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>> No. 433819 Anonymous
18th January 2020
Saturday 1:15 pm
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New weekend thread: Flashman edition.

Right, lads. Now that we can post again what are you up to?
130 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 434404 Anonymous
15th February 2020
Saturday 8:16 pm
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I started getting Huel ads on my alt facebook account and also these, possibly as I've mentioned the word "police" a few times in conversation. I think this is a good example of targeted advertising missing the mark by a long shot.
>> No. 434405 Anonymous
15th February 2020
Saturday 8:37 pm
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>>434404

I also get police recruitment ads seemingly because I spend a fair amount of time complaining about them being bastards.

The amount of Huel ads is ridiculous, though I think I've always had them, but I notice them now because of the excellent marketing they've done here.
>> No. 434406 Anonymous
15th February 2020
Saturday 8:52 pm
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>>434404

Christ, she looks like she's had a hard life.
>> No. 434407 Anonymous
15th February 2020
Saturday 9:05 pm
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>>434406

>she looks like she's had a hard life

I've heard it called city miles.
>> No. 434410 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 12:05 am
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I subscribed to CuriosityStream last week, essentially a streaming service run by one of the people who first set-up the discovery channel. The idea is going back to the 90s documentary television when it wasn't all the Hitler Channel or Ancient Aliens.

Don't know what I was expecting, there's a few good documentaries but it's all very American and surface level the miniseries on the Bronze age is okay. Nebula is equally disappointing, you get it free with CuriosityStream as a kind of "youtube run by content creators" but the exclusives are rare and generally things like Isaac Arthur are just short episodes that brush over topics while the best ones like Paperclip Maximiser get released on youtube anyway.
>> No. 434411 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 12:05 am
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>>434404
Firearms officers, literally the most cowardly snivelling bunch of the whole fucking lot of them. Perfect for a recruitment drive though I guess.
>> No. 434412 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 11:42 am
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Think I'm going to build a desk today, or at the very least get the timber and hardware for it.

It's for a small room so was just planning to grab a 3metre scaffold board or similar sawn softwood from the local yard, cutting it down to three 1m lengths, and holding it together with flat steel bar, and using my existing desk's reasonably nice legs. Don't really have the space or facility to be jointing and gluing the boards and making it look seamless, but I think the industrial look is fashionable anyway, plus you won't see it under my shit anyway. Will just oil it to finish it.

The trouble is, while I was googling around for ideas and direction (I have almost no skill) I saw a bloke selling almost exactly what I want, with steel legs and all, for £115. My project would already be about £60 in materials, assuming I end up buying new timber anyway. If I added the nice steel legs to my own build that would be another £35 at least, so the bloke making them is very reasonably priced, presumably he's picking up reclaimed material for next to nothing.

I like to make stuff myself whenever I can, but I feel like even though it's a simple table, I will probably be better off paying for the labour of someone who does this for a living. I can't really see how I could fuck up such a basic design, but I'd probably struggle anyway, I don't even really have a workbench to do this on.

Pictured : the very basic design
>> No. 434432 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 2:14 pm
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>>434412

Is it worth paying £20 to lose the joy of building it yourself?

Sawn wood might be rather rough for a working surface. Applying oil without a brush would be pretty difficult, i imagine.
One of the reasons the pictured table looks good is because it's finished - that is, sanded down and ready for use as both a table and decorative piece of furniture.
The industrial look is cool. To make it more than a simple sawn wooden table it'd need something to suggest that. Maybe chamfer the edges and perhaps a little selective smoothing and engraving to add decor?

But then again the kind of 'sawn wood' i've worked with is from pallets, so maybe from a timber yard it'd already be presentable quality.

Is that a candle under a bell jar? Why?
>> No. 434433 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 2:31 pm
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>>434432

>Is it worth paying £20 to lose the joy of building it yourself?

Definitely not, but as you suggest, finishing it to satisfactory quality might well be beyond me, in terms of technique and equipment - I'd of course sand it, oil it, and maybe wax it, but it would all be by hand, and frankly other than building a shed I'm no woodworker. I agree with you about smoothing the edges, had planned that myself, though in the context of the rest of the room it's going it, thick sharp edges would probably work too.

I forgot to mention, if I went with the timber that's readily available to me, I would still have to narrow the boards by about half an inch per board - trivial for this laddo with a table saw, but I worry about making a straight rip cut down a full metre of wood. I'd have to do it by hand, very carefully. Certainly achievable but potentially an issue.

I really do want to do it myself, but given my workspace (small bench in the garden) and my tool situation (plenty of hand stuff but no powered sanders or cutting tools), I fear I might be overestimating my capabilities or underestimating the job, or both.

>Is that a candle under a bell jar? Why?

The bloke's selling on etsy so I think he has to do it to appeal to the twigs in vases crowd.
>> No. 434456 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 7:48 pm
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>>434433


>> No. 434457 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 7:52 pm
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>>434456

Quite.

Bloke who makes the tables got back to me and said it would be £40 extra to reduce the width of the tabletop. For those keeping score that's £13.33 per cut. He can fuck off.
>> No. 434461 Anonymous
16th February 2020
Sunday 8:15 pm
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>>434457
He'd have to redo the legs as well as putting a fresh metal ending on the thing, that's not completely unreasonable.
>> No. 434477 Anonymous
17th February 2020
Monday 6:26 pm
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I thought I caught a whiff of some proper evil piss earlier, then I remembered that I'm steaming some broccoli and asparagus for dinner. I hope I remember this tomorrow morning when I get worried about the smell of my micturation.
>> No. 434698 Anonymous
21st February 2020
Friday 9:28 pm
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>>434477

Unless you're continually pissing short despite being hydrated or have lower back pain then you're generally ok. If you piss quick and dark yellow down a 2.5L bottle of mineral water. Remember that Vit B supplements make you piss orange also.

Obviously a burning jap's eye while taking a leak is another issue and whatnot.
>> No. 434707 Anonymous
21st February 2020
Friday 10:28 pm
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>>434477

Aah asparagus piss. Sugar puffs also make your tinkle more 'aromatic'.
>> No. 434708 Anonymous
21st February 2020
Friday 11:13 pm
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>>434477

I had far too much coffee yesterday during the day, so by the evening, my urine had a proper strong whiff of coffee to it.


Fun fact: nomad tribes in the Siberian steppe used to have a ritual where the tribe's shaman would eat fly agaric and then speak to dead ancestors in his ensuing state of hallucination. The tribesmen would then later collect and drink the shaman's urine, because most of the toxin from the fly agaric was metabolised in the shaman's body, and when you then drank his urine, all you'd get was a good buzz but not the full-on hallucination.

Another way to do this is to drink deer urine during mushroom season. Deer love fly agaric due to their hallucinogenic properties, and by drinking deer urine, you get the same kind of milder buzz like from the shaman's urine.

Self sage for rambling.
>> No. 434711 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 3:33 am
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>>434708
> Fun fact: nomad tribes in the Siberian steppe used to have a ritual where the tribe's shaman would eat fly agaric and then speak to dead ancestors in his ensuing state of hallucination.

On my twenty-sixth birthday I ate twenty dried grams of supposed fly agaric mushrooms off that internet. I'm still not entirely convinced that I'm not sat in a bedsit in Willesden Green tripping my tiny balls off.
>> No. 434717 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 11:36 am
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>>434711

>supposed fly agaric mushrooms off that internet

Why didn't you go out and collect your own? They are plentiful in Britain during mushroom season.

Also, twenty grams dried was probably a pretty reckless dose.
>> No. 434731 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 1:47 pm
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This weekend marks eight years without smoking for me. Haven't had a single fag since. Not even a drag. Well chuffed with myself.

I used to smoke about 25 a day, sometimes more, and it was really beginning to affect my health. I quit after a nasty bout of laryngitis, which my ENT specialist assured me was very likely exacerbated by me being a chain smoker. So that was it for me. Also, a friend of my parents' had just died of terminal lung cancer. That was really all the warning I needed. And I haven't looked back.
>> No. 434732 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 1:51 pm
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>>434731
Ah, whatever. The achievement was complete at least three years ago. Stop going on about it.
>> No. 434734 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 1:59 pm
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>>434732
Nonsense. Once you've been hooked, you're never not an addict thereafter.

Good on you, >>434731
>> No. 434736 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 2:14 pm
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>>434732

Being off cigarettes is much like being a recovering alcoholic. For much of the rest of your life, you run the risk of slipping back into your old addiction routine if you even just casually take the habit up again.

I'm not a militant non-smoker though. I'm fine with people having a fag standing next to me. The way I figure, after a decade and a half of chain smoking, a bit of a whiff of smoke from someone else isn't going to kill me. My lungs have been through far worse.
>> No. 434739 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 2:50 pm
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>>434736
I've passed the ten-year mark, though I've only started to smoke a lot more in the past 2 years. Should really, really get round to quitting, I'm in my early thirties now and at the age where it starts to take its toll. Also I miss ten-packs.
>> No. 434741 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 2:53 pm
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>>434740

Second hand smoke? The man's some kind of Evel Knievel!
>> No. 434742 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 2:57 pm
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Got locked out last night, had to call a locksmith. He drilled the lock and opened the door but left the lock in so today I had to pick the shed padlock to get my drill to teach myself to drill the main lock from the other side. I also learned that the neighbours won't call the police even though they can definitely hear the loud drilling at 2am.
>> No. 434749 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 3:35 pm
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>>434742

How come you could pick the padlock but not the door lock? Was it a dimple? They make bumpkeys for them now but I haven't had the chance to test one out.
>> No. 434750 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 3:41 pm
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>>434739

They say that if you quit before age 40 and then live a healthy lifestyle, your overall life expectancy will almost be that of a person who never smoked.
>> No. 434752 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 3:49 pm
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>>434749

The picks were inside the house.
>> No. 434753 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 4:02 pm
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>>434752
I've not done it in years, but it makes sense to tie a key to some out of the way bushes 1/2 mile or more away from your house. It saved me once.

Or if you're decent at playing secret agents, leave some picks accessible from outside of the house. I'm sure you've already wished you did this.
>> No. 434754 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 4:02 pm
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>>434752

That doesn't explain why you had to drill the house lock from inside (which is where your picks were) but I'm probably envisioning the wrong kind of lock. I mean if you had to jump out of the window to get to the shed and all why did you even have to pick the lock? Just live your life jumping in and out of the kitchen window. Live the dream. Let yourself just BE.
>> No. 434758 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 4:20 pm
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>>434753
I've a good place to put a spare when I get a replacement.

>>434754
Because when he drilled the lock from the outside it meant even the spare key that was also inside the house wouldn't work from the other side as the lock was fucked. Once he let me in I could get in and out but couldn't remove the lock from the door to measure it for its replacement because somehow it was still latched and that was catching.
It was a dimple lock with some sort of magnet in it too but that was sort of moot by that point.
>> No. 434759 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 4:31 pm
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>>434758
> It was a dimple lock with some sort of magnet in it too but that was sort of moot by that point.

Understood. You'd have been fucked trying to pick a dimple anyway which is probably why he drilled it. He left it latched to afford you some security from random arseholes just popping into your place while you had a kip, I expect.

In any case once you drill a lock you have to replace it anyway.

-t novice lockpicker who picked his first locks not six months ago but now embarrassingly considers himself an expert in the subject.

Sigh.
>> No. 434784 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 8:06 pm
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Eating a bell pepper and onion stir fry here. Really delicious.

It contains loads of homegrown tabasco chili pepper from last year's harvest. I'm about to run out, so it's a good job I've got half a dozen new plants in my propagator at the moment.
>> No. 434785 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 8:17 pm
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>>434759
>You'd have been fucked trying to pick a dimple anyway
You're surely right, but even so there are pickers that make very light work of them. I guess your keen hobbyist might well be better than your bog standard locksmith in picking ability.
>> No. 434789 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 8:38 pm
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>>434785
It's just business. Your average Locksmith would rather spend 5 minutes to drill a lock and take your cash then charge you even more to replace it. They could just pick it and fuck off, but they can charge out of the arse for an emergency replacement.
>> No. 434790 Anonymous
22nd February 2020
Saturday 8:48 pm
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>>434785
Add in the fact that picking a brand new lock in a vice on your desk is usually going to be far easier than being down on your knees in an awkward spot trying to pick a lock that's had a few years worth of wear and weather.
>> No. 434802 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 9:42 am
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>>434789
It took him 45 minutes to drill the lock. The price was agreed beforehand so he didn't spend extra time to bump the price up. I bought the lock myself and was well aware it was going to be a bastard to get open.
I'm buying the replacement myself, it'll arrive Wednesday.

>>434784
Homegrown tabasco sounds great.
>> No. 434808 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 12:37 pm
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>>434802

>Homegrown tabasco sounds great.

The variety I grow is actualy called Etna Piccante, and they're from Italy. They're not sold as Tabasco chillies as such, but they're nonetheless Tabasco-type chilllies in appearance, flavour, and Scoville spiciness. They're actually a bit more spicy than Tabasco, at 65,000 SHU, compared to true Tabasco which have 30,000 to 50,000.

The advantage of Etna Piccante is that it's a high-yield variety (I counted over 50 peppers per plant one year), and that one fully grown pepper that's barely two inches long is enough to spice up a meal for four people.
>> No. 434830 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 6:08 pm
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>>434785
> You're surely right, but even so there are pickers that make very light work of them.

I'd love to see that. I picked 4 out of 5 5 to 7 pin tumbler locks (bought from an actual lock shop) on my first day out the gate but I honestly wouldn't know where to begin picking a dimple lock besides buying a bump key and having at it.

Major kudos to whoever figured dimple locks out.
>> No. 434834 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 6:35 pm
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>>434830


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGU0tFiJsbs
I'm sure there's one somewhere of him picking one of these locks with the little magnet on the key but I haven't been able to find it. The technique was to carefully place a little magnet in the right place, then picking as normal.

Anyway in theory dimple locks can be as easy to pick as a normal lock, just the low height means you need a more specialised tool and more dexterity to reach the pins. The more important benefit of dimple locks is that the change in layout means there is more space inside the locks for extra pins, security features and other mechanical shenanigans.
I've always been more impressed with disc locks, again they can be picked quickly by someone who knows what they're doing, but the tools are specialised and not readily available.
>> No. 434836 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 6:46 pm
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>>434834

That video is amazing. He makes it look no more complex than picking a cylinder lock. I'd imagine that if he didn't have an example key to see where the pins, sliders, and dimples were then he'd have a slightly harder time of it. That said, that probably it's a major hurdle for most locksmiths.
>> No. 434838 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 6:56 pm
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>>434836
I imagine there are videos of his where he picks dimples sent to him without the key. LPL is beyond reproach.
>> No. 434840 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 7:37 pm
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>>434834
It's all a bit irrelevant as home breakers don't pick doors, they just smash or drill their way in.
>> No. 434841 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 7:44 pm
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>>434840
Lockpicking is probably the preserve of the security services. Maybe not even them. Who lockpicks in real life? There must be someone.
>> No. 434849 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 8:57 pm
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>>434841
Pentesters sometimes but they're more likely to rely on tailgating or blowing air under the door to trip the motion sensor than bothering to actually pick a lock.
>> No. 434850 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 9:22 pm
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>>434840>>434841
Cruder attack techniques such as bump-keys and raking are easy enough for anyone to do without skill, and that's the real reason it's worthwhile spending a few quid on good locks.
>> No. 434853 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 11:16 pm
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>>434850

Yeah, having picked and raked a few locks I'd definitely go for a dimple lock if given the chance purely because they effort to pick or force one is at at least double the effort to mash the door down.

Sage because I wish I lived in the US where I could have a claymore mine 3 feet behind the door. Reeeee.
>> No. 434856 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 11:27 pm
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>>434853
Booby traps are illegal in the US.
>> No. 434857 Anonymous
23rd February 2020
Sunday 11:34 pm
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>>434856
Stop being a bumbder, lad.
>> No. 434866 Anonymous
24th February 2020
Monday 10:37 am
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>>434857
Is that Johnny Vaughan?

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