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>> No. 28571 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:05 am
28571 Minor Rants and Piss-Offs, Mark VIII
It appears largethreadmodlad has also locked the previous iteration of this thread; Mark VIII it is, then.

I take perfect care of my nails. I don't bite them, I cut in the standard flat formation every 3-5 days, and scrub under them in the shower. So why the actual fuck are my cuticles bleeding? Putting the plaster over to catch the blood means I can't play my bass properly, and that pisses me off.
1960 posts and 153 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 30861 Anonymous
25th September 2020
Friday 4:48 pm
30861 spacer
>>30860
Only if its somehow built into the game servers and bypassing client-side DNS records; most of these systems aren't that clever (yet). We'll never stop it all.
>> No. 30862 Anonymous
25th September 2020
Friday 5:39 pm
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>>30858

Want to totally customise a Windows 10 build with all of the telemetry stripped out? Go ahead.

https://ameliorated.info/
>> No. 30863 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 1:00 am
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I had to do a long car journey today and still feel a bit queasy 6 hours later. It's not Covid, I've always had a bit of car sickness which has gotten better with age but I still feel a bit unwell after a long journey with lots of bumps and stopping and starting.

Nothing on the internet seems to provide advice on what to do after a car journey. Other than detailing a rather terrifying illness where people can still have motion sickness for years after a sea voyage where they can't even go to sleep without feeling like they're still in motion.
>> No. 30864 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 1:37 am
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I came down from Nottingham last week Monday for a new job. All my London mates were happy and wanted to meet up since I haven't seen them since December last year. The idea was to meet up before a full lockdown for 6 months.

I moved backed to my mum's house, and I met them. I told my mum I will stay locked in my room until next Sunday, because I went out and met my friends. They had an after-party in one of my mate's house, but I elected to not go. I don't know if that will make any difference. I only had dinner with them, but I was really put off by the restaurant. No social distancing, no masks, etc.

This is really fucked up. I looked up a few hotels and AirBnBs around me today. If I feel funny, in the next 5 days, I will be booking one of them.

This is so weird. I feel so lost. My mum is so lovely, and I never thought I would say this, but I miss the chitchat we usually have.

Fucking hell lads. I'm locked in my room with 9 - one litre vodkda bottles (from a friend who works at a company). WTF should I do?

I want to call up a hooker in a hotel tbh, and have a mad party. Shame I don't have any coke dealers in London. Is that the only thing stopping me? Jesus? I don't even know anything anymore.
>> No. 30865 Anonymous
27th September 2020
Sunday 6:15 pm
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Youtube thinks that I'm a Kiwi so I've been bombarded with videos fawning over Jacinda Ardern throughout their recent election period.


Oh, I'm sure she's lovely but I'm much too cynical for this. It feels like a 1997 Tony Blair has travelled to our future and now lives as a woman in New Zealand. The opposition is an absolute joke as well, just a load of memes about a hammer and sickle on the countries flag or foaming at that time she wore a headscarf.

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>> No. 5003 Anonymous
6th September 2011
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO
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>> No. 30853 Anonymous
24th September 2020
Thursday 12:28 pm
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Apparently using greige, which is a portmanteau of grey and beige, is a thing.
>> No. 30854 Anonymous
24th September 2020
Thursday 1:50 pm
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>>30822
I say this on purpose.
>> No. 30855 Anonymous
24th September 2020
Thursday 2:33 pm
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>>30653
Suffice
or as the americans say: Suff-icey
>> No. 30856 Anonymous
24th September 2020
Thursday 10:32 pm
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American use of the word nominal.
>> No. 30857 Anonymous
24th September 2020
Thursday 11:29 pm
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>>30854
"Me mam's exepmt from waering a mask from coroneyvirus cos she's got dimentia"

"I'm exempt cos I got amstha"

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>> No. 5103 Anonymous
22nd September 2011
Thursday 9:56 pm
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THERE'S TRAFFIC AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE JUNCTION BUT INSTEAD OF LETTING YOU PULL OUT I'M GOING TO CREEP MY CAR FORWARD A FEW METRES AND BLOCK YOU IN BECAUSE I'M AN INCONSIDERATE CUNT WHO WOULD RATHER INCONVENIENCE OTHERS JUST SO I CAN SPEED UP MY OWN JOURNEY BY A FEW SECONDS.
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>> No. 30561 Anonymous
29th July 2020
Wednesday 5:57 pm
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I'm a new driver, and in the short time I've been driving I have noticed a particular class of other drivers who confuse me deeply, because they go 40mph in a 30 zone, but maintain that same 40mph once we're on a 60 road.

I can understand going slowly on a 60 road if you're scared of hitting something, but then why are they speeding in school zones? It's as though they think cars can only go one speed. I just can't make any sense of it, and it's not like I can pull them over and ask what the hell they're playing at.
>> No. 30729 Anonymous
27th August 2020
Thursday 5:10 pm
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THERE'S LOADS OF SURFACE WATER ON THE MOTORWAY? AS SOON AS I'VE OVERTAKEN I'LL PULL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU SO ALL YOU CAN SEE IS SPRAY!
>> No. 30731 Anonymous
27th August 2020
Thursday 5:50 pm
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>>30561 I had it suggested to me that they're simply oblivious to speed limits, and are driving as fast as they're comfortable with at all times. Vision and reaction times affect even the most devil-may-care eventually.
>> No. 30732 Anonymous
27th August 2020
Thursday 7:26 pm
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Is it just me or do a lot of ordinary people struggle to drive in rain? I've always thought of it as just rain, the most harmless of driving conditions, beyond putting your lights on and braking a bit sooner. But people honestly seem to lose their minds when it's anything more than a drizzle.

The absolute shower of retards I had to endure on my way home from work today was something to behold. I had to swerve into another lane on the motorway because some dozy cow decided to full on pull out of the hard shoulder right in front of me. I had a bloke coming down one of the A roads fully veer over onto the other side and force me to slam on and blare my horn. I had some tosser parked up facing the wrong way on the one way road leading to my street, blocking the whole thing off.

I am beginning to suspect it''s some sort of omen that I shouldn't go out in the car for a few days, like Final Destination or something.
>> No. 30733 Anonymous
27th August 2020
Thursday 9:56 pm
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>>30732
If you think it's bad in this country, see dashcam videos from Australia.

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>> No. 22678 Anonymous
10th May 2016
Tuesday 4:44 pm
22678 Estate/ Letting Agents
How is there not a thousand post long /101/ thread on these fuckers yet.

I'm currently having the privileged of negotiating a letting contract with them. Which they are insistent they cannot change. But it doesn't matter that my wishes for use of the property and that I informed them of originally are contradictory with because 'they just won't enforce that bit it's just legally required we put that in there' (it isn't).

This is a deal on a property where we should be moving in in 4 days they gave us the 40 page contract last night and insisted we should be signing by the end of the night that makes reference to agreeing we have seen documents they are yet to provided us with.

Oh yes and they want £150 of fees for providing this standardized contract that they seem incapable of understanding amending, or are being deliberately obtuse as to the implications of 12 months down the line and about £500 more just because.
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>> No. 30590 Anonymous
4th August 2020
Tuesday 10:51 am
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>>30588

Don't you dare compare rats to vermin like estate agents lad. That's just below the belt.
>> No. 30597 Anonymous
4th August 2020
Tuesday 3:01 pm
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>>30590

I apologise to you and to the rest of the rat community.
>> No. 30654 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 1:13 pm
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The one I'm dealing with right now literally does not read my emails.

"Hi, I've sent the deposit, please confirm you have this. I also have filled in the form you wanted, please find it attached as well as the utility bill you requested."

>"Hi,

>Please send the deposit to this bank account <>. Please also >complete the form and return it along with a utility bill."

"Hi, I have already sent the deposit, utility bill and forms, please confirm you received them"

>"Hi,

>I've received the deposit. Please send the first month's rent."

"Hi, I have now sent the first month's rent. Please confirm."
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 30721 Anonymous
24th August 2020
Monday 12:22 pm
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Is it legal for my letting agent to release my phone number and email address to third party maintenance companies?
>> No. 30722 Anonymous
24th August 2020
Monday 12:49 pm
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>>30721
Depends - a specific third-party maintenance company who is involved in the maintenance of the building you're in - yes it is. Under GDPR this would qualify as "performance of a contract".

To a bunch of non-specific third-parties who then sell/market to you, no it is not.

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>> No. 30617 Anonymous
7th August 2020
Friday 9:22 pm
30617 American Express
Who the fuck, apart from posing twats, uses one of these that ends up charging the retailer a stupid amount for a 50p can of pop at a corner shop?

I hate the fucking things.
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>> No. 30645 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 8:51 pm
30645 spacer
>>30644
>>30643
Prices are given in dollars - seems to be a blatant copy-paste from an American source to me.
>> No. 30646 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 8:53 pm
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>>30645
Also "clerk" rather than "cashier", "authorization", etc.
>> No. 30647 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 8:59 pm
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>>30645
That's probably why he prefaced it with "A quick google..."
>> No. 30648 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 8:59 pm
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>>30644
>Christ, I'm actually old enough to have used one of those machines.

I had to use one in a Little Chef about six or seven years ago.
>> No. 30649 Anonymous
8th August 2020
Saturday 9:01 pm
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>>30647
Yes, but the otherlad(s) were complaining about the Americanisms.

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>> No. 30430 Anonymous
8th July 2020
Wednesday 5:40 pm
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I don't think I can take much more of this. My friends use this in almost every line of text conversation. All of them.
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>> No. 30435 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 4:00 pm
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I actually think they can be pretty handy to convey the tone in which I want some lass to read my awkward messages.
>> No. 30436 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 4:20 pm
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>>30435

Yeah, they're essential for talking to birds so they know when you're joking, or else they will genuinely just assume you're some kind of serial killer. The British sense of humour doesn't translate well to text unless the person reading it is quite sharp.
>> No. 30437 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 11:10 pm
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>>30432
> If only they knew emoji originated in Japan...
What difference would that make? Many of them see Japan as an example of a model society.
>> No. 30439 Anonymous
11th July 2020
Saturday 7:57 pm
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>>30430
Genuinely upsetting.
>> No. 30440 Anonymous
11th July 2020
Saturday 10:25 pm
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MSN Messenger winks were really just as egregious. To remember using these after school with mates.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqGJUKaaLU4

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>> No. 28764 Anonymous
23rd July 2019
Tuesday 4:48 pm
28764 Summer
Fuck off sun

It is 34 today, it'll be 37 on Thursday.
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>> No. 28845 Anonymous
27th July 2019
Saturday 3:29 pm
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been sweating my ass off all week welding in this heat. but 3 hours before i leave the fucking weekend rain starts again FML.
>> No. 30075 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 12:57 am
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My nemesis hath returned once more and with him always seems to follow the sweary season on britfa.gs

Let us remember to repeat this mantra "is this person actually an insufferable cunt or is it simply too fucking hot"?
>> No. 30078 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 3:41 am
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I want it to be winter again
>> No. 30079 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 3:55 am
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>>30078
Give it a couple of months.
>> No. 30080 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 7:49 am
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>>30078
Days start getting shorter in less then 4 weeks. ITZ COMING.

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>> No. 25338 Anonymous
2nd June 2017
Friday 10:09 pm
25338 Terrible product/marketing photos
Nothing can so easily send me into apoplectic rage and simultaneous fits of laughter as non-nonsensical photographs in advertising and marketing. I couldn't decide where this thread belongs best as it's both irritating and entertaining at the same time.

Lidl has some brilliant examples, for instance this picture of a woman who is clearly off her tits on some research chems and is seeing hallucinations of vegetables flying around her head.
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>> No. 29459 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 2:59 pm
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>>29457

My ex still calls emergency vehicles "nee naws" as in, oh, pull over, here come the nee naws.

It was sort of funny but mostly very odd.
>> No. 29460 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 4:13 pm
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>>29458

I was just thinking their cultural literacy must be as impressive as whoever thought [word redacted because I just got banned for an hour for posting it] was a good name for Woolworths kids beds. It's not like when you used to see accidentally goatse-looking logos and think oh well, the designer's just oblivious to memes. That was a bit enviable.
>> No. 29461 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 4:23 pm
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>>29460

Maybe someone at Cummings just thought it was finally time to address the company name with a little nod.
>> No. 29462 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 6:47 pm
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>>29456
>> No. 29469 Anonymous
26th January 2020
Sunday 11:33 am
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>>27716
I used to read a trade mag called Computing. They had a long-running gag about "black women with routers". And it was true, almost without fail every advert for a router used to have a very happy-looking black woman holding it.

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>> No. 29018 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:39 pm
29018 Magazines
I get that magazines are more or less obsolete now, except for a few silly sods like me who impulse buy them from time to time.
But how exactly have we ended up with the "November" issues hitting the shelves in September?
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>> No. 29019 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:40 pm
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It's called a quarterly.
>> No. 29020 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:44 pm
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No, it's definitely monthly.
>> No. 29021 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:46 pm
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It's four weekly.

https://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/store/back-issues/practical-fishkeeping
>> No. 29022 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 10:19 pm
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It's mainly for the benefit of WH Smith. Nobody likes buying old magazines, so releasing the "November" issue in September extends the shelf life. Also, international subscribers feel like they're getting the latest issue even if it takes six weeks to arrive by surface mail.
>> No. 29023 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 10:54 pm
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The cover date is for the newsagent, not you. It's the date when they're supposed to withdraw the issue from sale. Typically a monthly magazine will publish either 12 or 13 issues per year (the latter usually includes a Christmas issue). In this case, the November issue goes on sale from 25/09, and will be removed from the shelves around 01/11, by which time the December issue should have turned up.

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>> No. 29001 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 1:28 am
29001 Shit neighbours
Fuck me, the dolescum that live in the "affordable housing" block (see: corporate slumlords) next to me insist on being as loud and obnoxious as possible next to an open window that then reverbs around the close well into the early hours of the morning. It wouldn't be an issue if this wasn't the fourth night this week they'd done it and the countless of several weeks on the trot.

They've had the police called on them for noise disturbances to no avail and doubtlessly have been reported to the housing association (£££) more than once but is there anything that I, personally, can do to stop it? I've asked them nicely countless times (through my window with the blinds closed at night, naturally) only to be met with profanity and increased noise disturbance. I may have snapped at a particularly bad day today and screamed for them to shut the fuck up but it didn't seem to do much except likely irk my neighbours further. And yes, my intended recipients definitely heard.

FWIW affordable housing is great but underclasses that are content being underclasses taking up flats more proactive people could use fucks me off to no end.
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>> No. 29002 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 4:36 am
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Tip the police off that the house is being used to sell drugs. Scum like that always have drugs anyway so the rozzers are bound to find something nickable.

Bear in mind that snitches get stitches and now you've screamed at them they'll probably blame you for anything like that. I know it's obvious advice but keep your head down, save what you can and fight tooth and nail for a better job that lets you move far, far away.
>> No. 29003 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 6:29 am
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Is this the first time you've actually had to encounter the great unwashed? Your options are either to join in with them or do what everyone else in the country does by getting as far away from them as possible. You will not change their behaviour.
>> No. 29004 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 9:36 am
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I find I'm okay with it if I just think of it as an ongoing drama that I catch snippets of.

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>> No. 28995 Anonymous
19th September 2019
Thursday 1:47 pm
28995 Bluetooth
Did you know that bluetooth is named after King Harald 'Bluetooth' of Denmark. Supposedly because he succeeded in getting the tribes of Denmark to communicate with each other and unite with each other? This in spite of the fact that a meaningful modern "kingdom" as we would understand the term didn't really emerge until another 50 years or so after his death and in fact he simply consolidated the Jutland peninsula? When I try to make my computer and my speakers communicate with each other I can tell.

Also he was ovethrown and forced into exile by his own son for being so crap. The son, Sveyn Forkbeard, would later go on to conquer, and become king of, England (which actually was a real kingdom already). Bluetooth has been giving me shit for over a thousand years.
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>> No. 28996 Anonymous
19th September 2019
Thursday 3:47 pm
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Just plug stuff in, lol.

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>> No. 28784 Anonymous
23rd July 2019
Tuesday 10:47 pm
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The next round of Marvel films is going to have Natalie Portman as Thor, Goddess of Thunder; a gay superhero; a deaf superhero; a Chinese superhero; etc. etc. It's going to be diverse, in short.

I'm not posting this to moan about that. I'm posting this pre-emptively to moan about all the moaning. It's coming, you can tell. People can't just shut up and watch their fucking kid's films about aliens and magic, whatever gender or colour the people in them happen to be.
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>> No. 28819 Anonymous
24th July 2019
Wednesday 8:12 pm
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I've seen far, far more "moral imperative etc." about I, Daniel Blake than anything Hollywood has ever made.
>> No. 28820 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 2:27 am
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>>28817

The problem with Ghostbusters 2016 as an example is that it's pretty difficult to argue that the political agenda didn't get in the way of it being a good film. That film was fucking shit, and it wasn't shit because it had women instead of men. It was fucking shit because they were clearly more bothered about subverting expectations and forecasting shipping than they were about writing a good script or hiring actresses who could actually carry a joke.

At best it made no impact at all and everyone has just forgotten about it, but at worst it's had a negative impact for the people it was trying to help.
>> No. 28821 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 12:39 pm
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If I wanted to watch Ghostbusters but not Ghostbusters then I'd watch Evolution. It's a very underrated film.
>> No. 28822 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 1:42 pm
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>>28784
>I'm posting this pre-emptively to moan about all the moaning. It's coming, you can tell.
And come it did. Well done, OP.
>> No. 28823 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 1:47 pm
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>>28820
I wasn't addressing why it was shit, but I still think you're wrong in your reasoning on that matter. I can't be arsed going through it though, you'll just have to imagine me being all smart and long-winded.

Too hot to talk about Ghostbusters 2016. Too bloody hot.

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>> No. 25832 Anonymous
24th September 2017
Sunday 10:16 pm
25832 BRITFA.GS /101/ MARK VII Locked
The old thread is well over 30MB, so I think we're due a new one.

Some cunt threw a firecracker in front of my bike today. If I hadn't seen the little scrote and his little scrote mates running I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late.
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>> No. 28566 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 8:31 am
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I need to stop doing deep-dives into bigoted teen eskimo Tweeter. Shit's too retarded.
>> No. 28567 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:07 pm
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>>28565

I'm learning to be obsequious in Mandarin. It probably won't save me from the forced labour camps, but it might earn me an extra bowl of rice while I'm there.

>他做到了! 杀死叛徒!
>> No. 28568 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:22 pm
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>>28567
You turncoat bastard, I'll have your hide before I take their rice!
>> No. 28569 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 2:03 pm
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>>28567
我的气垫船装满了鳗鱼
>> No. 28570 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 5:27 pm
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The cyclist today who saw an older lady crossing the road at a t-junction and approached it at near full speed, purposefully moving so his path was aligned with hers so he could go 'Watch it!' before cycling straight out of the junction and nearly being sidelined by a taxi with right of way.

I am a huge, huge fan of getting more people to cycle but some London cyclists can be a little bellicose at times and misunderstand their commute to work for the first stage of the Tour De France.

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>> No. 28477 Anonymous
31st March 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
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Using a single opening quote plastered in "popping"colours over an actual quote, like some pea-for-brains heard the phrase "Quote, unquote" and thought to themselves "Well if that one means quote, then why do I need an unquote if the paragraph obviously ends?"
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>> No. 28478 Anonymous
31st March 2019
Sunday 7:17 pm
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I feel like that ought to have some consequences like forgetting to close a bold tag, but I can't think how. Everything is now a quotation forever.

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