently, going through my horny mid-teen stages in the mid 00's the internet was a different place yeah there were the MSN chat rooms and forums where I sometimes interacted with adults a bit, for the most part communities were smaller and all of my adventures into ignoring +18 warnings were entirely private and anonymous. Contrast that to today where everything is social, with telegram and twitter and every other platform not only putting the adult content in easy reach of young people but also putting them a click away from interacting with the people creating and sharing adult content in a way that didn't exist when I was underage myself and it really does disgust me (but then even as a lad with bisexual tendencies I never did see the appeal in getting bummed by a fat hairy 50 year old unlike a lot of my peers seemed to).

Anecdotally a lot of adult performs on twitter just have massive long block lists of all the underage kids who've tried DMing them.
>> No. 31340 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 10:43 pm
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>>31338
I never went on specific MSN chat rooms, I don't think, but I went on IRC and met a few people whom I then added on MSN. One was a woman in her 40s, who was fully aware that I was 14 or 15 or whatever age I was. It only occurred to me many years later that this was really quite a strange thing to happen. Was she grooming me? Because it didn't work. Does she just have the world's most depressing life, where pursuing friendships with children is the only interaction she gets? That sounds awful if so. I really can't understand why she would want to speak to me more than just in passing.

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>> No. 30864 Anonymous
20th June 2021
Sunday 9:42 pm
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How do I meet girls? Obviously it's hard during lockdown. Online dating isn't working. Getting conversation out of lasses on those apps is like getting blood from a stone, and when I do meet girls from them it goes nowhere. One of us, usually her, gets bored after a date or two.

I'm not naturally a very social being. I don't chat to people, I don't make friends on holiday.

I've looked at meetup before, there are casual board game meets or generic social meets, but they're full of slightly socially maladjusted lads like myself. The things I actually want to do skew heavily male. I don't think turning up to a knitting club or something would go down well. Trying to pick up hobbies to increase my social circle seems like a good idea, but it's quite indirect. Friends are nice, but I want to meet women.

Can I talk to girls in pubs or bars, is that a thing people actually do?

Do I try ultimate frisbee or korfball? Crossfit?
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>> No. 30869 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 6:09 pm
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I see the usual speed dating suggestion being made, if your attractive, not shy and are capable of striking up a brief conversation with a stranger then go for it.

My experience with speed dating was guys like the above highlighted the socially awkward even more the usual
>> No. 30870 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 8:38 pm
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The solution is obvious.

>>/b/425050
>> No. 30871 Anonymous
21st June 2021
Monday 9:28 pm
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>>30870

More broadly, just try to put yourself in a room where you're the only man - craft groups, creative writing classes, holistic therapy courses, whatever. Scarcity value kicks in and you're assumed to be a decent catch simply because of the lack of other men.
>> No. 31290 Anonymous
25th November 2021
Thursday 2:52 pm
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>>30871
Then when you go out together into the greater world you're suddenly cast up against the rest of manhood and quite prossibly fall short in comparison.
>> No. 31293 Anonymous
25th November 2021
Thursday 3:40 pm
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>>31290

Once someone's fallen for you they don't tend to drop you for the first gigachad they see in public, you've got to get your hooks in during the basket weaving phase.

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>> No. 30898 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 1:57 pm
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I never recovered from the end of university. I'm nearly 30 now and have not made a single friend or acquaintane since the day university ended and my established friendship group disintegrated overnight. I do everything alone. I drink alone, I go to the gym alone, my job is remote. I've never been in a serious relationship and likely never will be.

I don't fit in the world, I never had problems socialising or talking to strangers or whatever, but I don't fit in society. It happens around me. Crying now. I don't know what to do. Attempted suicide a few years ago, obviously failed. Nobody knows about it, because there is nobody to know about it.
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>> No. 31198 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:02 am
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My birthday is in a couple weeks, as I've been feeling a little blue lately I tried to organise something but have found that I don't really have any friends anymore.

What's the most effective way of making friends in the big city. I don't have any musical talent and I'm struggling to find the kind of volunteering that would make me friends my own age (early 30s). I can have relationships and people seem to enjoy my company but I just can't seem to make friends. My career would be the obvious choice but I tend to build a wall around myself in the office and struggle in a group setting.

Are house shares a good way of making friends or is it a horrible gamble? Do I really have to listen to what they're saying about using bumble for friends or does that just lead to getting myself porked?
>> No. 31199 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:33 am
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>>31198

https://www.meetup.com/
>> No. 31200 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:45 am
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>>31198
If you go to a pub quiz on your own, you will be surrounded by other weirdos and, more importantly, the quizmaster will most likely be amiable and outgoing and eager to befriend you. He will also be friends with other people, whom you can then befriend too. You might need to do this a few times, but pub quizzes are great so it'll be worth it.
>> No. 31201 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 5:30 pm
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>>31198
House shares are a very expensive gamble. You could end up with a bunch of likeminded people and forge friendships, or you might live with selfish cunts and realise you're stuck with them for 12 months. I've had it both ways. I wouldn't recommend it as a way to make friends, just because it's so risky and could have you living in a shit environment for a year.
>> No. 31202 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 6:12 pm
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>>31201
Fuck, well I jumped the gun this afternoon then. Is there anything to watch out for? I'm at least trying to avoid living with just one other housemate.

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