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>> No. 416122 Anonymous
14th March 2018
Wednesday 12:33 am
416122 spacer
This isn't funny he could have fallen dead

https://twitter.com/theJeremyVine/status/973449634940104704
7 posts and 2 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 416312 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 1:36 pm
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>>416310

Same. People have been seriously injured in incidents like this.
>> No. 416317 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 2:51 pm
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>>416310
>>416312
Yeah, I've seen some cunts on bikes, but nobody deserves that.
>> No. 416318 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 2:52 pm
416318 spacer
>>416310
>>416312

On a road like that he was probably doing at least 20mph, potentially more. I'd hate to meet a rock or pointy stick to the chest like that.

I feel safer cycling in the city a lot of the time, as I'm usually faster and more manoeuvrable than the cars. But out there on them country roads I just about shit myself every time a defender comes barrelling past. There's a reason I have a gopro on my bike and it's not because I like to watch my rides back.
>> No. 416320 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 2:57 pm
416320 spacer
>>416318
>I'd hate to meet a rock or pointy stick to the chest like that.

It would be a fence, maybe some (barbed) wire that would be lethal.

I am a motorcyclist too and I have never quite gotten the point of carrying the GoPro around to record bad things - I get why but I am not sure its the best solution to the problem.

These in-car dashboard cameras have become very popular. Dunno - seems more like a way to get footage for your YouTube channel than risk mitigation.
>> No. 416325 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 3:08 pm
416325 spacer
>>416320

>Dunno - seems more like a way to get footage for your YouTube channel than risk mitigation.

Probably, I certainly would't be telling my insurance company I had one installed either. But there's a lot of crash for cash wankers in my neck of the woods, so I do have one in my car, too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAczz3nYuh4

A while ago my mum went into the back of someone because he slammed his brakes on half way out into a empty roundabout, if she'd had a dashcam she might not have had to cop full liability for it. Certainly she'd have had a better chance than without.

The radar detector is the thing that's worth it's weight in gold to me. I thought they'd be bollocks but they're great. I'm a Very Naughty Boy so it's nice to have that advanced rozzer warning. I've noticed it sometimes pings when there's a squad car behind me (presumably they use the same speed measuring thingies as the handheld plod?), I'd love to know if that's the case for unmarked ones too.

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>> No. 415984 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 3:28 am
415984 .gs choose your own adventure
I will have the next two weeks free and I need something to do. Currently my only plan is to eat and fuck, but I suspect there is more to life. I have about £1000 to burn along with free flights almost anywhere in Asia and Europe.

Give me direction .gs!
1 post omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 415987 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 5:02 am
415987 spacer
Well you could go abroad, but you don't need to when there's plenty of fun to be had right here. May I recommend the Salt Museum in Northwich.

> The Salt Museum in Northwich is the first and still the only museum about salt mining in Great Britain.
>> No. 415988 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 5:02 am
415988 spacer
Come to Crewe and let me mug your grand.
>> No. 415989 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 7:29 am
415989 spacer
>>415987

Oh Alan!
>> No. 416004 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 5:27 pm
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>>415984
Trans Siberian railway and then fly back, if you have access to free flights.
>> No. 416311 Anonymous
19th March 2018
Monday 1:31 pm
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Well, you should have got back yesterday.

Where did you go?

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>> No. 413694 Anonymous
17th November 2017
Friday 5:40 pm
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Weekend thread? Weekend thread.
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>> No. 416242 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 9:56 pm
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>>416241

>They just won't understand how much they've ruined your day, and likely will have forgotten all about it long before they ever do realise.

Succinctly put, at a certain age, you're closer to the grave than they are (except for that one kid who always wears a cap). Youth is a time when you are allowed all the obliviousness in the world. What you do from one day to the next doesn't matter much in your young life. But the days and the way people treat you become more meaningful to you the older you get. You feel sad when somebody so carelessly ruins your day with that one inconsiderate thing they do at a moment's notice.

Those were pretty much exactly my late granddad's words.

Except for the bit with the kid with the cap.
>> No. 416245 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 11:10 pm
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>>416241>>416242

It's just vicious or virtuous circles of perception. If you see a bunch of kids playing outside your house and begrudge them their youth and vigour, you'll be infuriated whenever their ball goes over your hedge or bangs against your garage door. If you see those kids at play and take a vicarious joy in it, you won't mind the odd inconvenience or annoyance.

If a group of children having fun can ruin your day, then your day was probably ruined from the moment you woke up - you were just looking for a reason to call it ruined.
>> No. 416246 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 11:13 pm
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>>416245

Maybe, or, a kid dents your bonnet and costs you fifty quid you didn't have.
>> No. 416249 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 12:12 am
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>>416246
Do you not own a plunger?
>> No. 416250 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 1:18 am
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>>416249

I did but I chucked it at some kids who were having fun too loudly near my house.

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>> No. 416126 Anonymous
14th March 2018
Wednesday 8:07 am
416126 Beggar girl
The other day I was buying groceries at LIDL and there was that beggar girl alone begging near the entrance. She looked like a white skinned Turkette or Romanian, quite sad and scared. Given a bath she would have been very pretty. I was too busy that day, but I really wanted to come at closing time and offer her a good dinner, a bath and a night of sleep in change for some good in and out. Obviously I would keep her in a locked room so there was no way for her to stab/rob me (not that there is anything worth stealing in my shitty house). Any advice, my good lads?
49 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 416214 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 8:44 pm
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>>416213
WTF purpz, worst wordfilter ever
>> No. 416219 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 9:41 pm
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>>416214
I'm only responsible for the first three or four.
>> No. 416224 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 1:57 am
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>>416219

No comedy ban for the comment about you having a list of primary schools, purpz? For shame, I was looking forward to that
>> No. 416225 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 2:15 am
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>>416224
Dear Leader only bans people who are very naughty when there is no one else around or if you've ever been caught up in an inexplicable range ban there is good chance he has visited the country in question recently and been robbed at the giftshop for a shite t-shirt. My exposé on this shocking abuse of power will be in the next newsletter.
>> No. 416226 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 2:17 am
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>>416225
>he has visited the country in question recently and been robbed at the giftshop

There is more truth here than I will ever admit to.

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>> No. 416097 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 7:25 am
416097 Doddy
Goodnight sweet prince.
25 posts and 5 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 416173 Anonymous
14th March 2018
Wednesday 10:05 pm
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>>416163

Sandy Toksvig is a nice person and very entertaining TV presenter. But QI will never be the same again without Stephen Fry.
>> No. 416212 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 8:33 pm
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So Adrian Lamo finally killed himself and I've heard that Peter Kay's death will be announced shortly. Some real out of left field pics in this year's deathpool, I'd say.
>> No. 416215 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 8:51 pm
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>>416212
I did wonder why pretty much every need outlet seems to have an article about him cancelling his tour dated today. And why the S*n seem to have an article about his wife, also dated today.
>> No. 416216 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 9:14 pm
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>>416212
Well, there's this. I dunno.
https://twitter.com/ryanyates28/status/974319686455357440
>> No. 416217 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 9:24 pm
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>>416216
That one that got done for doing Dando said he was related to Freddie Mercury.

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>> No. 416018 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 8:53 am
416018 Instawanking 2.0.
This evening I shall be having dinner with, then fucking, a delightful young lady. This has happened before and there is no chance of this moving beyond a fuck buddy arrangement, partly due to huge age gap. I'm fine with that, my only concern is whether I should confess to having wanked over her, very wankable, Instagram pics. She dies have thousands of followers and posts a lot of lingerie type selfies so I suspect she won't spazz ut if I tell her.

Your thoughts?
16 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 416043 Anonymous
8th March 2018
Thursday 6:55 am
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>>416042
We're all paying for sex in one way or the other, you can't take the moral high ground on this.
>> No. 416044 Anonymous
8th March 2018
Thursday 9:21 am
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>>416043

Thank you Professor. After that razor like display of logic I will look forward to you forthcoming paper discussing the often wet qualities of water.
>> No. 416045 Anonymous
8th March 2018
Thursday 1:39 pm
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>>416044

It's odd that you sound confrontational yet you're agreeing with him.
>> No. 416047 Anonymous
8th March 2018
Thursday 7:17 pm
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>>416045

We have those people here often, although mostly in /pol/ I seem to recall.
>> No. 416048 Anonymous
8th March 2018
Thursday 7:36 pm
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>>416047

The important thing is that we all found a way to feel superi......... sigh.

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>> No. 415888 Anonymous
28th February 2018
Wednesday 7:28 pm
415888 Church
I'm thinking of going to church to meet people. I don't really have a circle of friends, and I'm too autistic to talk to people at work, so I was thinking maybe church would be a good place to network. The only church that has services that fit around my work is a super liberal modern one that plays Christian rock and doesn't do traditional stuff like the Eucharist. They seem quite evangelical I guess, so maybe they'd be easy to befriend as they would want to save my soul.

I'm not particularly religious but maybe I could learn to be if it means making friends.
10 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 415963 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 7:07 am
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>>415962
Plus you get free oats.
>> No. 415969 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 2:20 pm
415969 spacer
>>415963

Quaker Porridge Oats never had anything to do with the Quakers, they just used the name because of the reputation Quakers had for honesty and integrity.

Quakers used to be banned from universities, so bright Quakers who might have been a doctor or a lawyer tended to go into business instead. Many household-name companies were originally founded by Quakers - Barclays, Bryant & May, Cadbury, Clarks, Lloyds, Fry's, Rowntree and many others. They had a near-monopoly on chocolate manufacturing for most of the 19th century. Greenpeace, Oxfam and Amnesty International were also founded by Quakers.
>> No. 415974 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 4:01 pm
415974 spacer
>>415969
I am sure there is a link I could google for, but why were they banned from universities?
>> No. 415975 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 4:32 pm
415975 spacer
>>415974

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AooNHwvzHTg
>> No. 415976 Anonymous
2nd March 2018
Friday 5:00 pm
415976 spacer
>>415974

Quakers were aggressively persecuted, mostly because of their anti-authoritarian creed. They believe in absolute equality under god. They refused to do anything which might imply submission to any authority other than god. They didn't use honorific titles like "sir" or "your honour". They didn't doff their hats. They didn't swear oaths. They didn't pay tithes to the established church.

A series of laws passed in the 1660s severely marginalised anyone who wasn't a member of the Church of England, effectively rendering them second-class citizens.

Universities were religious institutions operating under a royal charter. Applicants were required to take communion in the Church of England and swear the Oath of Supremacy, effectively barring Quakers from admission. These requirements were gradually relaxed over the years, but wouldn't be fully abolished until the Universities Tests Act of 1871.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penal_law_(British)

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>> No. 415916 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 4:57 am
415916 Holi
Happy Holi Hindulads!
Expand all images.
>> No. 415917 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 5:18 am
415917 spacer
>>415916
Tell us about Holi.
>> No. 415925 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 8:12 am
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>>415917

Brownies use this ancient spring/fertility festival as an excuse to thrown water and pain at each other, sometimes as a cover for sexual assault. Bhang lassi is also consumed.
>> No. 415932 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 9:13 am
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>>415925
>>Brownies
>>sexual assault

Typical shitskinzone behaviour. This is why I'm voting BNP.
>> No. 415933 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 10:27 am
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>>415932

https://www.facebook.com/BritishUnity/

Turns out Wor Nick is now the sole member of the 'Nick Griffin British Unity Party'. What a load of bollocks.

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>> No. 415445 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 4:48 pm
415445 spacer
Is it socially acceptable nowadays to carry a Hip flask around?
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>> No. 415706 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 2:40 pm
415706 spacer
>>415694

It's pretty scary/great that you can get 32 packs of 12/200 from boots. It's not hard to extract just the codeine, and with ibuprofen you might not even need to bother. Eight of them and a couple of tins and you're achieving something it would usually take forty quid and a dealer to recreate.
>> No. 415726 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 4:25 pm
415726 spacer
>>415706
I used to cold water extract all the time, to my shame. It's easier to do with Ibuprofen mixes, as it has a higher saturation point in water and crystallises at a higher temp than paracetamol, so you get a higher yield. You can do it with a good fridge, coffee filters, a measuring jug and some hot water and get a dunt that is almost as good as shooting up just from visiting the pharmacy.
>> No. 415746 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 7:51 pm
415746 spacer
>>415726

It's astonishingly easy to turn codeine into morphine and morphine into diamorphine. If you understand the synthesis, it's only marginally more difficult than making a decent souffle.
>> No. 415756 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 8:44 pm
415756 spacer
>>415746

I'm only aware of the synthesis from codeine to desomorphine; it's something of the opioid equivalent of the old shake-n-bake.

Although removing the methyl group from codeine to get pure morphine *should* be simple enough, I don't think I could fathom the chemistry involved in getting from that point to diamorphine.

And why bother when a 10-bag of brown costs fair less and involves far less leg work than traipsing around chemist after chemist for shitty 12/200 codeine pills in the first place.
>> No. 415786 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 10:30 pm
415786 spacer
>>415756

The thing is though, I'm too old to be finding a smack dealer. I'm stuck now with coke.

Also, I rarely do opiates so six quids worth of nurofen+ is at least two fun evenings for me.

It's only tangentially related but I do love a bit of morphine. I had the clicky button when I was in hospital and manged to get a nod on with that, which was great. Also when I was discharged and they gave me that bag of drugs you still need, there was inexplicably eight tubes of oramorph in there. I guess the nurses must have REALLY liked me as I'm assuming that's a very illegal thing to give out like that and it wasn't on the discharge info sheet or anything.

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>> No. 414453 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 2:43 pm
414453 charity at xmas
Do any of you lads give money to charity at Xmas?

If so, which ones and why?
9 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 415614 Anonymous
21st February 2018
Wednesday 5:14 pm
415614 spacer
>>414461
I've seen the same thing in the latest Seen & Heard. All the cartoon homeless men are saying 'you feel guilty saying I'm alright for gloves and hats thanks, have you got any socks?'
>> No. 415615 Anonymous
21st February 2018
Wednesday 5:19 pm
415615 spacer
Home Fundraising bloke came to my door last night asking for money for Guide Dogs. He suggested £3-5 a week. I said I'm not in a financial position to give a lot but I've done fundraising before and I know it all adds up, so I'd be happy to give a pound a month. He says I wish I could sign you up for that but the minimum donation is £2.50. I said what the hell man, here I am offering money and the charity doesn't want it because there is a minimum? And he says mate I keep telling my managers the same thing.
>> No. 415623 Anonymous
21st February 2018
Wednesday 6:26 pm
415623 spacer
>>415615

Probably it costs them more to process a donation that low than it's worth? Either that or they've just done their market research and know that the majority of people will agree to £2.50 if their original offer was lower - they might lose you because of it but your neighbour might go for it and offset that.
>> No. 415629 Anonymous
21st February 2018
Wednesday 7:06 pm
415629 spacer
>>415615
They're on commission. It probably isn't viable enough for them to spend their time signing up something so low.

Whenever they knock on my door I fob them off by saying I already donate to them.
>> No. 415634 Anonymous
21st February 2018
Wednesday 9:55 pm
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I just hide in a pillow fort and scream as loudly as possible. Dunno' what I'd do if someone actually knocked.

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>> No. 414646 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:45 am
414646 Weekend/New Year thread
The night of forced fun is almost upon us.

If screenshot lad was still with us then he could provide us with the highlights of 2017 on Britfa.gs, but my memory is so hazy that everything merges into one so I'm not really sure what's happened here in the past year or so.
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>> No. 415539 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 1:42 am
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>>415513
I am not clicking past the warning page on those weird old fashioned looking sex websites in case they really are hangouts for illegalists but I thought your collection of links was interesting as well as obviously mental and a bit sinister.
>> No. 415540 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 7:28 am
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>>415515
Just some links I had to songs.
>> No. 415544 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 8:06 am
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>>415539
Here eyes are too wide apart. They look like they're going to slip off her face and fall into her ears.
>> No. 415577 Anonymous
19th February 2018
Monday 10:52 am
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>>415540
Except they are not songs, and it crossed my mind that the post was a recruitment ad done in that cryptic crossword style certain people use.
>> No. 415580 Anonymous
19th February 2018
Monday 1:52 pm
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>>415577
Doughnutlads at it again?

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>> No. 415200 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 4:33 pm
415200 MES
"Those flowers, take them away," he said. "They're only funeral decorations"

RIP
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>> No. 415215 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 11:23 pm
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YOU NEED GREASE FOR ROADS
>> No. 415232 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 7:28 pm
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>>415200
I realise how influential he was, but I can't name one of his tunes. Where does one get started with The Fall?
>> No. 415234 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 10:00 pm
415234 spacer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7mp9elK49I

This is the one I remember Mark Radcliffe playing in the 90s.
>> No. 415236 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 10:09 pm
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>>415232

I'd suggest Hex Enduction Hour or one of the 80s Peel sessions.

https://open.spotify.com/album/07AwcsCHsluqGak2UpCMH6
>> No. 415509 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 8:28 pm
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>>415213

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>> No. 414690 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 6:06 am
414690 Anxiety Following QI Audience Participation
Hello everyone,

Maybe this should go in /emo/ but I don't know.

If any of you saw the recent QI episode (S15E09) 'Christmas' you may have found the part at the end when 1/2 of the audience suddenly stood up to sing carols, a bit of Christmas fun and joy.

As an audience member in the other half, I can tell you, it was anything but. Whilst many genuine audience members appear to be smiling, I can assure you, the sudden mobilization of that many people without due warning has left me paranoid and scared.

I was trying to make a GIF in Linux but it didn't work and now I'm too drunk for command line bullshit. Have a look at the photo attatched, this is moments after the 'salut' of the so called 'choir'.

Whilst many people in this picture are smiling (this is early on in the act so much of this smiling is smothered in ignorance) you can see that many people are highly concerned. One woman has even gone Super Saiyan. Remember, they covered this shot over with 'laughter'.

I'm not on any social media, so how do I reach out to other people effected by this?
85 posts and 13 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 415000 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 11:05 pm
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>>414999

0/∞
>> No. 415001 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 2:43 am
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>>414999
You're going to need a lot of proof to make this piss poor attempt stick.
>> No. 415002 Anonymous
13th January 2018
Saturday 7:32 am
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>>415001

Ticket from the filming would be nice.
>> No. 415442 Anonymous
14th February 2018
Wednesday 12:27 pm
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>>414873
Isn't that Raoul Moat?
>> No. 415504 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 8:02 pm
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>>414690

JOIN US ON WORLD OF TANKS

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>> No. 415369 Anonymous
7th February 2018
Wednesday 9:10 pm
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The IRA were the daft militant wogs of yesteryear. Were Irish people vilified in the media during the 50s-90s, in the same way eskimos are today?
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>> No. 415498 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 3:34 pm
415498 spacer
The human eye can't see more than 24 FPS anyway.
>> No. 415499 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 3:40 pm
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>>415492
>>415488

The average people just don't care and never cared- They only bought expensive hi-fis in the 80s and 90s because that was the equivalent of a iPad or whatever back then. The trendy gadget you need to have to consider yourself up to date.

The thing that winds me up about bluetooth speakers and shit headphones, though, is that if you're an average cunt who listens to average cunt top-40 music, all you can hear is vocals accompanied by some mosquito-hiss for the backing track. The majority of popular music now is derivative of dance music, so it's composed around massive sub-bass and big kicks, which you can never hear the majority of the time.
>> No. 415500 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 3:48 pm
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>>415498

That's not even remotely true. Not least because we don't process movement by frames.

http://www.100fps.com/how_many_frames_can_humans_see.htm
>> No. 415502 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 7:31 pm
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>>415497

>That's the so-called Soap Opera Effect

Thanks for giving me the name, I've had this grievance for years but the lacked the knowledge that I wasn't alone and quite why it was happening until now.
>> No. 415503 Anonymous
17th February 2018
Saturday 7:54 pm
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>>415369

1987 motion lads.

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