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>> No. 432333 Anonymous
1st December 2019
Sunday 12:00 am
432333 Christmas 2019
It's the first of December. It's that time of year again.

Open your advent calendar chocolates, listen to Andrew, put up your tree, put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight, surviving the Christmas party at work, watching shit on telly.

You know the drill by now, lads.
118 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 432813 Anonymous
16th December 2019
Monday 5:09 pm
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>>432809

They've found love in a hopeless place
>> No. 432821 Anonymous
16th December 2019
Monday 7:23 pm
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>>432809

>I'm in McDonald's at the minute and I've just witnessed one of the cleaners slowly and tenderly cleaning the thigh of the other cleaner after he spilled sauce on it. They've gone to the toilets together now.

Horny as fuck m8, no irony. Why aren't porn plots like that?
>> No. 432825 Anonymous
16th December 2019
Monday 9:03 pm
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>>432821
If you want me to truly set the scene then I'm not sure if he was special needs but he was certainly on the simple side. He was early twenties, ginger and he had one leg longer than the other so he walked with a pronounced gait. She had a motherly air to her; I reckon she was in her late forties with all of the signs of a life of hardship ageing her, but she had a bit of a minxy twinkle in her eyes and smile.
>> No. 432834 Anonymous
17th December 2019
Tuesday 11:48 pm
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Help my girlfriend out lads, what do I want for Christmas? I'm a man of simple pleasures and practical tastes so I'm impossible to shop for. I dropped a hint that a new workbag would be nice but she probably thought I was taking the piss.

>>432821
>Why aren't porn plots like that?

I wonder this myself sometimes. Even watching/reading a supposedly professionally made steaming scene often just descends into an awkward by-the-numbers games.
>> No. 432835 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 1:00 am
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>>432825

Maybe it's an indication of how fucked the country is, but I found that rather heartwarming.
>> No. 432841 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 6:34 pm
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I've received a £20 Amazon gift voucher at work today and it's burning a hole in my pocket, but when I've looked there's nothing I want to spend it on. Almost everything I want is actually cheaper elsewhere.
>> No. 432842 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 6:35 pm
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>>432841
Buy £20 worth of those sugarless gummy bears that give you the shits and leave them out in a bowl at work.
>> No. 432843 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 6:46 pm
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>>432842
"No results for those sugarless gummy bears that give you the shits."
>> No. 432844 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 6:49 pm
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>>432843
>After stories of the candies’ effects went viral, the company stopped selling them.
Damn shame
>> No. 432845 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 6:53 pm
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>>432843

https://imgur.com/gallery/83FXN
>> No. 432847 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 7:02 pm
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>>432845

Where do people get the motivation to write a whole long paragraph about their experience with something as utterly irrelevant in the greater scheme of things as sugar free gummy bears.

Global warming is here, the planet is dying, but you're preoccupied with telling the world how great or how shit you think sugar free gummy bears are.
>> No. 432849 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 8:49 pm
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>>432841
Get yourself some ultra soft underwear I recommend Sihohan but get the next size up. Nothing like mincing around the office feeling like you're wearing nothing at all.

>>432847
>Global warming is here, the planet is dying, but you're preoccupied with telling the world how great or how shit you think sugar free gummy bears are.

Sounds like the usual smoke and mirrors from Big-Gummy. How much are they paying you, lad?
>> No. 432850 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 9:11 pm
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>>432801
> All we need now is the climate bore

>>432847

And up he pops, the gang's all here!
>> No. 432851 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 9:15 pm
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>>432849

Sounds more like Big Sugar worrying that people switch to sugar substitutes.
>> No. 432892 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 12:18 pm
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I've got a new weatherproof coat. It's amazing how dry and insulated I feel wearing it.
>> No. 432893 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 12:40 pm
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>>432892
I like my goose-down coat so much that I often put it on first thing in the morning, its so snug and warm.

I think this is all going a bit hygge.
>> No. 432894 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 12:44 pm
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>>432847
>you're preoccupied with telling the world

You're almost like a character from a Viz strip.
>> No. 432895 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 12:51 pm
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>>432893
I've never realised coats could be warm before. Usually I have a woollen duffel coat that keeps the cold out but this coat actually has me snug and toasty.
>> No. 432912 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 6:07 pm
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Christmas fuddle at work yesterday. There was shitloads of unopened food left over at the end of today so I've now got enough snacks to last me a fair while; crisps, dip, potato salad, crackers, cheese, brownies, sausage rolls, mini pork pies, even an entire cake. I don't care if I look like a greedy fucker, nobody else wanted to take it home.
>> No. 432970 Anonymous
21st December 2019
Saturday 9:33 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q2fkqGO5jE
>> No. 433025 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 1:05 pm
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I've bought all the presents for this year but I've run into a conundrum. The gift for my niece requires batteries so I put some in so she could play with it right away, problem is if the box is now knocked one way too much the switch turns the light on. No point is giving her a present with dead batteries so I only put a bow and ribbon around it. That way if it turns on I can quickly turn it off.

My issue is that now she won't get the unwrapping experience but everyone else will. Do you think this will be a bit cunty and I should get to working out how I can stop the toy knocking about so I can wrap it?
>> No. 433026 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 1:17 pm
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>>433025
Take the batteries out but wrap them up inside too.
>> No. 433027 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 1:42 pm
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>>433025
Kids love the unwrapping more than the gift itself. Also, depending on how old, she'll want her uncle/dad to help putting the batteries in - all part of the experience. Wrap them inside, but not in the toy - it's very thoughtful of you to make sure it had the right batteries.
>> No. 433029 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 4:34 pm
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Don't see any issue with this game, at all.
>> No. 433030 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 4:49 pm
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I stupidly just visited Tesco; the staff literally looked like they were on their last legs.
>> No. 433031 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 4:53 pm
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>>433029
What's wrong with it?
>> No. 433032 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 6:14 pm
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I've just been to Lidl to get a couple of last minute things; it closed at six so there were only a couple of other people in and the staff were just dicking around by the self-service checkouts.

It was the most peaceful shop I've ever done. Supermarkets should trial having a quiet hour where everything is quiet and relaxing.
>> No. 433033 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 7:55 pm
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>>433032
Tesco have a weekly quite hour for autists like yourself.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 433034 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 8:12 pm
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>>433031
They are too woke for impressions.
>> No. 433036 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 9:29 pm
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>>433034
Are impressions racist? I guess it depends on what you say, but the people I know who like doing them most are foreign or of laplanderstani heritage. Then again, the laplanderstani lads do make racist jokes.
>> No. 433037 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 9:54 pm
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>>433036

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc1u5RpdPeY

Depends who is doing the impression I guess.
>> No. 433038 Anonymous
24th December 2019
Tuesday 10:09 pm
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>>433037
Why are people laughing at him making car noises?
>> No. 433044 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 1:34 am
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433044433044433044
IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS!!!!
>> No. 433045 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 3:06 am
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>>433037
Reminds me of the time I got dragged along to some holiday camp on the coast when I was a wee lad. Don't remember any of it except for the in-house comedian making jokes about mutilating his willy after sticking it into a potato peeler.
>> No. 433046 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 8:13 am
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ITS BRRRRRIIIITTTTFFFAAAA.GS
>> No. 433047 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 8:49 am
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Merry Christmas you pair of wankers.
>> No. 433048 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 10:22 am
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Did Father Christmas bring you lads what you wanted?
>> No. 433049 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 10:29 am
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Merry Christmas.

>>433048
No, just toiletries.
>> No. 433050 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 11:02 am
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>>433049
No socks?
>> No. 433051 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 4:03 pm
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I'm going to have an enormous wank for Christmas.
>> No. 433052 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 4:29 pm
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>>433051
I had a lovely christmas wank this morning.
>> No. 433053 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 4:59 pm
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Almost there!!
>> No. 433057 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 6:28 pm
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>>433053
You must have been edging for a long time.
>> No. 433058 Anonymous
25th December 2019
Wednesday 7:24 pm
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Remember ARE George today, lads!
>> No. 433064 Anonymous
26th December 2019
Thursday 12:19 am
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I've had a look on the House of Fraser website to see if there was anything decent in the sales but you have to sift through so much tat from Mike Ashley's other brands, Lonsdale, Everlast, Firetrap, etc. and even football kits, that I gave up. I can't see it being too long before they go under again.
>> No. 433065 Anonymous
26th December 2019
Thursday 1:06 am
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Just got home from a full house at the parents, think I had about a bottle of port and half a red and enough food for for a week alone. Had a lovely drive home, bit foggy. Evaded a .gs IP ban, now having a few beers and watching YT.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 433090 Anonymous
27th December 2019
Friday 3:17 pm
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I've got £40 of vouchers to spend in establishments such as Harvester. How large a black pudding tower do you think I could acquire with this?
>> No. 433091 Anonymous
27th December 2019
Friday 4:42 pm
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>>433090
Well, assuming a fixed cost per portion of black pudding, with no discounts for large volume orders, then one can calculate this quite easily.
>> No. 433104 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 5:30 pm
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Saw creme eggs and mini eggs for sale in Sainsburys, with a big display for Easter.
>> No. 433108 Anonymous
28th December 2019
Saturday 6:06 pm
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>>433104
only 105 sleeps!

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