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|>>|| No. 432333
It's the first of December. It's that time of year again.
Open your advent calendar chocolates, listen to Andrew, put up your tree, put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight, surviving the Christmas party at work, watching shit on telly.
You know the drill by now, lads.
|>>|| No. 432821
>I'm in McDonald's at the minute and I've just witnessed one of the cleaners slowly and tenderly cleaning the thigh of the other cleaner after he spilled sauce on it. They've gone to the toilets together now.
Horny as fuck m8, no irony. Why aren't porn plots like that?
|>>|| No. 432825
If you want me to truly set the scene then I'm not sure if he was special needs but he was certainly on the simple side. He was early twenties, ginger and he had one leg longer than the other so he walked with a pronounced gait. She had a motherly air to her; I reckon she was in her late forties with all of the signs of a life of hardship ageing her, but she had a bit of a minxy twinkle in her eyes and smile.
|>>|| No. 432834
Help my girlfriend out lads, what do I want for Christmas? I'm a man of simple pleasures and practical tastes so I'm impossible to shop for. I dropped a hint that a new workbag would be nice but she probably thought I was taking the piss.
>Why aren't porn plots like that?
I wonder this myself sometimes. Even watching/reading a supposedly professionally made steaming scene often just descends into an awkward by-the-numbers games.
|>>|| No. 432835
Maybe it's an indication of how fucked the country is, but I found that rather heartwarming.
|>>|| No. 432841
I've received a £20 Amazon gift voucher at work today and it's burning a hole in my pocket, but when I've looked there's nothing I want to spend it on. Almost everything I want is actually cheaper elsewhere.
|>>|| No. 432842
Buy £20 worth of those sugarless gummy bears that give you the shits and leave them out in a bowl at work.
|>>|| No. 432844
>After stories of the candies’ effects went viral, the company stopped selling them.
|>>|| No. 432847
Where do people get the motivation to write a whole long paragraph about their experience with something as utterly irrelevant in the greater scheme of things as sugar free gummy bears.
Global warming is here, the planet is dying, but you're preoccupied with telling the world how great or how shit you think sugar free gummy bears are.
|>>|| No. 432849
Get yourself some ultra soft underwear I recommend Sihohan but get the next size up. Nothing like mincing around the office feeling like you're wearing nothing at all.
>Global warming is here, the planet is dying, but you're preoccupied with telling the world how great or how shit you think sugar free gummy bears are.
Sounds like the usual smoke and mirrors from Big-Gummy. How much are they paying you, lad?
|>>|| No. 432892
I've got a new weatherproof coat. It's amazing how dry and insulated I feel wearing it.
|>>|| No. 432893
I like my goose-down coat so much that I often put it on first thing in the morning, its so snug and warm.
I think this is all going a bit hygge.
|>>|| No. 432894
>you're preoccupied with telling the world
You're almost like a character from a Viz strip.
|>>|| No. 432895
I've never realised coats could be warm before. Usually I have a woollen duffel coat that keeps the cold out but this coat actually has me snug and toasty.
|>>|| No. 432912
Christmas fuddle at work yesterday. There was shitloads of unopened food left over at the end of today so I've now got enough snacks to last me a fair while; crisps, dip, potato salad, crackers, cheese, brownies, sausage rolls, mini pork pies, even an entire cake. I don't care if I look like a greedy fucker, nobody else wanted to take it home.
|>>|| No. 433025
I've bought all the presents for this year but I've run into a conundrum. The gift for my niece requires batteries so I put some in so she could play with it right away, problem is if the box is now knocked one way too much the switch turns the light on. No point is giving her a present with dead batteries so I only put a bow and ribbon around it. That way if it turns on I can quickly turn it off.
My issue is that now she won't get the unwrapping experience but everyone else will. Do you think this will be a bit cunty and I should get to working out how I can stop the toy knocking about so I can wrap it?
|>>|| No. 433027
Kids love the unwrapping more than the gift itself. Also, depending on how old, she'll want her uncle/dad to help putting the batteries in - all part of the experience. Wrap them inside, but not in the toy - it's very thoughtful of you to make sure it had the right batteries.
|>>|| No. 433030
I stupidly just visited Tesco; the staff literally looked like they were on their last legs.
|>>|| No. 433032
I've just been to Lidl to get a couple of last minute things; it closed at six so there were only a couple of other people in and the staff were just dicking around by the self-service checkouts.
It was the most peaceful shop I've ever done. Supermarkets should trial having a quiet hour where everything is quiet and relaxing.
|>>|| No. 433036
Are impressions racist? I guess it depends on what you say, but the people I know who like doing them most are foreign or of laplanderstani heritage. Then again, the laplanderstani lads do make racist jokes.
|>>|| No. 433045
Reminds me of the time I got dragged along to some holiday camp on the coast when I was a wee lad. Don't remember any of it except for the in-house comedian making jokes about mutilating his willy after sticking it into a potato peeler.
|>>|| No. 433064
I've had a look on the House of Fraser website to see if there was anything decent in the sales but you have to sift through so much tat from Mike Ashley's other brands, Lonsdale, Everlast, Firetrap, etc. and even football kits, that I gave up. I can't see it being too long before they go under again.
|>>|| No. 433065
Just got home from a full house at the parents, think I had about a bottle of port and half a red and enough food for for a week alone. Had a lovely drive home, bit foggy. Evaded a .gs IP ban, now having a few beers and watching YT.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 433090
I've got £40 of vouchers to spend in establishments such as Harvester. How large a black pudding tower do you think I could acquire with this?
|>>|| No. 433091
Well, assuming a fixed cost per portion of black pudding, with no discounts for large volume orders, then one can calculate this quite easily.
|>>|| No. 433104
Saw creme eggs and mini eggs for sale in Sainsburys, with a big display for Easter.
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