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>> No. 432901 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 3:15 pm
432901 The Weekend Thread
Fun and festive edition.

You've got all your shopping done, yeah?
Expand all images.
>> No. 432902 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 3:29 pm
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>>432901
Just doing the last of it. Dreading leaving the house though.
>> No. 432908 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 5:39 pm
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Still trying to find a present for a friend. She needs cheering up, her cat got run over last week. Anything to do with her possibly getting a new cat soon seems a bit distasteful at present. A bit like giving someone a baby toy who just miscarried, and telling them, "Hey, you'll have another kid at some point".
>> No. 432914 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 7:29 pm
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Buying the presents is fine, but I fucking hate wrapping it all up.
>> No. 432915 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 7:39 pm
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Just giving people saplings and houseplants I've grown myself, easy. Wrapping is going to be a pain in the arse.
>> No. 432917 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 7:52 pm
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Will get my Dad a bottle of wine on Christmas Eve and I'm all done. That's literally it. Well, maybe I'll get him some cheese too.
>> No. 432918 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 7:53 pm
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I've got my little sisters some Switch games so they're sorted. It's the adults in my family who are a pain in the arse, dunno why we bother.

I think I'm just going make everyone a little box/hamper of local food or something like that, sounds decent enough right lads?
>> No. 432919 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 7:54 pm
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>>432915
That's a good idea.
>> No. 432920 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 8:02 pm
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I haven't done anything yet. I've only really got two people to buy physical presents for this year as some have sodded off for Christmas and we'll the whole presents thing at new year instead and a couple of other people I'll just order one of those luxury hamper things for. Reminds me, I'd better get on that...
>> No. 432921 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 8:08 pm
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I've spoilt the Mrs by getting her a Switch essentially solely so she could play Zelda and Animal Crossing when that comes out. Cost a good whack but she's not going to have a lot to open on Christmas morning.

On the upside I can get Pokemon for it.
>> No. 432922 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 8:21 pm
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>>432921
>On the upside I can get Pokemon for it.
Do you only get to pokehermon when you buy her expensive shit?
>> No. 432923 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 8:32 pm
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>>432922

No, but I wasn't going to buy an entire console for one game was I.
>> No. 432928 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 9:45 pm
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Oh, fuck. I inadvertently gave my mum permission to buy me something clothing related for Christmas. The litany of weird jewelry and embarrassing t-shirts I've accrued over the years should have hammered home why that's a bad idea by now.

>>432923
I need an excuse to buy someone a PS4 for this reason, then I can finally play Bloodborne.
>> No. 432930 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 10:11 pm
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>>432928
>to buy someone a PS4 for this reason

My youngest has asked if we can upgrade our PS4 to a Pro version. I might finally get some daylight gaming in!
>> No. 432931 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 11:02 pm
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Anxiety Scenario: You're round your girlfriends parents house and have to take a fat shit. After wiping up and appreciating the frankly enormous mound you've created you flush but the turd doesn't go. It's proper clogged.

What do you do? Asking for a friend.

>You've got all your shopping done, yeah?

I just need to get something for my dad but he's someone who doesn't like receiving much. A couple bags of sweets and he'll be chuffed. He has the right way of thinking if you ask me, if I need something I'll buy it myself and so much of Christmas is just tat people don't really want. Shame nobody else thinks this way now that I'm tabulating how much I've already spent on this bullshit.

>>432908
A houseplant would work as a project to get her mind off. Something she can wake up and see rather than being alone.

>>432914
Don't get cheap wrapping paper. I've been using some very colourful language with all the rips and my presents are starting to look a bit Frankenstein as a result.
>> No. 432935 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 1:02 am
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>>432931

>Anxiety Scenario: You're round your girlfriends parents house and have to take a fat shit. After wiping up and appreciating the frankly enormous mound you've created you flush but the turd doesn't go. It's proper clogged.

My girlfriend did this at my flat on our second date. Probably how I knew she's a keeper.
>> No. 432936 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 8:25 am
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>>432931

>What do you do?

Lob it out of the window.
>> No. 432939 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:14 pm
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>>432931

>A houseplant would work as a project to get her mind off

Good idea, but:

https://www.petmd.com/cat/emergency/poisoning-toxicity/e_ct_poisonous_plants
>> No. 432942 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:32 pm
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>>432939

https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/toxic-and-non-toxic-plants?field_non_toxicity_value%5B%5D=02
>> No. 432943 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:37 pm
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>>432942

So it's basically either get a cat OR have plants.
>> No. 432944 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:41 pm
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Plants are so much better than pets. No hair, more oxygen and they don't make you cry when they die.
>> No. 432945 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:54 pm
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Happy to learn Anchovies are "least concern".
>> No. 432947 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 12:58 pm
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>>432943
No, see where it says "Current View: Non-Toxic to Cats" then underneath it says "Items: 1 - 15 of 564"? Right there on the front page are Rubber plants which are good houseplants.
>> No. 432951 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 2:26 pm
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>>432945


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxnlx7JoAP4
>> No. 432963 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 7:00 pm
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Feeling very unfestive today.
>> No. 432964 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 7:08 pm
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I ate a lot and lay in bed until I got too hot to stay in and finally got out.
>> No. 432965 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 7:18 pm
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>>432963
I've just realised it's the shortest day of the year. Hmmm.

At least it starts getting lighter now!
>> No. 432966 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 8:50 pm
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I think click and collect is the best concept in the whole world. Actually less fannying around than waiting in all day for couriers to arrive.
>> No. 432978 Anonymous
22nd December 2019
Sunday 12:43 pm
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Went out to the pub with some mates yesterday. Got smashed on mulled wine.

Worst fucking headache I've had in a long time.
>> No. 432981 Anonymous
22nd December 2019
Sunday 2:44 pm
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I've become addicted to brie and crackers.
>> No. 432982 Anonymous
22nd December 2019
Sunday 4:09 pm
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I'd been terribly blocked up all day yesterday (I'm blaming Star Wars and definitely not the massive burrito and nachos we had before it) and I've just had the most royally satisfying dump.

Also Star Wars was dumb as all hell. I can't say it was bad, it's just basically on the same level as Doctor Who now, and I can only find people who take it seriously incredibly silly. I liked the unintelligible little dude who works on C3PO's memory and goes "Whaaaay!" a lot. He's basically what I'm like on a night out.
>> No. 432995 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 8:11 am
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>>432982

>Also Star Wars was dumb as all hell.


I've always found the entire franchise daft, but that's just me.

I brought myself to watch a film or two of it, with the best intentions, but it just does not do anything for me, no matter how befuddled that fact leaves my friends.
>> No. 432996 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 11:13 am
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>>432995

The only ones that are worth seeing were quite possibly made before you were born and have been edited since in a way that makes them worse and a tonal mess so no one new gets to see how good they were now. So I can't blame you for thinking they are all shit. But the first 2 at least (now called 4 and 5) were wonderful films.
>> No. 432997 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 11:17 am
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>>432996
Rogue One was alright.
>> No. 432998 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 11:25 am
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>>432996

ROTJ had some very good moments. Framed by the fucking ewoks.
>> No. 432999 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 11:54 am
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>>432996>>432998
I never understand why people moan about the Ewoks. They're harmless enough.

>>432997
Get your head checked.
>> No. 433000 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 11:59 am
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An Ewok walks into a bar. I'd like a ..... beer please.

Certainly, but why the little pawsuse?
>> No. 433002 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 6:33 pm
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So far my main experience of Christmas this year has been being asked to get things off high shelves for people as I'm by far the tallest person in the family.
I'm 5'8".
>> No. 433005 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 6:46 pm
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>>433002
My uncle's best friend is nicknamed Titch. Titch is 6'1". Titch's mates who dubbed him that range between 6'3" and 6'8".
>> No. 433006 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 6:51 pm
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>>433002>>433005
Do you pair live in Middle Earth?
>> No. 433007 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 7:22 pm
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>>433002

>being asked to get things off high shelves for people

I've meant to ask how your new job in Tesco's is going.
>> No. 433010 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 8:53 pm
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>>433007
How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
>> No. 433011 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 8:54 pm
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I think I've finished it all - now to do the wrapping, which I dread possibly even more. Can't I just spray paint everything?
>> No. 433012 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 9:13 pm
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>>433011
Gift bads, lad. Gift bags.
>> No. 433013 Anonymous
23rd December 2019
Monday 9:39 pm
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>>433011
As >>433010 says, gift bags. If anyone complains point out they can be kept and reused next year without looking as tatty as reused wrapping paper, doing your bit for the planet innit. Just don't let ones that she'd glitter or they'll point out that's worse.
>> No. 433015 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 12:42 am
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>>433012>>433013
I wish I had listened to you both.

Just wrapped a memory foam pillow. Carnage of sellotape and cheap wrapping paper. Fuming.
>> No. 433021 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 9:34 am
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Bah humbug!
>> No. 433022 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 10:41 am
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>>433021
I had to leave a friends last night coz I was half cut and being a miserable cynical cunt about it all. Couldn't handle the fucking shitty xmas songs anymore. I don't think they were enjoying my snarky bullshit so I just made my excuses and fucked off.

Think I'm just gonna avoid people as much as possible until I can just go back to miserable meaningless day to day grind.
>> No. 433023 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 12:18 pm
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One more sleep!
>> No. 433024 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 12:58 pm
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>>433022
It's the xmas songs I hate the most too - particularly the ones from the sixties/seventies they seem to love playing at the moment in shops. Is it because they're royalty free?
>> No. 433042 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 12:21 am
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Congratualtions on reaching another Festivas. You aren't dead yet.
>> No. 433054 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 5:00 pm
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>>433042
When is the airing of grievances?
>> No. 433059 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 7:29 pm
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>>433054
>> No. 433103 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 5:17 pm
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I'm off work until next Thursday. Just got an e-mail from my boss that there's no point in me coming in Monday and Tuesday, something about plumbers having to fix a leak and having to shut off the heat and water supply in the entire building, so I will be working from home for a bit on those two days.
>> No. 433105 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 5:46 pm
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>>433042
No - but we're in that melancholy bit of Christmas where everyone thinks they will be soon.
>> No. 433106 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 5:51 pm
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Spent all day cleaning my bedroom, well, since one o'clock, but the day only really starts when you get out of the shower. Regardless it looks basically the same, just less dusty and I moved a bunch of things over to the left.
>> No. 433110 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 6:27 pm
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>>433106
I put away the clothes i don't actually use and now have a neat pile of 2 t-shirts and two trousers against the wall. Starting to think i should stop being lazy and actually build some furniture.
>> No. 433170 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 5:36 pm
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Would taking crack a couple hours after taking valium be a dumb idea (beyond taking crack at all I mean)? Would the valium undermine the crack?
>> No. 433172 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 5:41 pm
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>>433170
It'll mellow out the crack high a bit but contrary to the image of a combination of uppers and downers "balancing" each other out it's more like putting your feet on the brakes and accelerator at the same time for your heart's health. Won't kill you unless you're doing a lot of both or often but it's a bit of a waste of both drugs too.
>> No. 433179 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 7:14 pm
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>>433172
A bit? I'm inexperienced with valium and hadn't taken crack before. While it was certainly moreish to the point I made another purchase in the same night, I felt the whole thing was underwhelming, not what I expected given its reputation at all.

I'm tempted to go again tonight in the hopes it was the valium that sabotaged things, but then maybe it's just a purity issue given these are my neighbourhood crackhead's dealers.

It feels silly to ask, but how dumb am I being right now? In my mind I'm just passing the time before I go back to work on Thursday. Probably wouldn't have done it all had my initial Christmas plans fell through; I wanted to spend it trying LSD, 2CB and GHB but those shipments never arrived.
>> No. 433182 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 7:50 pm
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>>433179
Your initial plans sound like a lot of fun but I think smoking crack just to pass the time before work is fairly obviously a bad idea.
>> No. 433184 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:11 pm
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>it was certainly moreish to the point I made another purchase in the same night
>I'm tempted to go again tonight
>how dumb am I being right now?

m8
>> No. 433185 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:30 pm
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File
removed
Was cleaning up an old hard disk and just found this.

A sight to warm the cockles. Happy New Year lads.
>> No. 433186 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:32 pm
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File
removed
>>433185
Just for balance.

I also found this.
>> No. 433187 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:40 pm
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>>433185
>>433186

/b/ is supposed to be sfw. I'd forgotten too, frankly.
>> No. 433188 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:46 pm
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Don't do crack, lads.

>>433185>>433186
Repost somewhere, I desire to know the horrifying truth behind these file removals.
>> No. 433189 Anonymous
30th December 2019
Monday 8:58 pm
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>>433184
I'm doing it. Maybe this can turn out like that legendary case on Reddit where someone got addicted to heroin in much the same way and ruined his life.
>> No. 433199 Anonymous
31st December 2019
Tuesday 12:52 am
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>>433189
If anyone cares to read, I think it's vaguely interesting.
https://www.reddit.com/user/SpontaneousH/submitted/?sort=new
>> No. 433209 Anonymous
31st December 2019
Tuesday 12:34 pm
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>>433199
It's almost comical how quickly that progressed. Who am i kidding, i laughed.
>> No. 433217 Anonymous
31st December 2019
Tuesday 3:08 pm
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Would you say Christmas Turkey made into a soup and having spent 40 minutes out of the fridge in transport would still be good to eat? I had some made for me to get rid of the leftovers because I'm sick. Unfortunately I know what Christmas food poisoning is like and don't want to repeat the experience.
>> No. 433218 Anonymous
31st December 2019
Tuesday 3:21 pm
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>>433188
One of them was an original Narkiss image. I'm going to keep it and post it next year.
>> No. 433237 Anonymous
31st December 2019
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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>>433217
40 minutes out of the fridge? Fuck's sake, m8, get stuck in. That won't have made a damn of difference.

(I'm rolling the dysentery dice here today - roasting a turkey that had BBE of the 26th. Been in a cold fridge since, and didn't smell too bad. I'd be strongly advising against eating it, if asked on t'internet, but fuck it, I could stand to lose some weight, worst case.)

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