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>> No. 429895 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 10:05 am
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Any of you lads find British suburbia deathly boring?

Life can't all be action film stunts and fast-paced living, but the thought of returning to my suburban hometown from London fills me with dread. Even when I go back to visit family for a week or so I get bored almost instantly.

Nothing ever changes, small town mentality takes over, what the neighbour bought for their new car becomes the topic of conversation and there's not much to do. I don't mean in the sense that 'there's no vegan cafe that makes food out of recycled compost' things to do, I mean there's literally nothing to do really that I haven't done a million times before. People at home mock how their mortgage on a three bed semi is less than my monthly rent but what they don't understand is that's because nobody wants to live there. I know that I'm being as annoying by sneering at them.

I know I'll have to relent and move back one day as I can't afford to live in London forever but I don't know how to get past this mental block. I could move abroad, but I guess their suburbias are the same too.

Any of you lads in a similar boat? What are your plans? How did you get over it? Or more practically, how do I sneer at the idea less?


Pic related: The kind of place I imagine when I say this.
Expand all images.
>> No. 429896 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 10:41 am
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Yeah, it's quite dreadful. Sometimes there really is nothing except the supermarket. No parks, no cinema, no events, nothing. I suppose you either don't move or find somewhere with decent rail links, so when the Vegan Compost Cafe is having a sex positive BDSM themed poetry jam you can still get to it, you just can't pop in everyday.

I've been fixated for a long time about how poorly thrown up a lot of housing in the UK is, I understand the reasons, but just look at that photo you posted. It's an awkward middleground of too disperse to be properly neighbourly and too far apart to have your own little demesne and as I said earlier, there isn't much going on outside of that street either, because it's just more streets like that. I bet those three bedrooms you mentioned are pokey as anything too. I don't know, maybe you should be a sneering bastard about this kind of thing, maybe living in Mytchington or Lazerby-under-Leer isn't worth it and all the people who do are idiots?

I don't think I've helped at all, sorry.
>> No. 429898 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 11:00 am
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I grew up in a mid-sized city (c. 300k population) and whenever I visit I'm reminded that I made the right decision to leave because of how run-down and grim it is.

However, I moved to a town (c. 20k population) rather than a larger city. I don't think having thoughts like this about where you grew up are uncommon once you've moved away, rather than it being a London vs. the provinces. City living isn't for me as there's too many people, it's too busy, too rough, etc. whereas I find living in a town a lot more laid back and there's decent transport links for when I want to go a city or the countryside.
>> No. 429900 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 11:45 am
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>>429896
>when the Vegan Compost Cafe is having a sex positive BDSM themed poetry jam

Is there a group I can join for this?
>> No. 429902 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 12:00 pm
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I'll inherit my parents' house in the suburbs at some point when my mum dies. It's a picture perfect (upper) middle class neighbourhood with house prices for average three-bedroom homes at around £280K to £450K. My mum now lives there on her own.

I haven't got any idea whatsoever what to do with a house in the suburbs, it's the place where I grew up, so it has loads of sentimental value attached to it for me, but I would honestly be bored to tears living there now. Many of the old neighbours from the time I was growing up there are now either dead or in care homes (we moved there in 1980 when the whole neighbourhood was newly built), and you've got second- or third generation owners there now, some houses have changed hands even more times than that. In the house next to my mum's, there now lives an Armenian eskimo with his family. He owns an auto paint shop, and he's a bit of a chavvy more down to Earth type, if you get my meaning. The kind of lad who came from a council flat upbringing but is doing well for himself now. He often has scary looking visitors, anything from people in black tinted BMWs to lads who look like they just got out of prison. And this summer they've had barbecues about every second weekend, which tend to be noisy affairs with twenty or more people each time. My mum says he's dragging down the curb appeal of the whole street. But I said, not to worry, as long as they don't start halal-slaughtering goats on their front lawn.
>> No. 429904 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 12:24 pm
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I honestly fucking hate it.
I live in Birmingham which has been a shithole since before I was born.
I wish there was more trees and greenery to hide the shite. Some mountains on the skyline would have been nice but no, it had to be a flat miserable place.
>> No. 429906 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 12:44 pm
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It depends on where you escape to. Cheshire is lovely, the northern coast is depressing and the midlands is purgatory. The same could be said for London itself which is mostly filthy, full of cunts and slow moving tourists.

I'm in a similar boat with paying rent out my arse. The plan is to advance sufficiently up the career ladder now and then move to Liverpool where progression is slower and I might still be able to afford a place somewhere exciting (yet away from the riff-raff).
>> No. 429907 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 12:50 pm
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>>429906
>the northern coast is depressing

I went to Southport yesterday, which was the first time since I was a small child that I went to the West coast rather than the East. What a mistake that was.
>> No. 429911 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:10 pm
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>I've been fixated for a long time about how poorly thrown up a lot of housing in the UK is, I understand the reasons, but just look at that photo you posted. It's an awkward middleground of too disperse to be properly neighbourly and too far apart to have your own little demesne and as I said earlier, there isn't much going on outside of that street either, because it's just more streets like that.

Spot on and really well written.

I'm fascinated that outside of a few select spots (London, Oxford, Cambridge, Edinburgh), there really is just a copy and paste to most of the UK and it can actually be pretty boring. Our weather isn't consistent enough either to make us a great outdoor nation that loves the beach or whatever.
>> No. 429912 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:12 pm
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>>429902
Set it up as a home for britfa.gs veterans, fill it with hidden cameras first and then livestream it for profit.
>> No. 429913 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:15 pm
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>>429907

I went to Blackpool on business this spring, just before the start of summer season.

All of Blackpool is mind-bogglingly depressing to look at. You've got shop windows boarded up all over the place and dilapidated street cafes playing 90s boy band music. We went to one of the more inviting looking chip shops, and the owner said Blackpool is one of the worst places to live for young people especially. He was doing alright for a chip shop he told us, but that he definitely wasn't earning riches.
>> No. 429914 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:20 pm
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>>429911
Too disperse? They're fucking semis.
>> No. 429915 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:20 pm
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>>429906
I think the idea though is that at least in London there's always something exciting happening. Even if it is a bit gimmicky you go to London and stuff happening that would make the local papers at home doesn't even get a mention because that's part of the everyday.
>> No. 429917 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:33 pm
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The problem is there's just not much to do in general, in life. If the place where you live makes that much of a difference to your mental state I would suggest you are slightly lacking in an ability to occupy yourself; you're far too heavily reliant on outside sources of entertainment.

I mean, what is there to do? You can go out to a restaurant. Go to a bar. Go out to the cinemas. Go to a museum. Go to a shop. Go to the beach. Go to a forest. What do you actually do? When you boil it down all of these things are just variations of going to a place and looking at a thing or talking to people. They're all essentially the same.

What's different in London compared to, say, Bolton, other than the people and the decoration?

I'm playing devil's advocate of course, but like all things in life you have to balance your priorities. Some people want a quiet life, they don't want to go out to the Javanese gamelan pop up silent disco, they want a little house on a cul-de-sac where they can go undisturbed by the outside world. Then like you mentioned there's the difference in living costs. With British suburbs in particular, unlike their American counterparts, you can be a bus ride from the nearest big city, but still have the relative peace and quiet of a countryside village.

I don't think anyone truly thinks the suburbs are an ideal place to live, but they offer the best balance.
>> No. 429918 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:51 pm
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Can't be worse than a post-Soviet suburbia, can it?

I've lived in one for about a year once.
I wouldn't exchange my current flat for a house there. I still have to admit, living at that place had its advantages.
Also what >>429917 says about occupying oneself and priorities.
>> No. 429919 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:56 pm
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>>429917

What would do my head in about living in a suburban neighbourhood would probably be the degree of social control that exists there. And all the gossipping. And people's window curtains twitching when you've got a new car in your driveway or a new wife.

I'm a very secretive kind of guy in my daily life (blurting out all my private personal thoughts anonymously on the Internet notwithstanding), and I would hate the idea of someone's wife down the street discussing my choice of car, or life partner at their dinner table.

And in that respect, I think wives are the biggest scourges of suburbia. They're the ones doing 90 percent of the gossip, a lot of it deliberately hurtful, they're the ones turning green with envy if you seem to be doing even an iota better than them, and they're the ones spurring on their husbands to keep up with the Joneses. One of my former coworkers had an extension built into his back garden a while ago so they'd have more room after their third child was born, and one of the wives down the street asked his wife something like, "How can you afford both a third child and an extension on his kind of salary?".

And that's kind of all the more reason why I greatly enjoy living in an urban area. I've got a flat on a side street off a busy local main road, and there are people living 50 yards away that I have never talked to and don't know their names. And I want to keep it that way and enjoy the anonymity. I don't want to know about their lives, and they show no interest in mine.
>> No. 429920 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 1:57 pm
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>>429915
Maybe I'm just an antisocial bastard but this has never struck me as a big plus for living in London. The gimmicky stuff is good when you've got a good set of mates with you, but that's the same with any sticky carpet pub in a medium size town. Otherwise it feels a bit plastic when you end up at yet another magazine launch party or kidult night. Same story with the niche stuff where you had better be extremely into stuff to get the full benefit.
>> No. 429921 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 2:08 pm
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>>429914
Yeah, and there's like four miles between each one, it's all fucked up.
>> No. 429922 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 2:09 pm
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>>429914

Semis don't offer the privacy of a detached house, but they don't improve much over detached houses in terms of density. All those houses could fit into a mid-rise apartment block, creating enough space to build a proper car park and a large communal garden with plenty of trees and a play area for the bairns.

British people have a weird aversion to mid-rise flats, probably because of all the crap council blocks we built after the war, but it's just a better way of living. You might be stacked on top of other people, but your home feels much more private and much less cramped because you've got an actual view out of your window. We cram a ridiculous number of semis or terraces together, creating these incredibly monotonous and claustrophobic neighbourhoods, because it just doesn't occur to us to build up instead of out.
>> No. 429923 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 2:27 pm
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>>429922

>British people have a weird aversion to mid-rise flats, probably because of all the crap council blocks we built after the war, but it's just a better way of living

Also, in Greater London at least, there have been countless private developments of mid-rise, own-to-let flat/apartment buildings from about the mid-80s. There were big building booms again in the early to mid 90s and in the mid-2000s, where plenty of decent, yet affordable mid-rise towers were put up.

I hear there's now been a lot of buying up of former council tower blocks by private entities, who are refurbing them and then increasing tenants' rents by a hefty percentage. It's modern-day gentrification really. I als overheard a lad at a bus stop telling a friend the other day that he sees himself forced to move out after ten years of living in a modest tower block because he just won't be able to afford the kind of rent that he'll have to pay once the refurb is finished.
>> No. 429926 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 2:36 pm
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>>429913
Most coastal towns are bleak places, especially the ones that are seaside resorts, but my view of Southport is largely shaped by being on its beach and the people on it.

I should have guessed that most of the visitors would be rather on the uncouth side of things due to its close proximity to Liverpool. The first clue was when I opened my car door and heard a Scouse accent say "I'm freezing. I've already got stiff nips!" The other people on the beach weren't much better; noisy parents threatening to beat their kids if they didn't behave, inconsiderate twunts having a barbecue in the middle of where people were sat, even Asians. I couldn't even see the sea as the beach, which had kind of dirty sand and was covered in razor clam shells, must have been over a mile long. The wind picked up every now and then, blowing rubbish from the various inconsiderate knobheads back to people pitched closer to the shore.

All in all, I wouldn't recommend Southport.
>> No. 429927 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 2:49 pm
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The point and function of a suburbia is to have your house away from the city. You're not supposed to spend all your time there, it's just where you go back to at the end of the day. Expecting to find a rich inner life in there is pointless. And nobody's forcing you to talk to your neighbours about Dave's new car, I certainly don't talk to my neighbours about anything.
>> No. 429932 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 3:04 pm
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>>429917
Are you really trying to argue that there is as much to do in Bolton as there is in London?

I think where you live makes a huge difference, even if that is just a pleasant, non-monotonous place.

And sure there are restaurants, bars, etc. But it's about the quality, the type, or the beach for example. At least in suburbia in Aus most of the year you're a one, maybe two (up early at 5am start) drive form a beach if you want. We could say the same here but it's probably freezing and almost definitely too cold to swim.

That's the difference.
>> No. 429937 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 3:46 pm
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>>429932

>At least in suburbia in Aus most of the year you're a one, maybe two (up early at 5am start) drive form a beach if you want

Assuming you live anywhere south of about Peterborough, you're only two hours away from London anyway. And if you live north of that you're still bloody close, and even closer to one of the also interesting other cities/towns/AONBs/whatevers.

I understand the appeal of living 'in' the city, but a car or a railcard (or even a flight if you're so inclined) and you can reach literally anywhere in the UK in half a day. That's what a suburb is, really, a place you drive to and from. Understand it's just your base of operations and not the definition of your lifestyle, and the angst will dissipate.
>> No. 429939 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 4:03 pm
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>>429937
But is that really true? Traffic, getting into the city, getting parked up, the cost of it all.

It's not quite the same as blasting it down an AUS road or whatever and pulling up and going toa beach, not remotely. And who really does that with London?

It's really weird that your central argument is 'suburbia is just a base, but pretend that the place you spend the most time outside of work isn't a big part of your lifestyle and it will all be ok'.
>> No. 429945 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 6:49 pm
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>>429939

>the place you spend the most time outside of work

There's your problem, you're doing suburbia wrong. You go to your house to sleep, you're supposed to go to more interesting places in your time off.
>> No. 429946 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 7:40 pm
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>>429945
>you're supposed to go to more interesting places in your time off.
Like the big island in those ones named after dogs.
>> No. 429951 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 8:20 pm
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>>429946
Oh you.
>> No. 429953 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 9:01 pm
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>>429900

You wouldn't want to. The internal politics of these things is fucking sickening. Unsurprisingly the holier than thou interpersonal politics attracts the worst righteous bigoted cunts.

Honestly these groups are always just a history repeating of being under the delusion that they can't be close minded and abusive because they are part of a counter culture.
>> No. 429954 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 9:04 pm
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>>429953
As the person who invented the sex positive BDSM poetry slame less than twelve hours ago, I'm deeply concerned about the already toxic reputation it seems to have garnered.
>> No. 429957 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 11:10 pm
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>>429954

I think the other lad was grouping your new counter culture into any run of the mill nerd/fetish event you're likely to find out about through Fetlife. Full of twats who think they've ascended above the realm of mere mortals because they do freaky things in bed and like to talk about it. They can be great fun but undeniably attract a very specific type of intolerable cunt.

>>429919

I'm not sure if you've ever actually lived in a suburb, or if you're just basing your idea of them on something like the 1950s white picket fence dystopia presented in Edward Scissorhands.

It's 2019, nobody even talks to their fucking neighbors, let alone gossip about their love life at the dinner table.
>> No. 429958 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 11:27 pm
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>>429957
>It's 2019, nobody even talks to their fucking neighbors, let alone gossip about their love life at the dinner table.

Exactly. They join a local community Facebook group to whine about the number of potholes on the road or dog shit on the pavements, to let people know they spotted a dead cat or trying to sell tat like folded books.
>> No. 429960 Anonymous
27th August 2019
Tuesday 12:00 am
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Suburbia would be alright if this country weren't so overpopulated and industrialised. In most of the south it basically seems like an inescapable expanse of houses with boring flat bits of farmland or overcrowded parks in between, satisfying neither the city slickers nor the Ray Mears types.

In Inverness you could be living in some shitty suburb but enjoy hiking in the Cairngorms after a 45 minute drive. The only thing putting me off moving up there is the lack of sunshine.
>> No. 429961 Anonymous
27th August 2019
Tuesday 4:01 am
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>>429957

More or less right on the basis of my judgement although I find them to not even be that much fun.

In fact I would say they largerly suck the joy out of promiscuous sex the same way your stereotypical CAMRA member is the least fun person to go for a beer with. My time in fet clubs is best summed up as bearing witness to sex so dispassionate, it has made me question why these people even bother to continue to live at all.
>> No. 429962 Anonymous
27th August 2019
Tuesday 4:08 am
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>>429960

There's lots of decent bits of the country with good access to nice countryside. Anywhere in or bordering Derbyshire for instance, around the Southwest, obvious Northern cities that give you access to the dales, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland is nice too because while the towns are generally boring the countryside is generally a bit more hilly and picturesque than England.

You just need to get out of whatever shite bit you're apparently stuck in.
>> No. 429963 Anonymous
27th August 2019
Tuesday 7:56 am
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>>429961

Agreed. A munch is a terrible place to meet anyone other than a load of judgemental insular dickheads, and has a stupid name to boot.

I've just learned to tell which girls I meet are likely to want to peg me and put hot sauce on my cock. You know the type.
>> No. 430105 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 8:00 am
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>>429963
>I've just learned to tell which girls I meet are likely to want to peg me and put hot sauce on my cock. You know the type.

What's the secret, how do I tell?
>> No. 430108 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 8:53 am
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>>430105

There's definitely no exact science, and I think you have to be quite good at reading people, so maybe it's not even as simple as I think it is, but a lot of it is just picking up on subtle phrases and actions and reactions during the flirting stage. A bossy woman almost certainly isn't into femdom, but a quietly confident one that stares you down half playfully, half threateningly, likely is. Her reaction and response to you resisting when she asks you to do something, or saying something like "make me" will be telling.

If that's all too subtle for you, just look for educated nerds and goths. If they're into anime or Lovecraft and did a proper degree, you're sorted. They're all kinky as fuck.
>> No. 430109 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 9:39 am
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>>430108
>If they're into anime or Lovecraft and did a proper degree, you're sorted. They're all kinky as fuck.

I'd say won't they almost certainly be mentalists but that applies to a not insignificant number of women. My female friends recently lamented the fact that #metoo means when they go to a nightclub they won't have random strangers grope their arse; they admitted that even though they outwardly pretended to be annoyed by it they secretly liked the attention and being seen as desirable. I guess this ties in with the fact that one of the most successful lads I knew at pulling women c. 10 years ago would simply dance near them and feel up their arses; if they told him to fuck off he'd move on and if they gave him a smile he knew he was in there. No attempt at conversation to try and gauge their interest as a simple hand on their arse did the job far more efficiently.

I don't get how you'd even try and wrap your head around someone who thinks one thing but says and acts completely differently, usually because they feel pressured by societal norms to conform this way.
>> No. 430110 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 9:56 am
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>>430109

>I don't get how you'd even try and wrap your head around someone who thinks one thing but says and acts completely differently, usually because they feel pressured by societal norms to conform this way.

You can't, you just have to convince them you're 'safe', as in, you'll not judge them or be put off by the fact that actually, they want a bit of cock and they're here to get it. I don't think the current movement towards equality and the end to random molestation is a bad thing, but the hysteria generated by the more vocal elements of it have certainly subdued both men and women in the pursuit of baser interests.
>> No. 430116 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 6:04 pm
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>>430110

I've always interpreted a lot of the more extreme end of that whole... Thing... As just being slightly autistic people who don't understand human courting behaviour.

I mean sure you can couch it up in a lot of intellectual guff about the sociology of male/female interactions and what is and isn't a product of our culture and whatnot. But when you're an awkward wierdo who has still never pulled by their third year of uni, it makes sense that you might want sex and consent and everything to be a much more businesslike, black and white affair.


fisherpersons are just female chronic masturbators.
>> No. 430121 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 6:21 pm
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>>430116
>I've always interpreted a lot of the more extreme end of that whole... Thing...
Please provide an example.
>> No. 430123 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 7:43 pm
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>>430116

>it makes sense that you might want sex and consent and everything to be a much more businesslike, black and white affair.

That's not what a BDSM relationship looks like unless you're actually paying for it.
>> No. 430125 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 8:04 pm
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>>430123

In the BDSM community, it's not weird to just ask someone "would you like to have sex" without any particular courtship, nor is it weird to go through a checklist of likes and dislikes beforehand. The combination of sexual openness and a very careful attitude to consent makes things far easier to navigate for the less socially adept.
>> No. 430138 Anonymous
1st September 2019
Sunday 11:44 pm
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>>430121

Example: Lasses who reckon it's akin to rape if you look at their tits or whatever ridiculous shit. You know what I meant lad.

>>430123
>>430125

I wasn't actually talking about BDSM, but yeah, it does have a lot of those types, and you are right.

The lad who says if you want a kinky relationship you have to look for nerdy gothy types is spot on. Your other best bet are those council estate working class lasses who didn't want to be chavs when they were a teenager so they listened to My Chemical Romance and Greenday instead. Those ones are more often the deeply submissive no-limits type; your educated goth nerd is more likely to want to peg you but will also have a careful list of things that are off the table.

Those are the only types of girlfriend I've ever had.
>> No. 430140 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 12:13 am
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>>430138

You are operating at the completely different end of the social ladder from anyone I've ever met in the scene I've found the most into it are the ones who are aggressively socialites they have to be driven at everything including how they sex.

It is actually a big part of what puts me off the scene. I could hate fuck them but I don't think I could talk about anything they care about for more than a few minutes before I hit my limit of tolerance for them.
>> No. 430141 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 12:58 am
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>>430140

That's because "the scene" is for wankers, and I think 90% of people who are into fetish stuff find that out pretty quickly. If not, then they're probably one of the 10% who are wankers.

The rest of it is far more easily explored online nowadays. Maybe in the old days fetish clubs and events had more of a purpose beyond letting millennials for whom tattoos and facial piercings weren't enough express themselves; but nowadays, unless your fetish is specifically linked to polygamy or voyeurism, you're much better served just hooking up with someone off a website, or just getting daring with a dating app.

The way I see it, the fetish scene is basically just the "alternative" answer to the more traditional British seediness of dogging and swinging.
>> No. 430142 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 12:04 pm
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>>430138
>Lasses who reckon it's akin to rape if you look at their tits
No, no-one thinks this.
>> No. 430145 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 1:13 pm
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>>430142

They very definitely do though. They might only be fringe online mentalists and student union twats, but they absolutely do exist.
>> No. 430146 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 1:27 pm
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>>430145
Again, no they don't, and you've provided no proof that they do exist.

I'm not calling you a liar, because of course maybe you did genuinely see someone say exactly those words once, but that would be like me hearing someone say they think their parents have been replaced with robot duplicates, and then going on .gs to talk about how ridiculous I find the extremist Parental Robot Imposter Movement.
>> No. 430147 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 1:49 pm
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>>430146
Different poster here
I've literally met those sorts. There are definitely people who grow up sheltered learning male sexuality is disgusting and men are only after one thing and they start trying to apply this model to the world as young adults. It takes them a while to learn what normal humans actually are like. And that not all men are looking at their tits, and even if some men do it is okay and healthy that someone finds them sexy.

I mean we all have to learn from experience and make mistakes I just wish they hadn't been preprogrammed to hate men by their parents.
>> No. 430148 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 2:36 pm
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>>430109
Not to be that cunt but it applies to a not insignificant number of poeple.
>> No. 430149 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 5:32 pm
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>>430146

I'm not going to bother to be honest lad. You only have to go read a site like Jezebel.

There are seven billion people on this planet, and lots of them are nutters. There are literally people out there who believe the earth is flat. There are people who believe the Queen is a fucking alien lizard. There are people who believe looking at a bird's tits is declining salmon populations in action.

I'm sorry if it offends your sensibilities to admit some fisherpersons are mentalists, but some of them are.
>> No. 430154 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 7:15 pm
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>>430149

You just reminded me of the worst article ever

https://jezebel.com/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383
>> No. 430156 Anonymous
2nd September 2019
Monday 7:24 pm
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>>430154

Right, well, that's enough internet for today.
>> No. 430181 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 4:42 pm
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>>429919
>the degree of social control that exists there. And all the gossipping. And people's window curtains twitching when you've got a new car in your driveway or a new wife.

I live somewhere that's identical to your description. I caused chaos last year after I let a friend store a classic car on my yard. The locals first reported me to council for running a business from home then collectively wrote a letter asking me to think of the areas image. All in all great fun and cheated me up.

Tldr - fuck them
>> No. 430193 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 6:49 pm
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>Any of you lads find British suburbia deathly boring?

I mean of course it is, not always it entirely depends on your situation, your wants and needs and your disposition.

The question I'd be interested to hear your lads opinions on is if you think it's really a "British" thing at all?
I mean I'm sure the flavour of it is, the unique granular qualities of grey days in a Swindon suburb or whatever, but I'd also imagine it's just as ghastly dull in some small Dutch suburb of Maastricht or living in a shitey house on the outskirts of Porto or wherever the fuck.

Is that small town suburban mentality/way of life a uniquely British thing do you think?
>> No. 430195 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 7:13 pm
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You could live right out in the countryside. Potentially it might be more boring, but it's not suburban boring.
>> No. 430196 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 7:29 pm
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>>430181

When the new neighbours next to my parents' house moved in, apparently they did some extensive kitchen remodelling, and they put all the parts of the old kitchen like cabinets and the cooking range in their driveway, half covered by a tacky looking tarp. After about three weeks of all those things just sitting in the driveway collecting dust and rain, my mum went over to the new neighbours and said, "This isn't the Bronx, you know. People are supposed to keep up a halfway tidy appearance of their property", and she threatened to ring the council and tell them. It still took them over a week to get all of it out of the driveway. But I think my mum was right to tell them. Their driveway really looked shit with all that clutter in it.
>> No. 430200 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 8:29 pm
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>>430196

If they had rented a skip would that be more or less of an eyesore?

House renovation get messy quickly and so long as the shit created isn't left for months the law has no issue.

Your mum sounds like hyacinth bucket
>> No. 430201 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 8:53 pm
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Skip or no I love that I can just nick junk from neighbour's gardens. The longer they leave it out the longer I can find a use for it.
>> No. 430210 Anonymous
4th September 2019
Wednesday 11:34 pm
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This NIMBY shit remined me of an old /101/ post I made:

>The neighbor at my old flat conversion phoned up our tenancy management firm to complain that we left 2 bin bags next to the wheelie bin when we moved out because it was full, (the council offically won't take any overflow) with an expectation we would take care of the issue. The pettiness is on such a profound level I'm utterly bewildered. Even if they didn't take it they could have put it in the bin for next collection themselves it isn't like there is anyone else sharing the bin with them now.

>Epilogue: The bin men took the rubbish next to the bin anyway, but not the rubbish living in the upstairs flat sadly.


Honestly I fucking hate people >>430196 you included mummy's boy.
>> No. 430212 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 12:28 am
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>>430210

We called the council when we moved out of a place asking how we'd get rid of the shit we were leaving behind, and they told us since it was a student area and we were moving out at the typical student time, they just send trucks out and to leave everything at the top of the street.

We left about two bin bags and an old chest of drawers, and the neighbour up from us went through the bin bags, found a letter with my name on it, found me on facebook and started sending me abusive and threatening messages about how he's going to do me in if he ever sees me again for dumping "all that shit". I told him it's what the council advised us to do and he shouldn't waste his time reporting it, and also asked him why he didn't stop us when he saw us leaving the stuff there (we had a conversation with him about us moving) but he didn't relent so I started pretending I was going to get him arrested for going through my bins and reading my letters, which I told him you could still technically be hanged for. I think he believed me for a message or two but I went too far in asking him what his lawyers name was etc, so he went back to calling me names so I just started sending him pizza deliveries to his house every few days, until he eventually messaged me back telling me to stop sending him pizzas to which I said "what the fuck are you on about, you psychopath?!" and he never replied.

I regret not going further, and I hope that lad's mam is terrorised in a similar fashion.
>> No. 430215 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 6:21 am
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>>430212
>went through the bin bags, found a letter with my name on it,

You're meant to shred things like this. No wonder millennials are most likely to be the victims of bank fraud.
>> No. 430216 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 8:22 am
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>>430215
Sure thing, Big Shredder.
>> No. 430217 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 8:35 am
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>>430215

If someone's rooting around in my bins they already know my address, and all it takes to find my name and address anywhere else is about 50p on 192.com.
>> No. 430219 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:01 am
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>>430215

I did a student internship at a bank once, and one of the golden rules at banks is that nothing is just binned if it has any kind of sensitive data at all on it. Everything is shredded before it leaves the building.

So I've kind of adopted that for myself. I shred all my old receipts, drafts of letters I've printed out, and even most spam mail if it has my name and address on it. If you went through my bin bags, you wouldn't be able to draw any kind of conclusions about me that way.

Another thing banks do every night at closing is the lock in, where any and all papers and folders are locked inside cabinets, because while nobody openly distrusts cleaning personnel or night guards, they want to rule out the possibility entirely that documents are lost or taken by somebody.
>> No. 430220 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:07 am
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>>430181 The locals first reported me to council for running a business from home

How is that even a thing? Unless you're running a haulage yard or abbatoir, it's hard to imagine the council giving a solitary fuck.
My neighbours are great. (We all run businesses from home round here - some web forms when you type an address also list businesses, I'd say that >50% of addresses have at least one company registered.)
>> No. 430221 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:12 am
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>>430219 If you went through my bin bags, you wouldn't be able to draw any kind of conclusions about me that way.

I could conclude you were a shifty bugger with shameful secrets worth digging further for.

(I just let it accumulate during summer and burn it in winter, never had a shredder that lasted longer than a year, and shreddings are a pain to deal with)
>> No. 430222 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:20 am
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>>430221

>I could conclude you were a shifty bugger with shameful secrets worth digging further for. 

But how are you going to dig if all you'll ever get from me is shredded paper.

Are you going to analyse my eating habits from my potato peels or peach stones?
>> No. 430223 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:43 am
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>>430220

>How is that even a thing? Unless you're running a haulage yard or abbatoir, it's hard to imagine the council giving a solitary fuck.

Councils make money from businesses.
>> No. 430224 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:47 am
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If I care enough to be rooting around in your bins, I'll nick your post, violate your network or just make things up. No need to stitch your shreddings back together (although surely that's automatable these days? Unshredding as a service?)

(Note - I don't care enough to root around in anyone's bins)
>> No. 430225 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:47 am
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>>430219

There's plenty of reasons for a large business to shred client documents and it's mostly just to protect themselves. I'm not saying it's a good idea to leave your bank statements in the bin, but at the same time, I also know that when Barclays rings me telling me there's a problem with my account and they need my internet banking details to fix it, I'm not supposed to comply.

I take my computer data disposal far more seriously than my hard copies.
>> No. 430226 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 10:48 am
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>>430223
Barely, since business rates went to zero for small ones. I do wonder if they'll ever go back.
>> No. 430230 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 12:14 pm
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>>430212
> found me on facebook and started sending me abusive and threatening messages about how he's going to do me in if he ever sees me again for dumping "all that shit"
Why didn't you simply tell this cunt to get stuffed?
He's not worth more words.
>> No. 430231 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 2:20 pm
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>>430220

Business rates

Nothing motivates any council like the idea of them not getting paid
>> No. 430233 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 3:43 pm
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>>430224

>No need to stitch your shreddings back together (although surely that's automatable these days? Unshredding as a service?)

If you've got an old straight-cut shredder, then it's not hard at all to piece your shreddings back together, as they only slice the paper once vertically, a bit like a hand-crank pasta machine really. And then especially if you don't mix those shreds up well, the strands of paper will stay together in your bin bag in approximately the correct position relative to each other, so it's not hard at all to put the shredded documents back together.

There's a famous anecdote that right before the U.S. abandoned the Tehran embassy in 1981 during the Shamanismic Revolution, embassy employees shredded volumes of paper documents, but their shredders were also only straight-cut, and the revolutionaries who stormed the embassy then sent in scores of women who were tasked with piecing those documents back together. It must have been quite a shit job, but Iranian television then triumphantly showed images of the documents that those women were able to recover that way.

Long story short, almost all modern shredders are so-called cross-cut shredders, which means that in addition to cutting sheets of paper vertically, they will also be cut horizontally into strips about two inches long. Which should really complicate any attempt to piece those documents back together. Not saying it can't be done, but it should be a tough job even for any kind of computerised pattern matching software that you feed those bits of paper into.
>> No. 430235 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 3:55 pm
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You could buy a new shredder or you could just mix the important shredded documents with something wet, preferably something wet and unpleasant like used cat litter or dog shit.
This is an actual PERSEC technique I got from some book or maybe a lecture by Hadenagy I'm not sure. It wasn't my idea anyway.
>> No. 430236 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 5:18 pm
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>>430233

After the fall of the DDR, the Stasi shredded 16,000 bags of secret documents. The German government are still piecing them together 30 years later. They were helped by the poor quality of East German shredders - a large proportion of the documents were torn up by hand after the shredders failed.


>> No. 430237 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 5:38 pm
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>>430235
Why wouldn't you burn your top secret info long before you started shoveling used cat litter and dog shit into your office shredder? And why didn't the DDR think of that? Am I the smartest secret agent alive? Will GCHQ give me a job now or does all the Edward Snowdon slash fiction I wrote disqualify me?
>> No. 430238 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 6:06 pm
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>>430237

There are organisations that do. Not only that but they feed false documentation into their rubbish. There was a incedent abot 15 - 20 years ago back when paper was more common where a 'journalist' working for one of the tabloids represented by Max Clifford exposed something and it was caught that way. Turned out he was a weird hoarder who went through peoples bins and that is how he had got a fair few 'exclusives on celebrities'.

The first reaction of the company in question that spotted someone was going through their bins and leaking it to the press was that GCHQ must be leaking because that was who usually went through their bins.

Apparently there is a significant cross over with paparazzi and 'secret agents'.
>> No. 430239 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 6:42 pm
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>>430238

Benji the Binman, one of the most pleasingly eccentric characters on Fleet Street.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Pell
>> No. 430240 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 6:46 pm
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>>430237
I'd look a bit strange having fires all through winter but I throw out cat litter almost weekly. There's a lot of stuff just in regular post you get that if someone bothered to pull out of your recycling they could do a lot of harm with.
>> No. 430241 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 6:53 pm
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>>430239
Thanks for finding that and demonstrating I'm not wholly talking out of my arse.
The aspect that is neglected in that article is just how mental he actually is. His house was full to the brim with rubbish. Not just paper but biological waste from where he wouldn't even use the toilet.. He has full on hoarding tendencies.
>> No. 430242 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 7:10 pm
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>>430230

I felt like trying to wind him up. I think I succeeded.
>> No. 430243 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 7:44 pm
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81LoE rY sL.jpg
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>>430236

One of my friends at uni here in Britain was a German lad from Leipzig, and he said that his family found out after the end of the GDR that the East German secret service had kept files on both his parents dating back to the early 70s. Apparently his parents were part of the social elite as his dad was a university professor, but being part of that elite didn't mean you were safe from the government spying on you. I think he told me something that in the run-up to the revolution in 1989, they weren't sure of his dad's continued allegiance to the system, and at some point they had operatives shadowing him and keeping track of minute details of his daily routine, from what he wore when he left the house to go to work in the morning, to how often he and his wife were having sex.

You sometimes wonder why the whole world was outraged by a government spying on its citizens and treating them like potential criminals, when today things like the Snoopers Charter aren't really doing anything different, except all the data is collected by faceless computer algorithms, and not by Stasi operatives peeping into your livingroom from across the street and taking notes.

Apparently, the film The Lives Of Others is one of the most accurate depictions of mass surveillance in East Germany. It was on BBC Four a few years ago, and I remember it really moved me.
>> No. 430246 Anonymous
5th September 2019
Thursday 9:14 pm
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>>429895

I live near a train station. On my days off work I get the train to the city. I spend my days and evenings there and then I come home.

I don’t think where you live ultimately matters. My 9-5s are at work, when I get home I do nothing. Weekends I want more, so I go elsewhere.
>> No. 430268 Anonymous
6th September 2019
Friday 1:04 pm
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>>430246
Do you know how much emissions diesel trains pump out? I sincerely hope you're sticking to electrified lines.
>> No. 430269 Anonymous
6th September 2019
Friday 2:10 pm
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>>430268

Do you know how much of a zealous bore you sound like?
>> No. 430270 Anonymous
6th September 2019
Friday 2:14 pm
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>>430269

Almost as though that's deliberate or something.
>> No. 430274 Anonymous
6th September 2019
Friday 2:44 pm
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>>430270

If there was supposed to be a nod and a wink of sarcasm I assure you it was lost in the crap delivery.
>> No. 430275 Anonymous
6th September 2019
Friday 2:53 pm
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>>430268
Stick yourself to some electrified lines.

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